To progressive and enlightened women out there, What makes mothers of large fami

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   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   To progressive and enlightened women out there, What makes mothers of large families
   
   strongly assert that ALL WOMEN ought to have the same desires and lifestyle that THEY DO?  What causes mothers of large families(6-more children per family) to contend that their family style is the only legitimate one?  If one reads the large family blogs, that is the majority consensus of mothers of large families. 
   
   

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   kbdressmanposted 9 years ago

   As a newlywed, I can't say for sure.  However, family is very important in my religious faith.  There's a big push for women to be in the home, caring for their children.  (It's perfectly fine for a woman to do other things in her life, it's not a suppression thing, it's just a belief that children do best when moms are in the home whenever possible.  For example, my mother didn't get married until after she had her MPH and had done an internship in Washington DC.  She had a very promising career in California when I was born and she chose to "give that up" or "put that on hold" to stay home with me.  We're encouraged to get a college education and have skills that would allow us to provide for a family if we needed to, but if we can be in the home when there are children there, it's preferable.)  Anyway, a lot of these women are defensive about their decision to stay home. They feel like the world looks down on them and, in the world's eyes, they will never measure up to women who are outside of the home.  Is it possible that this defensiveness is part of the answer to your question? 
   
   On the flip side, a lot of people give me crap for wanting to be a doctor. (I'm applying for medical school right now.)  There's a holier than thou attitude, because they believe that their religion has dictated that a woman is supposed to be a baby producer and nothing more.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent point you have made. I feel that mothers of large families ENVY women who DON'T have lots of children. They hate other women because the latter have a FREER lifestyle w/MORE choices than they will EVER have. So they WEEP....

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      kbdressmanposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I'm grateful for the opportunity to receive an education.  It gives me a sense of accomplishment and security I wouldn't otherwise have.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely, education is a wonderful thing.  So is having a career.  These two things are elixirs and boost one's sense of self.

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      Kiss andTalesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I have both experiences , I have a daughter who has no children in college very spiritual
      and I have two with children very busy raising them to be fine human beings with good morals.
      The point is, things balance out family helps family,

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   Traci Michelleposted 9 years ago

   I don't know that it's so much all mothers of large families do anything in common. Lots of people have large families.
   
   It seems to me the ones who have belief based reasons for the large families have just become very vocal over the past several years.
   
   It's not the size of the family that's causing the opinion, it's the underpinnings of those particular families' lifestyles.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Lots of people DON['T have large families They know that if they do, their children won't have socioeconomic & educational opportunities. It is only the uneducated, irresponsible, & ignorant who have large families,not caring about their chil

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      Traci Michelleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Ah, so this was a question looking for answers to support your opinions on the Duggers and their ilk. My apologies, I have no comment on them. But it is sad they've prejudiced you against people you've never met.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The Duggars are prototypes of large families. It is not only the Duggars but the average large families operate that way. They have a mindset, mentality, & psychology of poverty. Their culture & outlook AREN'T normal in the least!

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   Express10posted 9 years ago

   In my life observations and experience, it appears to me that quite often mothers of large families were groomed by others to accept this belief (often to the benefit of others in some way), they are may not be well informed/well educated and open minded enough to understand that there are a wide variety of families, or both.
   
   There are many downsides to large families and the Duggars are a good example.  Large families such as the Duggars cannot actually do a good job of parenting many children. I feel that the Duggars, have stolen the childhoods of their children and whether they admit it publicly or not, I believe the children also feel many things are awry.
   
   I have always felt that parents must do what is best for their children. The Duggars do not meet all of the needs for all of the children they have and use the children as surrogate parents in a variety of ways harming and grooming their children to do the same.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly, mothers of large families are mothers only in the physical sense. They aren't mothers at all; it is their OLDEST/OLDER children who are THE REAL mothers forfeiting their formative childhood./adolescent years.  How RIGHT you are as usual!

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   tamarawilhiteposted 9 years ago

   The large family can be seen as a sign of their faith and commitment, as well as measure of personal sacrifice. Thus, a measure of holier than thou.
   I think those who can afford 4 kids without welfare or assistance should be allowed to do so, but it doesn't make them better than those who have one or two.
   They tend to become more adamant about their decision to have the large family in response to the constant criticism of having had so many. So they swing the other way and cheerlead the lifestyle, instead of realizing it works for them but not for most women.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This is the SECOND BEST answer. I have noticed this attitude also. Mothers of large families do have a HOLIER THAN THOU attitude.They believe that they are somehow saints and that other women are inferior because they have small families.

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   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   
   
   It seems that mothers of large families somehow feel that they are superior to mothers of small families who they feel aren't legitimate mothers at all.  They believe that they are the true mothers while all other mothers are selfish because they have less children. 
   
   Mothers of large families are under the delusion that motherhood= lots of children & the more children, the better.  Mothers of large families feel that they are the true definition of what it is to be a mother.  They believe that not only mothers of small families are selfish but also women who are childfree.  To mothers of large families, childfree women are the height of selfishness.  They maintain that all women should have large families like they do.  They proclaim that if women put their own desires & needs aside, they could have large families as the former does.

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