I'd like feedback on my article: Four Poems About Life and Death and Poetry

1. 84

   purpleveilposted 3 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Four Poems About Life and Death and Poetry

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   1. 85

      quotationsposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I think your main issue is one of organization and theme. When I read your title I expected this to be a review of 4 poems about those subjects. I did not expect 4 of your own poems.
      
      There is nothing wrong about creative writing, but the article meanders and lacks a unifying theme, despite your attempt to tie them together. And in fact, even the concept of how this ties them together is unclear. You could for example have made the argument that poetry allows us to express our feelings about life and death, or that it gives us understanding, or something, but if it is in there I didnt see it. So I am left wondering why a poem about poetry paired with ones about life and death. One of these things is not like the others.
      
      At the beginning you introduce a style of poetry with which I was not familiar. That's interesting, but then the article is not about that. You jump into your own poem as an example and really, based on your title, the article is not about that particular style or any given style of poetry but 4 of your poems held together by a fairly tenuous common theme.
      
      You might want to break this up into 4 different submissions, each one for a separate point and give up on trying to make them all fit in the one article.
      
      You also need to improve the layout. It made it difficult to read or follow the article.
      
      Similarly, the photos and links are non sequitors. You need to find things that are more relevant. Pictures of random people reading poetry do not enhance or illustrate your poetry. These would be okay if your article were about poetry readings but it is not. I would suggest visiting a site like pixabay.com and finding images that are more abstract to illustrate the emotions and imagery of your poetry.

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2. 93

   AliciaCposted 3 years ago

   I found your article very puzzling. I love poetry, but I couldn't appreciate yours. You have multiple links interrupting the flow of ideas. The first one consists of a single letter. In addition, the links don't seem relevant. Some go to unrelated pages on this site.
   
   Even the links at the end are not directly related to your poems. I don't see how the videos are related to your ideas, either.
   
   Your photo at the top is a good idea, but who are the people in the other photos and how are they related to your article?
   
   You need to do some major thinking about how to organize your article and what to include in it in order to give people a chance to appreciate your poems.

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3. 96

   celeste inscribedposted 3 years ago

   When I write, I try to stay in one lane. Readers like consistency and everything in your article must fit. One idea must flow into another. Choose a theme. If the poems are about death and life, then at least make them all the same by making them all Tetractys poems for instance. Too many links or videos can be distracting. Good luck.

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