How to improve my article

  1. Li-Jen Hew profile image71
    Li-Jen Hewposted 6 years ago

    Hello, I would like to gain feedback on my writing and how should I improve.

    Here is the link to my article: https://hubpages.com/health/Finding-Bea … Repetition


    Thanks for your time.

    replyreport
  2. theraggededge profile image83
    theraggededgeposted 6 years ago

    What a lovely article! I really like it and the ideas you express.

    There's not much to improve really. There are a couple of places where things don't flow, one example is under the Positive Attitude section. There is a lot of 'passive voice'. Let me write a different version and see if it helps,

    "Routine activity may be perceived as dull or monotonous but if you take away something to learn, our perception can change as there will be passion. Take writing as an example. If not for writers' passion in writing, you will not be appreciating their published works. Writing is not a job or hobby in itself but encompasses different expressions, unexplored ideas and unravels the mysterious dimensions of a writer's mind. Passion is also the reason we listen to a song over and over again."

    "We see routine activities as dull and monotonous, yet when we look for opportunities to learn from them, our perceptions change. We find passion in the mundane. Take writing for example, we appreciate certain books and publications because of the writer's passion. For ourselves, the action of writing can be routine and sometimes dull, but if we pour passion into our words they reflect our unique expression and ideas. Writing unravels the mysterious dimensions of the writer's mind; we learn from that when we deliberately ignite enthusiasm for the mundane."

    Hope that helps a little.

    It's not that great because It was done fast 'on the fly'. The passive voice is still there but reduced. I left off the song bit because it was not connected to the main example of writing.

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  3. Li-Jen Hew profile image71
    Li-Jen Hewposted 6 years ago

    Hi Bev, thank you so much for your appreciation and your feedback on how to improve. I enjoy hearing your opinion.

    replyreport
 
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