As the oldest child, what would you really want to say to your parents ?
Many oldest children have unresolved issues with their parents from the harsher and more differential treatment they received as children to being put upon 24/7/365. They are children for the shortest period of time and adults far before they are ready. They were held to strict standards and could not get away with anything.
I love you.
I didn't always. I used to hate you. Nothing I did was ever good enough. If I brought home 10 "A-s" on my report card, you questioned my one "B". You were always yelling at me or correcting me. You had very little tolerance and even less patience with me.
You set unrealistic expectations and wanted me to do things that I was actually too young to do. My ideas were always dumb and I didn't know what I was talking about. As I got older, it got worse. When I started to assert my independence, you went ballastic! Who was I to question you? I even had to pay rent when I turned 18 from my measley minimum wage job, even though I was paying my own way through college. I couldn't wait to move out.
When I did it was to get married. I didn't even care if I saw you again. I was only 22, way too early to get married, but I was willing to take my chances.
Then something weird happened. All that wedding planning I did with my wife to be, you actually praised and said how proud you were. All that rent I had to pay, how was I to know you were saving every penny, so that you could give it back to me when I was getting married.
I didn't understand that all along you were proud of me and that you didn't know how to tell me that. After all, your parents never told you that! And when my wife and I had our first child, I began to understand.....
You did the best you could, the best you knew how. Anything you did for me or to me was out of unconditional love. You provided me with safety, a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear and I never remember hearing you complain about how much you hate your job.
You worked hard to make a decent living and instilled important values and ethics into my life and set an example of being responsible for what you did, all of which helped make me the person I am today.
What am I ? Married to a beautiful woman for over 37 years, so much for getting married way to young at 22. I am the proud father of three happy and successful adult children. I am the immensly proud Grandfather of two adorable and precious grandchildren. I have been blessed with many things I don't even deserve, but always worked hard and tried to never complain. And I made horrendous mistakes while raising our kids. But, like you, I did the best I could, the best I knew how. And it was good enough. You know where I got it from? From you.
You were the best parents a guy could ever have.
I love you.
It isn't fair that I was born the oldest child. I was more of a parent to my sisters than you were. I was more of a parent to you than you were a parent to me...
That said, you did the best you could under the circumstances. You did what you thought was right. I'm "all grown up" now (I turned thirty 2 1/2 hours ago), and I'm pretty much over it. I love you for who you are, even though you'll never ever be the parent all of my friends have.
I'm glad you're proud of me even when I'm not proud of myself...
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