Lower Learning - Curriculum for Today's Adults

It's all too common we read about a parent or coach attacking another parent or coach at a little league or high school sporting event. Or maybe it's soccer moms squaring off and beating the crap out of each other while the little ones they're defending watch from a distance.

Not long ago I read about a police officer's jaw being dislocated after getting sucker punched by a parent at a high school soccer match. I started thinking we should all go back to school. Not for English or Math (although I could use that too), but for living in a civilized society. I've put together this semester's curriculum.

The classes listed below will provide today's adults with the skills they need to function in a civilised society and better treat there fellow human beings.

CS101 Manners - Course presents adult with building blocks in order for them to treat other humans with courtesy and respect in day to day life. Major components include key words such as please and thank you. Lecture 3 hours per week.

CS110 Human Decency- Instructs adults on a fundamental norms of basic humanitarian decency. Adults will study principle aspects of dignity and regard for fellow human beings. Lecture 3 hours per week.

CS110 Dressing in Public - Introduces adult to proper attire for different situations and environments. Emphasizes why wearing a wife beater and/or slippers in public is not acceptable. Importance of covering bulging body parts and appropriate sizing also included.

CS120 Advanced Communication - Further Develops adult in day to day conversation. Advances adult from series of grunts to effectively communicating with fellow human beings. Prerequisite: CS101

FP101 Budgeting Covers the fundamentals of buying what one can afford. Adult will study theory of saving and investing as well as interest rates.

FP110 Living within ones means - Further studies aspects of budgeting with radical idea of living expenses in relation to earnings. Prerequisite: FP101 *This class is not sponsored by the US Government.

DR110 Signals - Provides fundamental knowledge of using the signal lever. Familiarizes adult with using signals before turning and signaling before braking.

DR120 Merging - Explores concept of smoothly entering traffic flow instead of coming to a complete stop or pulling out in front of oncoming traffic. Prerequisite: DR110

DR125 Parking Studies the principles of parking within the lines of parking lots. Also explores concept of parking courtesy and handicapped parking rules. Lecture 3 hours per week.

CFE101 - Public Use - Focuses on appropriate times to use a cell phone when in public. How to change device to vibrate in certain settings. How to turn cell phone off. Also covers concept of speaking at a normal level when in public. Lecture 4 hours per week.

CFE110 Ring Tones- Examines ring tone use in relation to age. Introduces concept of being too old for certain ring tones and why subject should be embarrassed. Lecture 3 Hours per week.

CFE125 Driving while on Cell Phone - Integrates driving course with cell phone use. Introduces adult to notion of answering cell phone at later time. Lecture 4 hours per week.

Well I think this gives us a good start to our inaugural school year, we will be adding classes in the future as they fill up. I think most of us can benefit from these simple classes. With a little hard work and studying I think it will be a great success!! Well, off to class!