When does a slap become abuse?
I understand that no one should be abused but I believe in today's society, everyone is quick to categorize events into lifestyles. If a husband is subjected to physical and emotional abuse by his wife, he is expected to stand there and take it because if he hits her to defend himself then the wife claims that he abused her. So if a man defends himself by slapping the wife as she is physically attacking him, if she an abused wife?
I believe the law should allow -anyone- to defend themselves against -any- physical assault, regardless of who they are. When it does not, they're essentially telling people they must become victims.
"Emotional abuse"- no, that's entirely different.
Not only can a person simply walk away, there's too much leeway in what anyone would call 'emotional abuse.'
Personally I was brought up with the "If anyone hits you then hit them back!" In my opinion a slap, kick, scratch, or having something thrown at you with the intention of hurting you is abuse. It doesn't matter if it is a woman doing it to a man or a man doing it to a woman. If you feel the need to hit someone you are with the wrong person. (Men need to call 911 and document abuse just as women should). Afterwards you should end the relationship. No one should be hitting anyone! Awhile back I wrote a hub on this topic. http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … -Hit-A-Man
I believe if a man gets slapped by a woman, and it is unwarranted (not self defense), he has every right to slap her back. I don't like that men get a bum rap for this because I know a lot of women that love to hit men, that start fights and hit just as hard as men do while expecting unjustified treatment simply because they are females.
When does a slap become abuse? When you didn't ask for it.
A slap becomes abuse pretty much when the slap happens. Nobody should slap anybody, period. Physical violence shows a lack of mutual respect as a human being and a "serious deficiency in conflict resolution skills." Abused guys, especially big guys, don't get the understanding that abused women do.
I have witnessed domestic violence in a variety of situations, much more than once. And yes, women certainly do attack men, and it seems to me that some of these violent women are unaware of how much pain and even bodily damage they can do. If you're on the receiving end, the thing to do - if you can - is to catch her wrist and with minimal force restrain her until she calms down (to protect yourself, not simply to overpower her into submission.) Be careful, because it can quickly turn in to a wrestling match. (Of course, if your spouse is truly giving you a whompin', like with a weapon, hell ya, you do whatever you have to do to protect yourself!) Then, as dashingscorpio said, call the police and have it legally documented. Then, you and she should see counselors, her for her violence and you for dealing with the question of whether or not you should stay with her.
Personally, I vote for the guy getting the hell out of there. Sure, on TV and in the movies the woman throws the dishes at him and then later they make up and her violence is "just the way some women are", but if the roles were reversed, what advice would people give?
I know of a 100 pound woman who stuck a kitchen steak knife in her 200 pound husband's forearm (where would the knife gone if he hadn't raised his arm?), another who threw a brick at her husband's head (she missed), and a third who attempted to break a big piece of ceramic over the back of her boyfriend's head (he turned in time and deflected it to the floor, and she said, "See what you made me do!") Don't tell me maybe I don't know the full story on these incidents, because I was there, in the middle. Domestic violence gets really ugly really fast.
Physical violence sometimes stops, but it usually only escalates. When a spouse hits someone "back", the other person does not say to him or herself, "Gee, that hurts, physically and emotionally. This must be how my mate feels when I do the hitting. I see the error of my ways." No, they think something more like this: "Oh, ya? You bitch / bastard! Take this!" I figure that if a woman will slap a guy, sooner or later she just might throw a brick at his head.
Okay, a slap is already abuse, no matter who is on the receiving end of it. If your wife is physically attacking you, there is nothing that says that you can't restrain her.
I don't think abuse should be tolerated in any relationship regardless if it comes from a man or a woman. I also don't believe that being abused warrants the right to abuse the other person. Self-defense? Absolutely, if it is truly to protect oneself and not just retaliating. I think if a woman is abusing a man, him being physical back is not the solution anymore than calling someone a name that first offended you is. If he doesn't fear for his safety and desires to stay then I believe he should confront her and encourage her to get help, or that he will have to separate until she is willing to do so. Bottom line abuse is wrong!
He's definitely in an abusive marriage and bad unions will bring out the worst in anybody. Yes society does not expect the man to fight back, and it's even shameful for men to admit that they are in abusive situations but when in the end he decides to counter it more aggressively and harms his wife no one will care that he was the victim in an abusive marriage. So the trick is to leave as soon as possible before it's too late.
And a slap is abuse if it's regular. If it happened once it's a slap.When it takes a plural now that's abuse.
No one should slap or hit anyone, neither sex. Often in society there seems to a pass for women to slap or hit a man because men do not hit women and a man's hit can be devastating to a woman HOWEVER that is no excuse to slap anyone.
If a man defends himself while his wife is slapping/attacking him it is perceived by most as the man abusing her because of his ability to inflict harm on a greater scale than she could cause a man (typically).
Bottom Line - everyone needs to keep their hands to themselves.
by dashingscorpio 5 years ago
Is a woman ever within her rights to slap a man?Assuming he said something insulting, derogatory, or she caught him lying about cheating.
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