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I need need some feedback, please!

  1. alanfish91 profile image85
    alanfish91posted 5 years ago

    I have written 5 hubs so far, and they all start with the exact same phrase. "I am going to show you how to..." This was unintentional. Is that bad writing? Should I change the beginning of my hubs? I really need some feedback. Haha

    1. John Holden profile image61
      John Holdenposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Alan, there is the alternative thought that it is a form of signature,you know, even if somebody hasn't really noticed the writer before but got good info off a hub starting "I am going to show you . . "

      BTW you're is you are,don't you mean "your"?

  2. SmartAndFun profile image97
    SmartAndFunposted 5 years ago

    Hi Alan, I took a quick look at your Toyota Carolla hub and am impressed by your knowledge and how thorough your instructions are. I love that your instructions are conversational and you added little bits of advice that a friend or brother might give me. I think your hubs could have even me changing my own oil. If you knew me, you'd know that would be something pretty amazing. I don't even know how to start the lawn mower.

    I think your photos are great, too, and the arrows are a great idea and very useful.

    IMHO, there's nothing really wrong about starting your hubs with "I am going to show you how to..." but there's nothing super fabulous about it, either. If you don't want to start off with the same basic phrase for each hub, maybe you could instead start off with a short bit to introduce the car and the job. For example, something like "Toyota Carollas are reknowned for their reliability, but even the toughest engines need regular maintenance. Changing the oil every (you'll have to fill in the blank) miles is important, because it (again, you'll have fill in the blank, LOL). If it's time to change the oil in your Carolla, follow these instructions and you'll have the job done in about an hour (or however long)."

    Then, if you want you can launch into "First, find the blah blah blah located just under the etc.etc.etc." and you are on your way.

    Hope that helps, and I hope others will chime in with their ideas, also.

    1. alanfish91 profile image85
      alanfish91posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Wow! Thank you very much. That was a great response, much more helpful than I was expecting. Haha. I appreciate all the feedback, I'll consider different ways I can start my hubs. smile Thanks again!