Fun All the Way

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  1. ARUN KANTI profile image27
    ARUN KANTIposted 4 years ago

    Kindly suggest how to improve the quality of the above story.

    1. OldRoses profile image64
      OldRosesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Your English needs work.  It is not enough to translate directly from your language.  Phrases that are used in one language make no sense in other languages.  For example, the phrase "any scope of doing a bit of merriment" makes no sense in English.  We probably have a different but equivalent phrase but I can't tell you what it is because I'm not sure what you are trying to say. 

      I suggest that you have a native English speaker read your article and suggest the correct English phrases.

      1. MizBejabbers profile image95
        MizBejabbersposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Okay, I'm a native English speaker, a one-trick pony because that's the only language I know. I must say that I admire people who are multilingual. I read the first paragraph, and as a former editor and ghostwriter, I took the liberty of rewriting the paragraph in my native southern vernacular english. Please Arun, don't be upset, my friend. You did ask for it. This is my interpretation of what you were trying to say. lol

        Sunny had a problem. The man couldn’t resist showing his ass on the slightest provocation. He continued to act like a jerk even after we informed him that we didn’t take him seriously.  Our wives were coming with us on this trip, and we had some serious reservations about their appreciation of his sophomoric sense of humor. Mon and I had warned him several times not put us on the spot.  "For God's sake, man, behave yourself," we said. Being accustomed to the trickster he was, we could put up with his jokes, but our wives would not, and neither would our friends. Trouble was brewing.

  2. Jodah profile image84
    Jodahposted 4 years ago

    Arun, I read this story 18 months ago. It is quite good. I guess you want to improve it so it will be moved from HubPages to a niche site.
    I am not sure what you can do.I have over 100 articles still on HubPages and can’t get them moved.

 
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