Abused And Neglected...I need your story.

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (11 posts)
  1. caravalhophoto profile image57
    caravalhophotoposted 8 years ago

    Hello everyone...yes this is a very tough and painful subject and unfortunately our pain will not stop with us.  After reading a a hub "Outrage, 2 more girls  taken", I of course became outraged.  The outcome of 1 of the little girls has at that time been determined and she is know with a higher power.

    My response to this hub is as follows as that of Flightkeeper's:

    caravalhophoto wrote:
    What is hard for people to grasp is even with the "castration" done, the offender will still offend.  It is sexual, however it is not the sex that drives this scum to do what they do.  It is "power", the power over an innocent, whether it be a child, young adult or senior citizen

    My suggestion: Put them in an old shed, sit them down, nail their dick to a log, give them a dull knife and start the shed on fire.  If they are able to get out with 1/2 a dick...shoot them between the eyes.

    I was a molested and neglected child...I kept my child safe because of the hatred I have for those people, I knew their tricks and I made sure my children where knowledgeable.

    Carvalho, if it's not too painful, perhaps you should write a hub about how to spot molesters and predators.  I think a lot of people would find that helpful.

    I have decided to take Flightkeepers advice and with the help of other survivors, I believe we can save a life or two.  Please send me your stories, thoughts, photos, ideas..I want to show how these people look, what they make you feel like, real.  I am so naive, I am finding it hard to believe women have become perpetrators...unbelievable!

  2. profile image0
    Maximus591posted 8 years ago

    You appear to have cast yourself in the role of victim and are attempting to illicit other victimsed posts in order to make yourself feel better.

    This serves no purpose.

    If you need to vent, then vent elsewhere or seek expert professional help.

    Abuse (not just sexual) is a very complex dynamic. Your post is just simply 'your internal put upon and needy child' seeking to express it's pain. Nothing wrong with that... but you have to be careful not to go so far as to create a 'them' and 'us' scenario. This won't help you or the abusers.

  3. caravalhophoto profile image57
    caravalhophotoposted 8 years ago

    I see what your saying and that most definitely was not my intent.  I was a victim as a child but no longer look at myself as a victim but as a survivor. 

    My intent was to be able to get a group of writers who have survived the pain of childhood abuse and neglect to be able to help another see how the perpetrator sees his/her victim.

    I apologize if my post sounded callus to anyone, again not my intent.

    1. profile image0
      Maximus591posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      But even so, your actions still stem from the hurt child within you. You're attempting to make the perpetrator see things from your persepective, to see your pain. I believe there is an assumption in you that thinks 'If I could make the bad guy see how I feel and make him feel responsible for the way he behaved then perhaps he wouldn't be so bad afterall' This is a very simplistic assumption... but is there a part of you that is thinking that?

      Do remember, a perpertrator of abuse might not be thinking what you're thinking. His/her agenda may be quite different to yours. For every person you feel you may be able to reach and shame for what they did, there will be others who won't care. Who don't carry remorse and who believe they did nothing wrong. I think you're fighting a losing battle here.

      Perhaps you need to focus on YOU. Focus on the things you can change about yourself and worry less about those who abused you.

    2. ledefensetech profile image70
      ledefensetechposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It won't happen.  Perpetrators don't see their victims as people, they're just things.  Fact it, if your abuser saw you as a person, they would not have been able to abuse you.

      It does sound like you want to do something to help.  So help by telling people how your abuse happened.  How were you manipulated?  What techniques did your abuser use to keep you under their thumb?  Get the information out there, you never know, some kid might stumble across it, recognize it and do something to protect themselves. 

      You may not be able to change the past, but you might be able to make a difference in someone's future.  Surely that is a goal worth pursuing.

  4. profile image58
    Rosa Bergerposted 8 years ago

    I think child abuse and molestation have plenty of roots, all of which have actually covered in scientific studies over and over again.

    What always astounds me is that some children make it through an abusive childhood and turn into relatively normal adults, while others become offenders themselves. Hence, I think a related question to the one asked - how to recognize perpetrators - is how to survive such trauma. Maybe those who respond to your request could add their thoughts on that, too.

    1. caravalhophoto profile image57
      caravalhophotoposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely agree, I get very upset when people use their pasts in a defense, but again like you stated, some people it over such a trauma differently and advise on how they survived such trauma can only be helpful.

  5. sannyasinman profile image59
    sannyasinmanposted 8 years ago

    This is a complex and emotive subject, and I don't think that Hubpages is the right vehicle to elicit other people's personal experiences in this domain.
    If you choose to relate your personal experiences because you think it will help you, or others, then that is your privilege.
    However, a more appropriate medium, and one chosen by many, is personal or group psychotherapy.
    I don't think that child molestors "look" a certain way. There have been many books and films dealing with this subject, and apparently most are "normal" in other respects.
    Also, castration or worse is not the solution. Most abusers were victims of abuse themselves, it's a vicious circle, and they deserve our help rather than hatred. This in no way condones their behaviour, but we should condemn the behaviour and not the person. Until we can find a way to help the abused, there will never be an end to abuse.     
    Hope this helps?

  6. profile image0
    lynnechandlerposted 8 years ago

    Cara, maybe you could just put together a hub without the personal experience part. I think what max and san are saying here is you are going about this the wrong way. My story could not be conveyed through you to its fullest potential to make others understand and it is going to be onesided.

    The abuser has their own mind and you were the victim so you can't possibly understand what was going through their head.

    Take what happened to you and turn it into a preventative line of defense. Do your research to learn what predators seek as a hunting ground, what they look for in an opportunity, and turn that into the hub not the personal experiences of others.

    Use what you learned about your own situation to help foster self-preservation in these situations.

  7. Sexy jonty profile image53
    Sexy jontyposted 8 years ago

    think positive ...... and leave away the negative thoughts .......

  8. akirchner profile image95
    akirchnerposted 8 years ago

    I've discovered quite personally - it is all about the individual. I was physically abused until age 13 - repeatedly and exposed to way more than any child should ever be exposed to.  I was a walking wounded to be honest through high school but somehow I consciously decided "I need more than this - I can do better than this".  However, when I married at the ripe old age of 21, I went to a counselor because I knew that there needed to be something inside me that COULD perpetuate this abuse cycle (good people do very bad things).  That helped immensely.  I will say that hands down I'm a great, well adjusted person - but I will always have "quirks".  It is not something that you can forget - you can forgive but the forgetting is the hard part.  I plan to do some hubs in the future on it - I never seem to run out of things to "say"!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)