What makes so many mothers of large/very large families look down upon, even disparage mothers of
small families? Many mothers of large/very large families somehow believe that they are true, even authentic mothers who exemplify "true motherhood". They believe that they are extremely selfless because they've many children. They argue that mothers of small families aren't mothers in the sense of the definition. They assert that if they were really mothers, they would have more children. However, IT'S mothers of small families who are the most involved & engaged mothers while mothers of large/very large families oftentimes abdicate their parenting duties to their oldest/older children.
The average mother of a large/very large family consider mothers of small families to be selfish. In the former's estimation if the latter weren't selfish, they would have MORE, not LESS children. Mothers of large/very large families consider themselves to be TRUE MOTHERS because they embody, even exemplify what it is like to be a real mother, placing her children's needs way before her own. They oftentimes feel superior because they are the ones at home with their children while their counterparts of small families have a life outside of motherhood which they find reprehensible. They are of the school that motherhood should be the only lifestyle that women should aspire to & attain.
They also have negative feelings towards mothers of small families because the latter is less stressed regarding their children. The latter can devote more unhurried time with their children while the former are oftentimes overwhelmed at the sheer number of children they have to raise. Mothers of small families have time to devote to more adult-centered acitiviites than mothers of large families who are more or less are saddled with children that they have no time for any adult-centered activity.
They envy the mother of small families for the freedoms that they wish for. Mothers of small families have more freedom than mothers of large families. They have the economic freedom to pursue their interests while mothers of large families have very limited freedom to do as they wish, especially economically.
Small families are only an option today because of contraception and less than 5% child mortality in the developed world.
Having 5-8 kids you support and raise yourself today is a cultural outlier in a society of 1.9 kids per woman. Given how many people complain that stay at home mothers are selfish or undermining feminism, having two or three times as many kids than average leads to even more targeting, even criticism from parents of two and three.
That makes large families all the more bizarre to most. However, it is a traditional style of family (though harkening to a time you had 6 kids hoping 2 grew up).
Women cannot have it all, full time job, couple kids with close supervision, fantastic body, deep personal friendships, etc. The media and feminism has lied to us on that, hence the articles on how women can have it all - without kids. Many without children or just one or two look at a woman with many children and say she's hurting them, undermining herself, etc. No, she's chosen to focus on family as her contribution and legacy to the future. It just isn't the politically correct one.
And as long as she isn't asking the rest of us for money to raise and support them and raising decent people, I don't care if she does.
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