I'd like feedback on my article: How to Make Your Man Obsessed With You

1. 64

   Alnajda95posted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: How to Make Your Man Obsessed With You

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   1. 66

      OldRosesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      HubPages is an American site with a mainly American audience.  Your suggestions are not considered an appropriate way for American women to behave.  We believe that men and women are equal and that women should be valued for their intelligence and talents.  We Americans view your suggestions as old-fashioned and no longer relevant in the modern world.

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   2. 94

      Abby Slutskyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      A lot of your suggestions are very old school, but there are problems with grammar, punctuation, and wording. Here are some specific suggestions for the first part, and I gave some general suggestions at the end. Men are visual creatures, as visual creatures, they value the feminine beauty of a woman. Well, this does not mean spending thousands of dollars(omit in your looks)(to improve your appearance) while trying to (live on a budget.) (omit make it in a budget as well.)
      1. Smell good(.)  Men value and crave (omit about the way) their women’s scent. Do not forget to smell good every day (,)and every minute of the day ladies. If (omit if) not with expensive perfumes, you can (omit well make it with) use different aromatic essential oils. (omit as well.) Note: The fragrance of the essential oils last longer than perfumes.
      2. Make sure your outfits are always clean.
      3.Dress femininely. (Punctuation periods) By dressing femininely (omit again) this does not mean (spending) lots of money on clothing.(Omit of course, you can make it in a budget.) It is not necessary to buy brand name clothes only. You can buy even simple market clothes or second-hand clothing but  ( omit choice is up to you, to )choose feminine colors and styles that are  (omit choose colors such as red, pink, yellow violet and gold as long as these are al) eye-catching (to) a man.
      4. Do not swear(punctuation) When a woman swears it makes her look a Lil(lower case L) bit masculine and a (omit high) masculine man would never want to be with another "man" by his side.
      5. Use natural makeup You need periods after these.
      6. Use accessories
      7. Wear high heels
      8. Smile more
      9)Maintain a sexy natural eye contact
      Show appreciation (period)Men love to be heard and appreciated by their women.
      Show appreciation anytime they do something for you, even if it small. At least he is trying to satisfy you (,)and this should be appreciated for sure. Once you appreciate him, he will start to do more.
      Men love to see their women happy especially, when they are (themselves redundant)  the cause of it.
      Watch your punctuation. You missed
      a lot of periods and are wordy in places. Your subtitles are not in the correct format. If you do not know how to fix them, use https://capitalizemytitle.com/ to help you.
      
      You have a lot of compound sentences that are incorrectly punctuated. The general rule is that if two sentence can stand alone and are attached by a conjunction (and, or, but etc.), then a comma goes before the conjunction.
      
      Ex. Show him that you appreciate him, and thank him for giving you flowers.
        Show him that you appreciate him. Thank him for giving you flowers.
      
      I like cooking and eating food. No comma because eating food is not a full sentence by itself.

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2. 64

   Alnajda95posted 4 years ago

   Wow, really? Actually these are psychological tricks mostly and psychology is same for all. Anyways thanks for the feedback.

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      Marketing Meritposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry, but I have to agree with Old Roses. The content is outdated for westernised countries. Traits such as self-confidence, financial independence, honesty, empathy, mutually supportive and career oriented are just a few of the characteristics that men seem to be attracted to these days.
      
      Nothing wrong with high heels and makeup, but that is likely to attract short-term attention, rather than long-term commitment.
      
      In addition to the content needing reviewing, there are some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Try using Grammarly for this.
      
      Good luck.

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      theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I thought the same as Roses. I mean, wear stilettos if it makes you happy (along with all your other suggestions), but to do it to 'please your man', it's well, a bit 20th century.
      
      And I say this from the perspective of a 21 year relationship, with a man who has never required me to pretend-act in any way.
      
      I can also guarantee that no woman can keep this act up permanently... and I know because I tried it with my ex husband. It worked only too well, but it is exhausting and makes you feel self-subjugated. And 'your man' will feel duped when he realises you are a human being who struggles, sweats, and feels like crap sometimes, just like he does.
      
      Anyway, you need to work on your grammar and punctuation. There are many errors (mostly minor) which require fixing. For example, 'brandy clothes' should be 'branded' or 'designer' clothes.
      
      Good luck.
      
      Edit: Just spotted this sentence, "Know your place ladies, you can never compete with a man."
      
      Goodness me.
      
      

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   3. 66

      OldRosesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      That's the problem.  Here in the US, we don't believe in women "tricking" men into liking them.  American women want to be accepted and valued for who they are, not who they aren't.
      
      You're going to have a tough time getting this through QAP.  All of the editors are American women.
      
      Edit:  maybe you want to write on a different topic.

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   Rupert Taylorposted 4 years ago

   Oh Dear. I didn't get very far into the article before baling out for the reasons eloquently expressed by Old Roses, Marketing Merit, and theraggededge. The wiles described might snag a man for a brief period of time, but if a long-term relationship is what you want you'd better think beyond spike heels, push-up bras, and eye liner. This from a man who has been in a monogamous relationship for 46 years with a woman who used none of the artifices suggested.

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4. 64

   Alnajda95posted 4 years ago

   Wow, okay it starts to make sense to me. Thank you all.☺️✨✨✨✨

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5. 73

   LeslieAdrienneposted 4 years ago

   Sadly Rupert, most women have been duped into thinking that men want sex and sexiness ALL of the time to the exclusion of anything character qualities... ....

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6. 64

   Alnajda95posted 4 years ago

   Thank you all very much.☺️☺️☺️☺️

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