My 13 year old daughter asked how old I was when I had sex. How honest should I

1. 52

   3 Girlsposted 15 years ago

   My 13 year old daughter asked how old I was when I had sex. How honest should I be with her?

   replyreport
2. 0

   roddmaposted 15 years ago

   Oh my I dont know never had a kid Let her know thats a very personal question and why she wants to know.I wouldnt give thm too many details if a 13 year old asked me. Tehn say situations are diffrent for everyone and because whether you did something or notisnt implying to copy. Best answer I can give.

   replyreport
3. 70

   Quilligrapherposted 15 years ago

   I think, 3G, that I would first ask myself,"How honest do I want her to be with me."
   
   I believe that honesty and truthfulness are learned traits that are best taught by a parent.  If I destroy my credibility with my child, I may never get it back.
   
   In my case, I would answer truthfully and not offer any more information then necessary to satisfy her curiosity.
   
   Good luck.
   Q

   replyreport
4. 61

   JaeKuroposted 15 years ago

   I agree with Quilligrapher, how honest do you want her to be. The question is something that's obviously going to lead to another conversation involving sex, weather she has had it or not.
   My advice would be to honestly tell her the answer and CALMLY ask why she is asking. A mistake that many parents make is jumping to a conclusion because of a topic thus, pushing their child away from asking their advice on further issues in life. Be happy that she has even brought it up, most teenagers are too scared to (I know I was).
   Being honest is the best way to face this because honesty opens a door of trust. Of course don't go into too much detail and remember to state that it's not something she should be worrying about at such a young age. Explain the issues and emotions that come along with engaging in intercourse and make sure she understands. Try to be calm and straight forward about what you are saying and try not to lose your authority as a parent by opening up to her. Don't try to become the "friend" but don't be too overbearing either.
   Hope it goes well.

   replyreport
5. 53

   Girl_10posted 14 years ago

   Welll, My mom never told me when i asked her the same question. But when my mom was younger than me like 13, she was raped.. She told me that. But from my point of view as a teen, i think your daughter deserves to know. So she can learn from it. But make sure to tell her, that its not right to start out early, and to at least wait till she's found the right guy.(All that good stuff)

   replyreport
6. 77

   Springboardposted 14 years ago

   You should be totally honest with her. The age at which you had sex for the first time is not the important aspect of the answer. Your experience is at the heart. If you can describe how it made you feel, how you may have regretted the choice you made, and how it affected relationships with other mates in the future, peers, and even your parents, you can convey much more beyond just the age at which you first had sex.
   
   It does not, by any means, mean you will stop your daughter from making a choice that may or may not disagree with your best wishes anymore than watching your parent die of lung cancer may cause you to immediately quit smoking. But it will at least give her something to think about. That's the best you can do.
   
   The worst thing you can do is lie. Lies never help anyone.

   replyreport