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how can i improve my presentation...

  1. sumitparihar profile image36
    sumitpariharposted 7 years ago

    I want  to make my hubs more informative ...
    Is the lenght of the hub is ok or i need do something more...

    1. kschang profile image89
      kschangposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Some general comments

      1) There are many diction problems and missing commas. For example:

      "Doing exercise daily you will be energetic happy and it will reflect on your face and that’s important."

      That is ungrammatical, as this is basically FOUR separate sentences improperly linked together with two "ands". It should be:

      "if you exercise daily, you will be happier and more energetic."

      There is no need to say "reflect on your face" (it's not light) and no need to say "it's important".

      There is also a missing comma between energetic and happy.

      2) There are many more problems with diction and sentence structures, and even typographical errors. Example:

      "Health is very important for you to look yourself as,as you dreamed off."

      It's "dream of", not "dream off"

      "yourself" and so on are redundant. It should be

      "Health is very important for you to look as you dream of"

      And even then it's not proper diction. A better way to put it would be

      "Health is very important for you to look your best"

      You have plenty of missing commas, run-on sentences, and other grammatical errors in the rest of your hub.

      3) The overall presentation is okay, but the Amazon links needs to go, in my opinion. Some choice books on how to frugally achieve "style" or some simple fitness tips and some self-help books may be a better fit than clothing and cosmetic accessories.

      Such are my opinions. smile

  2. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 7 years ago

    While it is true that you are allowed to post links to your hubs here, it is not acceptable for you to post a self-serving link including your URL tracker.

    Please anyone, do not click on that link.

  3. Darrke Thoughts profile image60
    Darrke Thoughtsposted 7 years ago

    You can also view the hub in question from her profile page...

    The length looks fine to me.  It seems long enough to cover your subject matter, but not so long to make it boring.  You also have good layout with the bold headers to make scanning easier for your readers.  I liked that.

  4. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 7 years ago

    The affiliate link has been replaced with a regular one, which is a good thing.