I'd like feedback on my article: Gift Basket For Men - Make Your Own!

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   rox19posted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Gift Basket For Men - Make Your Own! (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   Stephanie Purserposted 7 years ago

   Hi,
   
   I like your ideas for gift baskets! Men are hard to buy for.
   I did notice straight away though, in the first capsule is the phrase "click edit to..... "
   Might want to remove that!

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      rox19posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      thank you! I can't believe I didn't noticed .... facepalm!

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   Stephanie Purserposted 7 years ago

   These things happen. Not to worry!

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   Rupert Taylorposted 7 years ago

   There are a lot of grammar problems
   
   "When you a kid, birthday /Christmas/ father's day present sorted for you."
   
   When you are a kid, birthday, Christmas, and Father's Day presents are handled for you.
   
   "Only you have to do - present on a day with cute smile."
   
   All you have to do is give the present on the day with a cute smile.
   
   Sorry, I didn't go any further because the English usage was so poor.
   
   Images also have to be free of copyright restrictions and properly sourced. HubPages will soon only allow full width pictures.

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      rox19posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      First of all, thank you for your input. Quite harsh and useless – but thanks anyway.
      Re pictures – not helpful. If there was problem with copyright – I would not use them (I might be not English born and bred but not that silly). About soon only full width pictures would be allowed – it not at this moment, I will be worried about this if and when it happens.

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         theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Rox, you have to understand that if you ask for feedback here, you are going to get it.
         
         Firstly, having people tell you that your article is great is not good feedback. Unless the suggestions given help you to get it past the QAP process, you may as well forget them.
         
         Secondly, you might not like Rupert's tone, but he is right. There are a great deal of grammatical errors throughout the article. Even the title is incorrect. It should be "Gift Baskets for Men".
         
         Thirdly, your choice of images is not likely to go down well with HubPages as they are generic clip-art.
         
         Fourthly, the process of changing hubs to a single column and full width images is happening now, not 'if and when'. If you don't make sure your hub is correctly set up, it will be done automatically and you might not like the results. So use the Mobile Preview facility to make sure it is to your liking.
         
         To get your article approved, featured and maybe moved to a niche site (where you will attract traffic) you must clean up the grammar, get rid of all the shouty, excitable writing, delete the exclamation points, use proper legal-to-use images that fit the topic, use bullet points or numbering for the lists, put your subtitles into title case and proofread thoroughly.
         
         Good luck.

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            rox19posted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Dear Bev,
            The reason I put this message here - because I would love feedback and help.
            Firstly, I would like constructive feedback, not feedback based on reading 2 lines.
            Secondly, I don't have problem with Rupert's tone - I said useless because he really just read 2 lines and that's it. I know for sure that problem not just with grammar - HubPages telling me when it’s just grammar. I can't see anything else in his comments - so what the point of giving feedback after reading 2 lines? It’s not a feedback - it’s just slugging off without any real suggestions.
            Thirdly, I have seen in some featured articles use of generic clip-art. Unfortunately, I can't find them at the moment so for now I will just leave it.
            Fourthly, sorry, I was not informed about it - I'll wait for official confirmation. Yes, I used the mobile preview - I think looks even better that way.
            Lastly, thank you very much for those suggestions. Yes, I did think that I might use too much the exclamation points - I'll change them. Bullet points are great idea - def will look better! I have a problem with proofreading - spell check and grammar check telling me that it's fine ... any suggestions? Maybe, you know a decent software?
            Also, can I please ask - 'gift basket for man' or 'gift baskets for men'?
            Regards

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               theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               https://blog.hubpages.com/2017/07/25/fu … ol-update/

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   faith-hope-loveposted 7 years ago

   T0 Rox19.  Having written for the mainstream. I learned that in any piece the real work begins after the article is written and before submission. One must edit and rewrite a few times in order that we ourselves are satisfied that what we  have written tels the story as we want it to be understood. Edit for grammar. for lucidity, to give your message. Then after it is published, here on Hub Pages, continue to work on the piece. Good luck with all your endeavors and I know that you WILL do well. Your Daughter and your husband are on our prayer List. Also there are many groups, through the churches that can help you with them check out your local churches as to what they have.

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      rox19posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you!

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   NessMovieReviewsposted 7 years ago

   Hey Rox,
   I use grammarly online grammar check if Im working on my laptop, and have paid $5ish bucks for an ap called Ginger which is also able to be used on my computer once download and installed - I start by writing up my article in office and running that programs spell and grammar check, then running it through Ginger as well as it has suggestions for alternate sentences and will read out your article to you so you can see how it sounds.
   I didnt see a problem with your pics, however try to choose high resolution ones as I would hazzard a guess that you may have had a notice pop up within ediying your hub pointing out style tips saying they may be poor quality. I find the resolution has to be higher to be clearer, they look grainy on my phone.
   I agree with the grammar issues, I could hear the accent through your writing if that makes sense which is why the Ginger app may be of use to you.
   It would go with:
   How to Make a Gift Basket - For Men
   Make Your Own Gift Basket - For Men (or For a Man)
   Gift Baskets For Men - Make Your Own. If you want to use man - it would be 'a' man.
   Good luck, it's a cute idea.

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      rox19posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much! Really appreciate your advise.
      
      I know I have grammar issues - I self-taught myself English 15 years ago. I managed to pass my language exam - nearly failed on righting ..... I will look into the app you suggested - I need every help I could get.
      
      About the name - that's really kind of you to give me a few suggestions. I'll change to the first one.
      
      Regards

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   Stephanie Purserposted 7 years ago

   Hey Rox,
   Just a friendly reminder that you have done very well to learn a different language!
   Whilst I've been speaking and writing it my whole life, I still stuff up and people on here will gladly point it out.
   Consider it productive criticism and remember hubpages, whether you get published, featured or knocked back altogether... is still a great platform to practice our writing skills and learn.
   Steph ✌
   (my phone autocorrects my name to Stephen)

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