My new hub

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  1. mareezy13 profile image60
    mareezy13posted 7 years ago

    Today I posted a hub regarding having a baby.  Was looking for some constructive criticism.  Please offer any suggestions to help me better my writing.

  2. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 7 years ago

    First off, you write well, and seem to have a solid grasp of the topic. A few issues:

    - Your writing style is somewhat "chatty." It takes awhile for you to get to the point; this reads like an essay. On the Internet, if people come for concrete information and specific suggestions, they will not be able to easily find them in your article. So this is for patient readers, not the typical Internet reader;

    - You sometimes use unnecessary qualifiers, like "...she said she would be forever grateful." We had already heard that you and she have been talking, so it should suffice to say that "...she would be forever grateful." Too much redundant text takes the sharpness out of your article;

    - Be aware of the grammar issues, like the difference between "she" and "her" ("her and her husband" should be "she and her husband") as well as redundancies like 100% completely.

    - You have a large space after your first paragraph, see screenshot.

    1. mareezy13 profile image60
      mareezy13posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your feedback.
      I will look over what I wrote and try to make it an easier read.  I am unsure why I have such a large space in my article.  I tried to play around with the edit button, unfortunately I could not figure it out.
      I appreciate your honesty.

  3. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 7 years ago

    You are welcome. About the space, if you bring the paragraphs completely together, as if they were part of the same paragraph, then separate them again, chances are that things will fall into place. I personally found your article enjoyable.


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