A duck walks into a pub and orders a beer and a ham sandwich. The barman
looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "now can I have my beer
and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get
many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.
Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.
This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The
ringmaster of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him,
"You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just
brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, "get him to give me a call".
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey
Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good
"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus," says the barman.
"The circus?" the duck enquires.
"That's right," replies the barman.
"The circus?" the duck asks again.
"Yes." says the barman
"That place with the big tent?" the duck enquires.
"Yeah," the barman replies.
"With all the animals?" the duck questioned.
"Of course" the barman replies.
"With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck looks confused.
"What the f**k would they want with a plasterer?"
by nicomp really 8 years ago
A traveling salesman, a clown, a horse, and a midget walk into a bar...The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
by Martin Heeremans 3 years ago
I know everyone has that one hilarious joke they use which will always get a good laugh out of everyone in the local vicinity.I'll start.A new Commander is sent to take over a command of a post in a remote location.On his entrance he spots a donkey tied to a rope behind the barracks. Unsure as to...
by lizzieBoo 7 years ago
The old ones are the best ones: get joking!
by accofranco 9 years ago
I was treking down the street with my five year old kid brother,so i stopped by an ice cream spot to get him a cup of ice cream because he loves it,turning back to hand him over the cup of ice cream i bought but i couldn't see him,i was scared he has gone missing so i tried to alert the ice cream...
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