"Toughen Up!" "Take it" "Get Resilient" Why Should We?

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   threekeysposted 7 years ago

   Why cant someone, lean or have systems in place to be protected from being expected to be strong. Who wants to be strong all the time? Why? Just to take more hardship or horror your way. Whats wrong in approaching your world in a soft way? Could this be a reflection of ongoing entrenched patriachy?

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      lovetherainposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      because weakness isn't a virtue. I know this from personal experience.

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      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Threekeys,
      
      Being a doormat and getting walked on is a painful way to live.
      We see this not only in humanity but throughout nature period.
      The weak get slaughtered.
      
      It's been said: "The first law of nature is self preservation."
      By learning to adapt and protect ourselves we're loving ourselves.
      
      Just because you refuse to take crap off of people doesn't mean you are out to dish it upon others. Its more of a live and let live approach to life.
      
      When people sense you're weak a lot of them will take advantage of you.
      The only person we can fully control is our self.
      Establishing boundaries and "deal breakers" garners respect from others.
      You are responsible for looking out for your own wellbeing.
      
      For those who have children the way you conduct yourself is their model.
      If they see you tolerate abuse and mistreatment they will do the same.
      
      Last but not least it's important to remember the following.
      Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
      We get to (choose) who we spend our free time with.
      No one is "stuck" with anyone. Remove toxic people from your life.
      We are responsible for our own happiness.
      Suffering as a way of life is optional!
      
      

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         threekeysposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         I wasnt speaking about a doormat. That's your assumption.
         There was a interview I was watching recently that was about the #me too movent and in general females, power, rights and the 21 century.
         In particular what caught my attention was the discussion between one of our female politicians and one millenial journalist. Their opposed stance spawned this question. The politician is a ex female army/military police personnel who drives a hard line except I now understand (dont agree) that if you want something you have to look away from the wrong doings that that authourity or person who can open the door for you, is doing.
         This panel  politician was deriding this panel Journalist who was arguing from the point of view why should we have to even fight to be soft or tender hearted. She argued that this is still a reflection of entrenched patriachy.
         There is a saying and I cant remember it exactly but it said something like " a mountain is tough and strong but as soon as it meets water it can be broken down into pebbles". The moutain at first glance is big and formidable. The water at first glance looks weak as it can slip through one's fingers. But volume and persistence can wear the mountain down.

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   Venkatachari Mposted 7 years ago

   I think it is a wrong message you get. It's not "toughen up" or "take it".
   
   It's "Be Bold" and "Come Out, Face Them". You need to shed your hesitations and doubts regarding your capabilities. Do not get held up due to your assumed or preset fake illusions or fears. Come out from those shackles and face the society boldly with your willpower and determination. Your softness shouldn't be considered as a weakness. You need to exhibit your powers and skills.

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      threekeysposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You have flipped the coin, Venkatachari.It is an unexpected take but one that rings with solidity for some reason.Your view/perception is more likeable and sounds more possible.

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   holliesandhealthposted 7 years ago

   There have been a lot of progress made in this area, especially when it comes to women's and men's psychological health. However, for the phrase "get resilient" I believe they mean this to be that we should grow from our experiences so that we can be stronger people from that.

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   Jessie L Watsonposted 7 years ago

   Because bearing one's own cross is our primary existential responsibility. Either complain about the world and become a monster of equal proportion to those with whom you condemn...or take every bit of life's suffering on your back and carry it like a real hero.
   
   "There is only one thing that I dread: not to become worthy of my own sufferings" - Dosteovsky

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