Just looking for feedback on anything I should change about this hub. Not quite happy with it for some reason. Do you think it's too personal? Not personal enough? Should include more information in some part?
Trying to help people who have a tracheostomy and are as confused and new to it as myself and my family were.
Thank you for any feedback.
Really hard to say or suggest any changes for you at this time. Already 'knowing' what one of these medical items were as I had a father who was, lets say a 'regular' at the hospital, and would routinely have a tracheostomy.
I am not sure, maybe a caution before advising viewers to read further, some may find the information disturbing. Guess you will know once feedback starts to come.
Thanks, will see how I go. I already have a warning on my bipolar hub but had thought this one wasn't too graphic. Although from what I've experienced I have a much higher graphic content level than some!
I do as well, can handle a fair bit of graphic, but Google, Ad sense, et al, entirely different story, as you well know.
I write, not many, but a few articles that would consistently be deemed very graphic, but not on HP and not in any connection to any sites I have generating revenue.
I thought this was a really informative and well-written hub.
I wonder if instead of jumping in at the deep end, so to speak, it might be better to move the first paragraph of your last section (the one that begins "I had a tracheostomy due to severe throat trauma at two and a half years of age" and ends with "enlarge the hole as I grew.") so that it becomes your introduction. Then change the first "the tube" in that paragraph to "a tracheostomy tube".
The advantage of doing this (IMO) is that it acts as more of a hook for your reader, because it instantly makes it plain that you're talking from personal experience.
Then change the title of the last section from "My experience with tracheostomy" to something like "Where am I now?"
Only other things I would watch out for are to make sure that "breathe" has an "e" on the end when it's used as a verb.
Wow, Wrylilt. Just wow... I admire you even more now than I did 5 minutes ago. You have been through a LOT.
Jumping in here, I agree with EF about moving the first paragraph, but you still need a good lede--just one sentence--that gets people hooked, and that sentence should be something personal.
It also ends kind of abruptly. Perhaps some advice from personal experience to people who might be going through this? Link to some resources?
Ok thank you for the feedback. Have added both some advice and some resources!
...And it doesn't seem like a lot unless you think about it all in one go.
You have been very clinical and laid the facts bare, I was wondering if You could have added a little more on handling the emotional trauma involved with the procedure.
Having worked in the Neuro center for a while I have noticed that parents and children are extremely fearful of such procedures. Fear of Infections, loss of voice are all constantly facing them.
How you coped with the extra attention, or inability to play like other children and the loss of childhood may serve as a base of knowledge for people facing similar situations.
I think it is well written and would be helpful to people in similar situations.
I am not an experienced , but thought that this may add value to what you have written.
Thanks for the feedback Sofs, but unfortunately I can't. I was very young at the time I got the tracheostomy and following that, it was only a small part of the major issues in my life so I honestly can't think of anything to say from a personal handling viewpoint.
Everything looks just fine to me. I think it is compelling but at the same time clinical. I wouldn't change it.
by John Hansen 22 months ago
I recently revived an email from HP stating that one of my established hubs: http://hubpages.com/art/Learning-to-Dra … Your-Brain was being considered for a move to FeltMagnet. The email said it was high quality and close to being suitable and just suggested a few generic changes (breaking...
by Terrie Lynn 13 months ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Astigmatism And Our Family's Experience.. What can I do to improve? Thanks!
by irmisol 4 years ago
Authors should be free to write about alternative medical treatments that they personally found useful for a minor ailment, but claiming a recipe cures all forms of stage 4 cancer, or any other serious terminal illness, is unethical. Especially if the hub is plugging a book with the same unsound...
by ROY T JAMES 2 years ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Why do we do, what we do? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!
by Susan Sears 12 months ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Quaker Parrots Amazing Pets (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!
by Jackie Lynnley 7 months ago
Hi Hubbers,I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article [url=https://hubpages.com/literature/Jesus-Healed-Them-All]Jesus Healed Them All! - Putting Our Faith in Prayer.[/url]. What can I do to improve? Thanks!
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|