I'd like feedback on my article: Islamophobia VS Real Islam

1. 69

   itsTalhaposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Islamophobia VS Real Islam (must be signed in to view)

   replyreport
   1. 94

      AliciaCposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Hi. I think your article has two main problems. First, the teachings and quotations are located on many other sites and you have added only a little writing of your own. I think you would have to add a lot more of your own writing in order to get the article accepted.
      
      The second problem is that your own writing contain English errors, which need to be corrected.

      replyreport
      1. 69

         itsTalhaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         1: I quoted Hadiths and Verses. Tell how can I change these verses and Hadiths
         2: I verified my words in U-dictionary. It was absolutely perfect English.

         replyreport
         1. 66

            OldRosesposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            I think what AliciaC is suggesting is that you add your own interpretations of the verses and Hadiths so that non-Islamic readers such as myself can understand what they mean to those of the Islamic faith.
            
            Also, looking words up in a dictionary will only help you with vocabulary. Writing proper idiomatic English is entirely different.  That takes lots of practice.  Be aware that this is an American site and so the editors expect our articles to be written in American English which is different from other English dialects.

            replyreport
         2. 72

            greenmindposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Hi,
            
            Your topic is important and I am in agreement with your argument.
            
            However your first sentence is awkward to a native English speaker:
            
            "Express prejudice and dislike of Muslims and use their power against Islam and Muslims is Islamophobia."
            
            It would sound more natural if you said:
            
            "Islamophobia leads people to express prejudicial ideas about the Islam religion and its followers."
            
            If your first sentence uses awkward English, readers will probably bounce and not try to read the rest.
            
            Your article is also too short, and needs more commentary from you to go with the quotes.
            
            Good luck; your message is important.

            replyreport
         3. 83

            theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            1. You don't have to change the quotations... in fact you shouldn't. What you should do is add a lot more original writing to support the quotes. I would suggest at least another 700 - 1000 words, but they must be written by you and not taken from elsewhere.
            
            2. It's not perfect English, sorry. The first sentence barely makes sense:
            
            "Express prejudice and dislike of Muslims and use their power against Islam and Muslims is Islamophobia."
            
            You have omitted the subject of the sentence. You say 'their' power but whose power? Who are you referring to?
            
            Also a 'phobia' is a fear, not a dislike. I might dislike apples but that doesn't mean I'm an 'applephobic'. However, I might be irrationally terrified of walking under an apple tree and that would make me phobic.

            replyreport
         4. 94

            AliciaCposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            You don't need to change the Hadiths and Verses. What you need to do is to add more original content to the article. The first part (or wherever you choose to add the extra material) needs more information that you've written yourself and is not found on other sites. You've included only four sentences of your own. You need many more.
            
            I'm sorry to say that the English isn't absolutely perfect. The words are correct, but the sentence construction isn't. The first two sentences contain grammar errors and need to be rewritten.

            replyreport
2. 83

   Kenna McHughposted 5 years ago

   Writing articles with quotes requires lots of original content.  Otherwise, the article is flagged for plagiarism.
   
   You need to communicate so others can understand your writing. For example, you write "Islam in fact teaches peace, brotherhood and love."  It reads better as "Islam teaches peace, brotherhood, and love."
   
   Perhaps, you can expound on "in fact." Do people think otherwise? If so, why is that?

   replyreport