I'd like feedback on my article: 4 Memorable Liverpool Comebacks Of All-Time

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   Viraj23posted 3 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: 4 Memorable Liverpool Comebacks Of All-Time (must be signed in to view)

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      theraggededgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      You've overused 'Liverpool'. 37 times. Also, you need to call it Liverpool FC up front. You could also intersperse it with 'the Reds'.
      
      Always write the team name in full the first time you use it, then you can revert to PSG (for example).
      
      Break up large paragraphs into much smaller ones to make it easier for people to read on their phones.
      
      When writing numbers, such as '2 star strikers'. Write two in full. Always write numbers one to nine in full (unless they are scores or player numbers). After 10, you can write them as figures.
      
      Credit and source all your photos. You can't take photos off the web and republish without permission. It's hard with sporting photos, but you need to make sure you are legally covered. Wikipedia might be helpful. Also most clubs have a press page on their website, which might give more info about photo use.
      
      My mum supports Liverpool

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         Viraj23posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Hello!
         I've made the above mentioned amendments, still my article isn't getting approved. Can you help me with that?

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   Viraj23posted 3 years ago

   Wow! So much to learn today! I appreciate your help. I'm soon noting down all your recommendations and submitting for review.

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   Viraj23posted 3 years ago

   Can anyone help me?

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      theraggededgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Hi again, I can see you made some changes but there are still problems.
      
      We wouldn't say 'pounce onto you'. Here's how I would write the first paragraph,
      
      "Liverpool FC are the comeback kings of European soccer. Never underestimate the Reds even if your team has a healthy lead. The game can turn in a flash.
      
      No need to mention 'pee'. Why not say, 'don't leave the room, even for a few minutes' or 'don't leave your seat to get a drink'?
      
      I can't go through all the little grammatical errors but you have three options.
      
      1. Read the text out loud to see if you can pick up some slightly awkward phrasing.
      
      2. Run the text through Grammarly and then Hemingway - both free online apps.
      
      3. Get someone to proofread it for you.
      
      This kind of thing, "fans would've hurled stones at the referee’s house..." is not appropriate. How does that make the team look? Think carefully what impression your words will create.
      
      You've changed out many of the references to Liverpool with 'the Reds', but again, it's overused. You need to find a way of reducing them. Otherwise the article looks keyword stuffed' It's okay to say 'they' or 'the team'. Go and read some other soccer articles to see how the writer deals with it.
      
      Read again what I said about using photographs. You cannot republish images from the internet *without permission*. Linking to the source does not make it okay. Then go and read this: https://hubpageshelp.com/content/Learni … -image-use
      
      Good luck.

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         Viraj23posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks! I am now working on it.

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