Did you ever thought of committing suicide or even tried to commit?
I did when I was about 17, and ended up very sick as a result, (never again). I wrote a hub about it a couple of years back called "Do you really want to commit suicide" if you want to track it down here on hubpages. Can't honestly say the thought hasn't occurred to me again since, but thesedays I am more mature and tend to battle on rather than take the easy route.
The only real attempt was Sun/Mon (4am - still up from previous "day") Nov 7/8, 1994. I was in college. I was at a critical pressure point with something majorly important due in 4 hours - and facing defeat to the disabilities I hadn't really begun to understand, and the emotional wreckage of a lifetime of failures and criticism - I was yelling and swearing at God and crying and...
Anyway, after several dozen "hesitation cuts" on each arm, I gave up, swore at God some more - and took a walk outside to...anywhere. I remember thinking specifically, but in complete doubt, that I could walk the bridge to North Campus over the Merrimack River...
But I knew by that time that that plan/option was folly. At the "go" point (mentioned above), I couldn't, pardon what is only pun by metaphoric happenstance..."pull the trigger".
The slightly morbid thing is that I find the option of suicide to be calming or stress-reducing in times of great pressure. Kinda like "@!#$!% holy ....I CANT TAKE anymore! When/how is this all gonna stop! How can I take control?! What do I do first? I'm losing iittt!!!....Oh, well.....(pulse starts to slow from frantic to getting back to almost normal)....I can always just...(make the final escape)".
Weird to some perhaps. Happy thing is that I'm on meds and seeing (now again, after several failed attempts and certain life/insurance/financial changes that screwed with THAT even - talk about meta!) a therapist with whom I'm so far over-the-moon pleased.
by mommyneal6 2 years ago
Have you ever thought about committing suicide?
by Clive Williams 13 months ago
Have you ever thought of committing suicide?
by Chitrangada Sharan 12 months ago
Committing suicide is an act of cowardice---Do you agree?
by Susan Reid 7 years ago
Is it just me, or is this trend bizarre and suspicious?
by SarahJG 7 years ago
Suicide - can you sympathise or is this the epitome of selfishness?Do you find yourself with the ability to understand why some choose to go down this road or do you believe they are merely only interested in their own needs and discourage those feelings of their close family/friends, who have to...
by Daniel J. Neumann 7 years ago
Why are so many American troops committing suicide?With all due respect to the men who serve to protect us, what's happening? Does anyone care? This is the longest war in US history... and it's ugly.
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|