Looking for Feedback

1. 64

   MordechaiZoltanposted 14 years ago

   Hi! I was just looking for some feedback on my writing style in terms of readability and creativity. I know they will not attract any revenue but am curious whether anyone other than myself can tolerate my writing. Thanks!!

   replyreport
2. 0

   Website Examinerposted 14 years ago

   I have read your three hubs. Your writing level is much higher than what you are giving yourself credit for, but perhaps you already know this...
   
   The Garden is intense, interesting, and convincing. Reducing the double spacing between paragraphs will make it easier to read, and how about inserting an image. Also, I found it peculiar that the "alcoholic" label appeared so late in the text, and you did not elaborate although this may have been key to understanding the man in question.
   
   About the hub on internet porn addiction, your approach may be okay as long as you understand that many people around here are prone to taking words like "hell" quite literally. So your hub could be seen as passing religious judgment, which in turn could polarize your readers or give you different kinds of supporters than you had in mind. (I did not understand where you "are coming from" as far as your background or motive for writing this story).
   
   "Am I Not Human?" didn't impress me much. It is well-written, but lacking in philosophical depth. Laugh all you like, but did it never occur to you that those most eager to be helpful and courteous may also be the ones that have the lowest threshold for taking offense from their fellow citizens? It is easy to ridicule others, but there are more angles to this story than what you have explored. (I did not understand where you "are coming from" as far as your background or motive for writing this story, either. You refer in the opening to various social problems, but I didn't get the connection with the story's actual contents).
   
   May I suggest getting yourself a suitable image to use for an avatar. If these three samples are any indication, you will have a bright future here.

   replyreport
   1. 64

      MordechaiZoltanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much for your insightful critique. Your suggestions will give me much to think about. As far as "hell" thank you for pointing that out to me. I in know way meant to polarize or religiousize with that comment and gave it no thought-lesson learned.  Being my worst critic and harder on me than anyone else its hard for me to believe that I am able to write. Encouraged by a friend after helping her son to rewrite a paper, I started a few things and ran across huppages. I look forward to reading your hubs and truly appreciate your honesty and critique. Thanks!

      replyreport
3. 73

   myownworldposted 14 years ago

   welcome here...! I just read and commented on your hub!
   Stay with the forums, read and comment on other's hubs, backlink, and continue writing original content. And yes, it helps to have an avatar! Best of luck with everything!

   replyreport
   1. 64

      MordechaiZoltanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you! I am going to check out what Avatar is and get some good images. Thank you!

      replyreport
4. 61

   horsecrazyheidiposted 14 years ago

   You are a wonderful writer so much better thenI could ever dream to be can't wait to read more from you. wonderful job

   replyreport
   1. 64

      MordechaiZoltanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much! I have alot of free time and have been spending hours writing out nonsense. I also purchased a book called writing fiction from the Gotham Writing School in NYC which has some great suggestions. Thank you!

      replyreport