Did you ever thought of committing suicide or even tried to commit?

1. 68

   Valeedposted 13 years ago

   Did you ever thought of committing suicide or even tried to commit?

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2. 89

   mistyhorizon2003posted 13 years ago

   I did when I was about 17, and ended up very sick as a result, (never again). I wrote a hub about it a couple of years back called "Do you really want to commit suicide" if you want to track it down here on hubpages. Can't honestly say the thought hasn't occurred to me again since, but thesedays I am more mature and tend to battle on rather than take the easy route.

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3. 72

   stanwshuraposted 13 years ago

   The only real attempt was Sun/Mon (4am - still up from previous "day") Nov 7/8, 1994.  I was in college.  I was at a critical pressure point with something majorly important due in 4 hours - and facing defeat to the disabilities I hadn't really begun to understand, and the emotional wreckage of a lifetime of failures and criticism - I was yelling and swearing at God and crying and...
   
   Anyway, after several dozen "hesitation cuts" on each arm, I gave up, swore at God some more - and took a walk outside to...anywhere.  I remember thinking specifically, but in complete doubt, that I could walk the bridge to North Campus over the Merrimack River...
   
   But I knew by that time that that plan/option was folly.  At the "go" point (mentioned above), I couldn't, pardon what is only pun by metaphoric happenstance..."pull the trigger".
   
   The slightly morbid thing is that I find the option of suicide to be calming or stress-reducing in times of great pressure.  Kinda like "@!#$!%  holy ....I CANT TAKE anymore!  When/how is this all gonna stop!  How can I take control?!  What do I do first?  I'm losing iittt!!!....Oh, well.....(pulse starts to slow from frantic to getting back to almost normal)....I can always just...(make the final escape)".
   
   Weird to some perhaps.  Happy thing is that I'm on meds and seeing (now again, after several failed attempts and certain life/insurance/financial changes that screwed with THAT even - talk about meta!) a therapist with whom I'm so far over-the-moon pleased.

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