What are the TEN worst things that parents can do to their OLDEST children?
Depend on them too heavily for all kinds of help, especially with the younger children.
Expect them to cater to the parents.
Assume they already have built-in wisdom and maturity and do not need to be given appropriate advice or boundaries.
Underestimate their need to be acknowledged for accomplishments.
Assume they do not need family involvement as they become teenagers.
Assume they do not need money or help in finding jobs or getting into college.
Give up on them.
Exclude them from family outings, assuming they are no longer interested in family matters.
Abandon them on a psychological level by holding grudges because they have let the parent down ...
through no fault of their own.
Mostly because parental expectations of the oldest are way high.
… as far as I know.
Parents have DRACONIAN expectations for oldest children. To many parents, especially parents of large families, oldest children are simply familial mascots & servants. In typical large families, oldest children are slaves, no more, no less.
In small families of 2-3 children, parents treat their oldest children humanely. Oldest children in small families aren't expected to be parents nor little adults. They are LOVED by their parents & treated as children. However, in large/very large families of six & more children, oldest children are discarded/cast aside unless they are called into servitude by parents & younger siblings. Oldest children in large/very large families are ABUSED & DEPRIVED of normative childhoods & adolescence.
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