Hi Hubbers,
I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
Here is my article: Surviving Covid Blues In The Caribbean (must be signed in to view)
Hi there, Raquel, here are my suggestions:
Unbold all your text.
Your title doesn't reflect the content. There is no clue that the article is about herbs. 'Blues' suggests mood, not boosting the immune system with herbs and teas.
Some sentences are wordy, for instance, "However anyone's luck can get compromised as to when we encountered our first coronavirus patient in March." That doesn't really make sense. It would be better as, "However, our luck was compromised when we first encountered Covid-19 in March."
The intro is very 'bloggy'. People are interested how the information can help them; they are not particularly interested in you (sorry, but that's true) unless you have a really interesting and zingy opening story. The last sentence of the first paragraph is a 'run-on' and needs breaking up.
Read your text out loud. It will help you pick up long and wordy sentences.
Herbal Starter Pack... what is that? You don't explain. Lemons aren't herbs. Also, sub-headings shouldn't be in upper case, use title case.
So, what has the content got to do with CV-19? You don't link any of it to the virus. Having said that, you can't give medical advice unless you are an expert, so be careful with that.
I would suggest that you study the articles on the network sites and also in the Learning Centre (click Help, top right, to navigate there).
Good luck. You have a nice writing voice, so don't give up.
Thank you for your assistance and advice. This is my first and I will try to do better on future articles
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