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Thank you in advance for taking a look at my hubs. I wrote several hubs about 6 weeks ago and have gotten consistent (not huge) search engine traffic but low view duration. Before I go forward I want to figure out what I am doing wrong. Any help would be greatly appreciated-brutal and constructive please!
http://hubpages.com/hub/Black-and-White … chen-Today
http://hubpages.com/hub/Buy-Black-and-W … ows-Online
I'm sorry, but when I first started reading the first article the first thing I thought of was that you were using some type of article writer, since you may not know what to say about it yourself.
The article is actually to sell products that you may or may not have used before. With article writing to sell a product, it helps to have already used it. That way you can show the pros and cons of the product. As far as using the items for decor, you could have said something about how your neighbors liked it.
Other than that, unless someone really likes damask, or wants to buy it, they are not really going to stay and read the article.
Thank you for the comments. No need to be sorry-I wanted to hear exactly what people thought. Your point is well taken. I don't use any software but I think you are very correct in commenting that the writing just does not flow well. I avoided using personal accounts which I will now rethink.
Thanks for your time and your comments.
I say sorry too much sometimes. There is one more thing to think about. Why are you writing the hubs? Do you want people to read what you wrote, or do you want them to click off the site and buy the items from Amazon?
Maybe you shouldn't worry so much about how long they stay, but more about getting them to the hubs in the first place. I think your main goal is for the people to buy the products, or at least click on the adsense ads.
Also, many people do not know what damask is. I'm getting the feeling it is a black and white pattern. Is it a particular pattern, does it just need to be black and white, or what. Maybe you can reword the top a little to let people know more in layman's terms what damask is. Also, why and how damask will add elegance and glamor to your kitchen, bedroom, wardrobe, and etc. I'm thinking many people can't see how stark black and white can add anything to their colorful room.
Good point about deciding what I want people to do-read all the way down or click on amazon? I guess since I am new to writing product hubs I am not sure. My thinking was that if they are not staying on very long it means that somehow my hub did not meet their need and they would not click (they have not been buying anything).
I am planning to first really look t the writing. Take all of the kind advice and then I will try to learn some more about the whole idea of hubbing to sell.
Thanks again for your comments-most helpful.
I think both of your hubs look great. Did you check the Keywords in the Stats section on each hub to see what searches are bringing in traffic?
Maybe someone who writes a lot of products hubs can give you more insight. Sometimes there isn't a clear answer as to why, but I think you're headed in the right direction.
Thanks rebekahELLE for taking a look and for your kind words. The hubs are bringing in steady search engine traffic. Perhaps in the furture I will find better keywords but I want to maximize the consistent traffic these are getting by keeping readers around a bit longer.
Thanks for the encouragement. I am certainly going to keep at it. I appreciate your time.
I would say that in both hubs there is way too much repetition of "black and white" and "black and white damask." It reads very stilted, and I think it may be a result of trying to jam too many instances of your key words in there.
You don't need to use your key words THAT much.
That said, you do have a good start. What I recommend, is that you go back through and try to make it a bit more of a story. I'm not saying rewrite them, but look through them for places that you can humanize the text, that you can add a bit more description instead of just flat statements.
For example, your opening line in one of them states, "Black and white is a sophisticated color combination." Which is fine, but what does that mean? To you that might be perfectly clear, but to me, it doesn't create any kind of tangible meaning. It's a claim with no evidence. So give some. Maybe like, "Black and white is a sophisticated color combination. It brings to mind images of checkerboard floors in the mansions of the rich, or perhaps of white painted faces emoting against the pitch black backdrop of an artsy play."
I realize that's not amazing, but you get the point. If you want readers to stay with you all the way to the end, you have to take them on a journey through something that activates their senses: sense of time, physicality, and place. You have to tell them a story.
Anyway, that's my two cents on it. Go back through and find where you make claims, and then support them with sensory evidence. (Including explaining what damask is; I still have no idea). You don't have to make a novel out of those hubs, just soften them up with something genuine. Something of you.
Here's what I think, and by the way, Shadesbreath is giving you some good advice if you want people to stay with your article.
Firstly, I am very impressed with the way you've searched Amazon and found and assembled all of these products. For one hub I read, the length of the article is very good and will help with search engine traffic.
Here is another hubber's hub, which I could recommend for its opening description. It really gets your attention:
Other than that, since you're promoting decorative objects, you don't have to have owned any of them to be descriptive. If you don't have any of these objects, you could go to a department store or an interior design studio, look around, touch similar fabrics, and use what you see for inspiration in creating good descriptive phrases. Obviously, it's not going to be difficult to find good examples of black and white damask decor, based on what's available to buy on Amazon.
Useful advice from Shades, as always.
A couple of things about your first paragraph - the sentences are far too short and choppy, which can drive people away. This is where you can take a lesson from fiction writers.
If you read a good story, you will notice that writers tend to use short, chopped sentences for action scenes, such as the hero of the story fleeing from the gun-toting bad guys. On the other side of the coin, if they are describing a lovely evening in Venice, they use longer, flowing sentences, with a little more description.
The other problem is that the paragraph has no aim - a tip for sales writing is to use the age-old marketer's adage.
Identify a problem: Provide a solution
In your first paragraph, you skipped right past the first part. Tell the reader why they need a new kitchen theme - I rushed this one off quickly, so I apologise for any cliches
The kitchen is the heart of the home, a place for the family to enjoy breakfast or sit down for a long, relaxing evening meal. The kitchen should be warm and welcoming, with interior decor that shows a little of your personality and highlights the pride that you take in your home.
If your shabby, mismatched kitchen could benefit from a theme that blends contemporary sophistication with timeless appeal, black and white damask is the perfect choice.
In that first paragraph, you implied that their kitchen looks like dogshite and, if they don't go for a black and white damask theme, their family will hate them. They should read on, to avoid becoming a pariah.
As for the personal touch - it went a little out of fashion, maybe due to the proliferation of crappy squeeze pages with the story of how some bloke called Wayne had his life changed by discovering water4gas. It does now seem to be making a comeback and is something that I have started experimenting with
You can write, so a few tweaks should make all of the difference.
Best of luck!
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