Husband-training camp:

1. 83

   habeeposted 13 years ago

   Hi, girls. Having trouble with your husband? Send him to me! For a small fee, I can fix your problem. I was able to turn a womaninizing, hard-drinking, self-centered partier into the perfect husband. I can do it for you, too! For a nominal fee and a short stay at the Holle Abee Husband Training Camp, your spouse will return to you a changed man. In the rare event that he's un-trainable, castration might be the only option. Either way, he'll certainly be a changed man!

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   optimus grimlockposted 13 years ago

   thats funny!!!!! You should get tons of apps for this.

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3. 76

   Uninvited Writerposted 13 years ago

   

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   1. 83

      habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      UW, I was inspired by your post on the other thread!

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4. 69

   emievilposted 13 years ago

   

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5. 88

   TheMagicianposted 13 years ago

   Do you fix boyfriends, too?
   Mine just got through watching Benny & Joon, and now he can't stop ironing grilling cheese sandwiches.
   
   

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   1. 83

      habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sure! Boyfriends, lovers, fiancees - none are immune to the ways of Mistress Holle!

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6. 85

   Nell Roseposted 13 years ago

   

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7. 78

   wildernessposted 13 years ago

   I was actually considering signing myself up (it never hurts to understand how the enemy thinks!).  Until I got to the end of the post.
   
   I ain't coming!  Uh uh!  No way!

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8. 60

   MelissaBarrettposted 13 years ago

   LMAO!  Can I send my ex-husband too?  I still have to deal with him on a regular basis... and the way I see it either he becomes easier to deal with or is castrated... I don't see a downside.

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      Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'd just straight opt for the castration. Works wonders with dogs. they become much easier to work with.

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      1. 78

         wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         You ladies are beginning to scare me.  I had no idea the Lorena Bobbitt syndrome was so prevalent!

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            MelissaBarrettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I think I mentioned this before, but I have a framed picture of her on our nightstand.  It's been mentioned (in completely non-threatening terms) to the new husband that I have both legal and medical skills.... and a completely blank criminal history.

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               wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               All I can say is I'm glad Idaho is a long way from W Virginia.  Glad I moved from Virginia long ago, too!

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               1. 83

                  habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Wildman, please understand that the knife is used only as a last resort - usually for Neanderthal types. I'm sure you'd be fine! I could teach you how to cook, southern style.

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                     MelissaBarrettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Hell habee, if you teach southern cooking I'll be right there.  With my particular preferences, I could conceivably fall under the "husband" label someday (not likely but possible)...  and I don't have to worry about the punishment for failing the course.

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                  2. 78

                     wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Neanderthal types yet!  I thought they were all home-grown down south in the bayous - not up here in the civilized north.
                     
                     And I have to say that you ladies just seem all to eager for that "last resort" thingie.  Just way too eager!
                     
                     Add in that I don't like grits or chitlins and I think that I'll just stay home, thank you very much.

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                     1. 83

                        habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        Grits and chilins?? What about buttermilk biscuits, peach pie, fried chicken, country fried steak, and the best BBQ you've ever eaten?

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            Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            We're just practical Wilderness, honestly!

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         3. 59

            Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            We're just practical Wilderness, honestly!

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            1. 78

               wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               People that repeat themselves to make a point are usually dishonest about the whole thing. 
               
               I begin to doubt that your training will teach us how to keep our women-folk barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.  In fact, I doubt that it is in the curriculum at all!

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               1. 59

                  Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  You betch ya! I will try to say this only once.

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      2. 60

         MelissaBarrettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I can't do it myself Hollie... I vowed never to go near that area of his anatomy again.
         
         I would be willing to pay Habee hazard pay though for the actual procedure though .

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         1. 59

            Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Habee's the woman. We'll soon sort this disagreeable little man out. Gloves...clamps.... Scalpel...Problem solved.

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9. 60

   MelissaBarrettposted 13 years ago

   

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10. 83

    habeeposted 13 years ago

    Guys, I just wrote and published a hub about this!

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       mary615posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It's a great Hub, too!  I don't know how you can think of and publish a Hub that fast.  He really inspired you to start writing, didn't he??  He got a lot of us thinking....

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          habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks, Mary. I can write a hub in just a few minutes if I don't have to do any research.

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             mary615posted 13 years agoin reply to this

             You're good, girl!

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             1. 83

                habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Thanks, Sis!

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    Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years ago

    I think I'm already a pretty good husband, but being disciplined by you is still something I'd be interested in.
    
    Do you offer group rates?
    
    (Oh God, now I get to hit the "submit" button.)

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    1. 83

       habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Ron, I'd give you a special rate. Are you REALLY ready to submit??

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          Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Yes, but I'll have to check with my wife first.

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             habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Good boy! I can tell you'll be an easy pupil.

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                Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Habee, now I'm frightened. Your last post has had me visualizing you in thigh high boots, and sporting a lash.

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                   habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Have you been pilfering through my closet??

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                   Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Me too.
                   
                   I need some alone time now.

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    thirdmilleniumposted 13 years ago

    Hi Habee
    
    Good for you. The fact that your husband let you write it as it is says something for your persuasive powers.
    
    Did you have to use scalpels and scissors to tame him besides the persuasive powers?

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    1. 83

       habeeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       No weapons were needed!

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