Detailed feedback sought

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  1. dipless profile image80
    diplessposted 6 years ago

    I have been around a little while, although I am only now really looking into freelance writing, I'm starting my own websites and lot's of other things which all require content.

    Now I know that my writing isn't the best it's probably too conversational etc. So what I am looking for is some VERY detailed feedback on writing style, grammar, sentence structure, content against title etc.

    Please feel free to be as critical as you like I need to learn to be a more accomplished writer.

    Thank you for your time and any feedback and assistance you can give me.

    My three latest are they are all contrasting styles: … ving-Rooms … -favourite

  2. dipless profile image80
    diplessposted 6 years ago

    Please? I really do want to improve as a writer and I would value any critique you can give me.

  3. WryLilt profile image91
    WryLiltposted 6 years ago

    (This only applies to the first hub listed.)

    -Make the introduction longer so that your first Adsense block will appear there, increasing the chance of clicks.
    -Remove or replace the word introduction - it looks like a high school essay, not a professional article.
    -Remove "Seeing a very poor hub on the subject has spurred me on to write a better one." Traffic from Google is unlikely to care and you want to get a good and interesting few sentences in first up to maintain reader attention.

    Otherwise I don't see any major issues. Have you done keyword research for the hub? It seems like it would be a saturated topic with many authority articles already written about it.

    1. dipless profile image80
      diplessposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Wrylilt, thank you for taking the time to comment.

      That is some good advice,

      -Thank you i always forget about ensuring the adverts appear above the fold, I will keep that in mind for future and go back over some of my other hubs.
      - I have a habit of putting overview or introduction, I will go through and remove those from my other articles.
      - This is a good point and has been ommited.

      Thank you, if I'm honest most of my science hubs are written for enjoyment as opposed to being SEO optimised, however I did do some keyword research, which is why I chose Earthquake causes instead of 'What causes earthquakes', 'what are the main causes of Earthquakes', 'causes of earthquakes' as these had many more searches and more completion. I always do keyword research on my other articles, just my science ones are more of a passion, however I am finding that as they mature the traffic levels are picking up. For instance my Erwin Schrödinger  is not my 4th biggest traffic driver and that was written without even looking at keywords - but I guess if you throw enough $*%" at the wall something has to stick.

      Thank you again for your feedback it is most appreciated.

      1. WryLilt profile image91
        WryLiltposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Just checking - are you doing keyword research correctly? You may be making two errors:

        You need to take off "broad" search and use "exact" instead. Broad can mean the words earthquake and causes are used anywhere in the search, while exact finds out how many people are typing JUST those two words in that order into Google. The broad search is 90,500 for those keywords and 3,600 for exact.

        Also, where are you getting your competition check from? IGNORE the competition indicator in the keyword tool. That is for advertisers (people who pay to place adverts) NOT writers. In fact a "High" competition score is probably better because it means lots of advertisers want to advertise for those keywords.

        The best way to check competition is use a site like Scroogle or some type of cookie free browser (like chrome incognito) and check out the top ten sites (your only real competition.)
        You can also download a plugin called SEOquake which will tell you the page rank and other info about each site.
        Try and avoid going for keywords where the exact keywords are in a domain name (there is already a site called or are a exact title or subtitle match.

        1. dipless profile image80
          diplessposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          Hi WryLilt, yes I am indeed using exact match not broad. I was lead to believe that searches of 400 -1500 are good bets, is this true from your experience too?

          I do normally try and look at the High or medium advertisers competition, with an ok CPC, obviously the higher the better.

          Thank you for the information on the competition, this is something very helpful to me, I have not really thought about looking at competition with the exact keywords in the domain, but I guess this does make a lot of sense. 

          Thank you so much for the links to help check competition of the top ten this really is some helpful information. I am going to download those now and i will try them out for my next article when i'm looking for good titles.

          Thank yo so much for the time you have put into help and guide me this really is appreciated.

          1. WryLilt profile image91
            WryLiltposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Good luck. smile Sounds like you're on the right track. With the number of exact matches, I'd say anything from 1,000-3,500 is a good number (as long as it's not a competitive area.)

            1. dipless profile image80
              diplessposted 6 years agoin reply to this

              Thank you.

  4. WD Curry 111 profile image61
    WD Curry 111posted 6 years ago

    I majored in journalism back in the seventies. Before I finished my four year degree, I had an epiphany and got the courage to pursue what I really wanted . . . art. I have been a professional since 1973 if you count my time working for a sign company and the Circus Hall of Fame while attending college. I write for a fishing magazine, so I only need fifth grade grammar to get by there. I am American, so reali(z)e that I can't help you with your spelling, either.

    Here is the best advice I can give you from my experience.

    My favorite teacher in art school told me,"Never ask another artist what they think about a piece you are working on." The same is true of writers on HubPages. You will be going eight directions instead of down the road.

    In my thirty some years as a professional artist, who has done many works (murals and signs) in the public eye, I have learned this . . . everyone is a critic (they don't know much, but that doesn't stop them) and everyone has a relative who is a REALLY GOOD artist.

    If you want to improve, go to school. If you can't, join a local writer's group that has some successful writers, publishers, or editors. As you bring in your pieces, you will get professional help for free. I guess it is okay to see what the top ten has done, but I wouldn't take more than a glance. Don't worry about the competition, you are not at war. It will only contribute to neurotic anxiety, not success.

    1. dipless profile image80
      diplessposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your input, it is appreciated, I have actually been thinking about joining a local writers group, however most of them really focus on creative writing and that really isn't my bag.

      The advise that Wrylilt gave is great, because good SEO means better traffic which means more readers and more money which is part of the point of publishing your work. Over the last month through reading and asking advice and most importantly acting on that advice I have managed to double my overall traffic and add a 65% increase in Google views which I am very pleased with and that is through listening to others advice.

      I know that my weakest area is my writing, I have never been good at formal English, forming sentences, grammar, spelling and writing in a style which will suit my target audience which is why I am seeking advice from more experienced and more accomplished writers.

      I don't mind getting 8 different view points as I will use what they say and monitor the results that way I will integrate  successful techniques with my own style.

      So any comments or information you have on my actual writing would be most welcome.

      1. WD Curry 111 profile image61
        WD Curry 111posted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Attitude is everything. You are well on your way!

        SEO is just slinging words at the search engine. You don't need a course, read the pamphlet. Spell and grammar check. The group may focus on creative writing, but they will be glad to go over your piece. All writing is creative . . . even tech manuals.

        Here's a tip from my 1970's journalism class. Keep your sentences under 25 words long, and it will be hard to go wrong.

        1. dipless profile image80
          diplessposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks for this.

          Indeed it is but important if you want to get external traffic. Thank you for advise about writers groups i will definitely look into that now. I guess that is a fair point.

          Ok will do, I have a tendency to waffle, so I will bear that in mind.

        2. WryLilt profile image91
          WryLiltposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          Just have to disagree about the "slinging words at the search engines" part. You can rank #1 in Google for "Unimpressed Turtle" but if no one is searching it, it's worthless.

          SEO is about learning that you can get views for EVERYTHING you write, instead of slinging mud at a wall and hoping something sticks. smile

          As a Journalism major, I don't see that as any type of help when writing online, honestly. News sites automatically get pushed to higher results because of the freshest content on authority news reports. It's completely different when writing a normal article which should be EVERGREEN and which is likely to get more views later, than from the initial fresh content bump.

          Agree about the 25 words long though. smile

          1. dipless profile image80
            diplessposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Agreed and i am working on my knowledge of keywords and specifically researching them. I downloaded SEO quake and i can see all the numbers, I know what alexanda rank is and page rank and number of indexed pages but if i'm honest i'm not really sure what makes for a good target, obviously a low PR how does number of indexed pages affect that and are there any other important numbers which need to be looked at.

            I definitely took note on the exact keywords in the URL as i saw a site today with a PR of 0 and 90 indexed pages rank well above a 6 PR authoritative site, and i imagine this was sueto the exact nature of the longtail keyword in the URL.

            I do try and do Evergreen content and I am starting to diversify my subjects, with some, i'm happy to report surprising results.


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