Article improvement suggestions

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  1. infoshare18 profile image81
    infoshare18posted 2 years ago

    Hello,

    I’ve written good featured articles but while submitting to niche sites I get mostly similar reverts mentioning improvement on spelling/grammar/ punctuation.

    With latest revert from turbofuture was kind of

    All articles on Network Sites should demonstrate a good command of the English language with appropriately chosen words and readable sentences. Reading your article out loud is a great way to catch typos and other minor errors.

    For

    How Has Wi-Fi & Wireless Network Technology Developed in 50 Years?

    http://hub.me/aoBXD

    No spelling errors
    Might be minor punctuation or grammatical errors. Can somebody please go through few articles and point out what I’m I missing commonly or suggest good tool to catch that 1% errors.

    1. Chatty Chat profile image88
      Chatty Chatposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Based on reading your article, your writing does not flow naturally.
      Unfortunately there isn’t a good tool to correct your writing or make it flow better. However, I noticed that you have a lot of run-on sentences. Try fixing those first. smile Getting rid of those will make your article easier to read.

      1. infoshare18 profile image81
        infoshare18posted 2 years agoin reply to this

        I’ll work on your suggestions.
        Thank you for your precious time and expert advice.

        1. Chatty Chat profile image88
          Chatty Chatposted 2 years agoin reply to this

          You’re welcome!

  2. theraggededge profile image97
    theraggededgeposted 2 years ago

    Hi there,

    A few suggestions:

    Replace the ampersand in the title with 'and'.

    Make sure Wi-Fi is capitalised in the article bio. and throughout smile

    "Was coined" not "got coined".

    Your article reads like a summary. It's a good resource but it's not something anyone would choose to read unless they were looking for the bare facts, in which case they'd probably go to Wikipedia.

    At the end, you have "Wi-Fi Questions", but there's only one question.

    The last three paragraphs are off-topic. The Internet (in general), pen drives, and digital marketing are not related to the title.

    There's a lot of work to get this ready for a niche site.

    It's a good idea to check what is already there. For example: https://turbofuture.com/computers/Thing … bout-WIFI.

    If you scroll down the page to the related articles, you'll see how the topic of Wi-Fi is broken down into helpful niche subjects. General overarching titles don't do so well on the network sites unless they are in-depth (think 3,000 words+).

    Good luck.

    1. infoshare18 profile image81
      infoshare18posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I will definitely work on those mistakes. But some of the changes which you have recommended or pointed out are certainly edited by niche site or hubpage experts.

      ‘Was coined’ turned into ‘got coined’  to avoid passive verbs as recommended by some good spell/grammar checker. Earlier  it was ‘was coined’ honestly.

      The title was changed to ‘Wi-Fi Questions’ by editor of turbofuture or hubpage expert.

      Accumulating enough technical information in article and yet making reading interesting for less technically known person, kinda finding information fascinating, that’s the aim.

      Agreed to your point in writing in-depth articles. Will work on it and sum up in better way.

      Thank You for kind attention and advice. Means a lot!

      1. theraggededge profile image97
        theraggededgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

        'Got coined' is passive voice. There's no difference. 'Got' is an ugly word and suggests that the term existed already. Example: 'The fish got caught'. Horrible, right?

        You could rewrite it as, "Interbrand, a brand consulting firm, coined the term, Wi-Fi in 1999."

        The editor probably wanted you to add a section entitled ‘Wi-Fi Questions’. However, there is only one, so perhaps think of adding some more?

  3. Glenn Stok profile image94
    Glenn Stokposted 2 years ago

    In addition to the excellent answers above, here are two additional points:

    1. Your subtitles need to be in proper APA Style title case capitalization and should not end with periods.

    2. You can only use images that are allowed for commercial use that are not protected by copyright. Your images are copyrighted by Vox Media, although you indicate Infoshare18. I see you call yourself Infoshare18.  Are you indeed that company? Your bio does not indicate that.

    1. infoshare18 profile image81
      infoshare18posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Titles are auto corrected as per APA Style by hubpage suggestion tool. Will work on this advice.

      To avoid broken link issue in future (if any) and offer credit to the image source I’ve uploaded the image and kept the original sources tag. Not adding though URLs.

      Infoshare18 has different meaning overall, indeed it’s the username which relates me, blogging and hubpages.

      Thank you for offering your valuable time and advice.
      Cheers!
      Infoshare18
      Hiren V

  4. Sue Adams profile image96
    Sue Adamsposted 2 years ago

    Hi Hiren,

    I note that you wrote 30 articles, 3 of them are featured, two of which are on TurboFuture. Well, that's a start.

    Your Bio
    Just looking at your Bio I find …

    A visioner & technology enthusiast who envisions the unlimited possibilities of wi-fi & wireless technology combined with IoT devices.

    Never use the same or similar words twice in a sentence.

    You could rephrase that to:

    An avid technology enthusiast who envisions the unlimited possibilities of WiFi and wireless technology combined with IoT devices.

    Sorry, but what are IoT devices?

    Capitalize My Title and Grammarly
    To expand on Glenn’s point. Use these links to check that your title and all headings are correctly formatted and to check grammar.

    https://capitalizemytitle.com/

    https://chrome.google.com/webstore/deta … lhen?hl=en

    The free version of Grammarly automatically corrects things like:
    “Do Digital Marketing Overpowers ….”
    to
    “Does Digital Marketing Overpower….”

    Run-On Sentences
    Here is an example of what Chatty Chat is talking about (run-on sentences):

    The research and development of wireless networks began in the year 1971 with ALOHAnet, a computer network system developed by the University of Hawaii connecting the Hawaiian Islands by a (UHF - Ultra High Frequency) wireless packet data network and were early birds to enter the era of Ethernet and IEEE 802.11 - Legacy mode.

    You can make that into four sentences as follows:

    The research and development of wireless networks began in the year 1971. ALOHAnet, a computer network system, was developed by the University of Hawaii. It connected the Hawaiian Islands by means of a UHF (Ultra High Frequency) wireless packet data network. They were the early birds that entered the era of Ethernet in 1997 with the original version of the IEEE802.11 wireless networking standard.

    Bullet Points
    Only use bullet points where they list something you just said.

    “Current Decade Scenario” could all be one continuous paragraph without the bullets.
    At the bottom, from “Wifi Questions” use Text Capsule headings instead of bullet points. Delete the words “Wifi Questions”. Don't link these headings.

    Too Much Self-Promotion
    You have no less than 4 links to your own articles at the end. I believe we are only allowed two links to our own articles. However, you could keep all the text and use the titles as text capsule headings. Then at the end, Make a new capsule entitle “Further Reading” in which you put only 2 titles with links as shown below.

    https://hubstatic.com/15667318.png

    Make It More Interesting
    The article is informative. However, Bev is right “Your article reads like a summary.“ You could make it more interesting, by doing more research (google some names) about the people and places involved in the evolution of Wi-Fi & Wireless Network Technology. And also give more explanations of tech jargon. Imagine who your readers are. Are they teenagers who don’t know about the history or are they old people who don’t know what a USB pen drive is? Are there any more new gadgets? What about Alexa etc. Home security systems?

    With the help of Capitalize my Title, Grammarly, better formatting, and more research, this article might, with a lot of work, make it to TurboFuture too.

    1. infoshare18 profile image81
      infoshare18posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      The mistakes are common in all my articles. They are informative but loose their charm in between. Thank you for pointing out those things overall. I have used some tools to correct unknown  typos and grammars. All your’s and other experts suggestion are noted. Period!

      Will work on them and improvise.
      25 articles are featured out of 30. Hopefully write better articles considering all your suggestions and make it to niche sites.

      Thank you for taking your invaluable time to go through articles and offering priceless advices.
      It’s worth a lot to me.

  5. AliciaC profile image92
    AliciaCposted 2 years ago

    You've been given some great advice. The two things that struck me the most were the facts that you presented and the images.

    I think you need to add more detail and explain all of the technical terms that you've used. The article could be overwhelming for some people and cause them to stop reading it.

    The third image contains French headings. This isn't suitable for an article in the English language. I don't think that starting an article with an image that's a trademark  is a good idea. You should pay attention to Glenn's comment about the pictures as well.

    1. infoshare18 profile image81
      infoshare18posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I’ve noted all suggestions from great people. An eye-opener to me honestly. I’ll go though the areas you have pointed out.    The focus while writing is to offer good information/ knowledge. I found out if I don’t present well, people will not find it interesting and stop reading in between, as you mentioned. Will work on your suggestions. There is lot to take away by reading your articles and suggestions from you and other experts.

      Thank you for your precious time and suggestions.

 
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