What causes a person to ALWAYS put themselves......LAST? Does such a person
have little or even no self-esteem? Why does such a person oftentimes feel unappreciated, even loathed by others? Why do people disparage, disrespect, even see such a person as mentally unhealthy, if not stupid? Why do such a person hate himself/herself enough to consider himself/herself worthless while others are deemed worthy? There is a saying that if one doesn't put himself/herself FIRST, no one else one. Also people TREAT you the way YOU treat yourself!
I agree that people would treat you exactly the way you treat yourself. I think there should be different people in the world otherwise it won't be possible. I can't imagine the world where everyone is confident, successful, happy, healthy and the like. There has to be something negative out there for us to appreciate positive.
I've heard of the JOY priorities - Jesus, then others, then you. This is held up as a moral standard, so any accusation of self-centeredness was a sin against God as well as seen as bad by the parents.
And it pushes those who grow up under it to be selfless to a fault.
There are many factors which causes a person to constantly put himself/herself......LAST:
(1) H/she has no sense of self-worth, self-respect, or a sense of self. H/she feels that others are important, even significant while h/she is a personae non gratae. H/she isn't capable of asserting who h/she is & what h/she wants.
(2) H/she was raised on the premise that it is nobler to always put oneself last & to consider oneself is selfish. H/she is taught that others' needs must always come before his/her needs.
(3) H/she wants to gain control over others so by placing their needs & wants first, h/she has leverage over them.
(4) H/she lives for others. H/she feels that his/her life isn't worth anything unless h/she is doing for others.
(5)H/she wants to feel.....useful, needed.
There is a degree of self-loathing, low self-esteem, & mental illness for a person to always put themselves last. People see this & consider such a person doormats, unworthy of respect. People figure that if this person respected himself/herself, h/she would put himself/herself first instead of last. Healthy people have self-interest & would never put themselves last. That is an abnormality bordering on psychosis.
A person who always put himself/herself last are oftentimes treated as non-persons by others. Such person believes that his/her actions will be reciprocated in kind but such is never the case. Many times this person treats people better than people treat them. Of course, anyone who always put themselves last won't be respected. In fact, they are viewed as unintelligent or even mentally lacking because a sense of intelligence is to consider oneself FIRST & FOREMOST. After all, if one doesn't love & cherish himself/herself & normally put himself/herself FIRST, then no one else is going to do so either. Smart, intelligent, & mentally healthy people put themselves......FIRST, NEVER LAST!
First and last is just a symbol that denotes where we are but it doesn't mean everything in life . Nobody is perfect in everything.
They may be last in that particular field or job but we should not come to the conclusion they are unsuccessful. For example person who is last in office always getting problem may be he/she will be having good family and childrens. He/she may be happy and successful one in family.
Everyone have self esteem but two things that make them to forget it. First they may be lazy to do it and putting all blame that unlucky, not worthy like they are finding . Second thing they are not interest in doing it and they are interest in some other things due some circumstances they may entered here.
Last thing is that nobody is ready to motive others because of heavy competition and fear that if we insist them then they may become first. Not everyone can analysis themselves what they are but few people are motivated by their family and friends. So if someone is in pit nobody is ready to give hands.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 2 years ago
Does a person who always puts himself/herself last seriously need psychological, even psychiatrictherapy as his/her behavior is considered to be pathologically abnormal, even dysfunctional?
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