jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (6 posts)

This is funny!

  1. Tom Cornett profile image80
    Tom Cornettposted 7 years ago

    A burglar broke into a house one night           
    He shined his flashlight around,
    looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
        "Jesus knows you're here."
    He nearly jumped out of his skin,
    clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
    When he heard nothing more,
    after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so
    he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
    heard "Jesus is watching you."

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,
    looking for the source of the voice.

    Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
    beam came to rest on a parrot.

    "Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot."

    "Yep", the parrot confessed, then squawked,
    "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."

    The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, HUH!" 
    Who in the world are you ?'

    "Moses," replied the bird.
    "Moses?" the burglar laughed.
    "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

    The parrot replied,

    "The same kind of people that would name a
    Rottweiler "Jesus".'

    1. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 7 years agoin reply to this


  2. alternate poet profile image64
    alternate poetposted 7 years ago

    big_smile  haven't heard that one in ages, glad you reminded me ! big_smile

  3. alternate poet profile image64
    alternate poetposted 7 years ago

    One dark stormy night a guy was lost in the wilderness and then fell off a cliff.  about ten feet down the sheer face he managed to grab a thin root and hanging there swinging in the gale he started screaming for help.  A voice from above said "let go my son and trust in me, I am your god".
    He thought about it for a second then screamed "Is anyone else up there!"

    1. Tom Cornett profile image80
      Tom Cornettposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      LOL....that is funny!  smile

  4. Diane Inside profile image80
    Diane Insideposted 7 years ago

    Two ladies were walking down by a pond. When they heard this little voice, " Hey down here! "  The ladies saw a frog sitting there on the bank. The frog spoke " I am a baptist minister, if you kiss me, I will be freed from this body.

    So one of the ladies picked up the frog and put it in her purse.  The other lady said " Didn't you hear what he said, if you kiss him he will be freed."

    The first lady said, " Yes but baptist preachers are a dime dozen, But a talking frog..."