Name the 6 WORST thing that people have assumed and/or believed about YOUR birth order and family size status?
Well, hmm... My birth order: I'm at once the youngest and the oldest. Whatever people think or assume, I've never been privy to, as they've not shared those opinions with me.
I did read a book about birth order, and the things it says are typical for eldest and only children are so far off-base for me as to be laughable. You see, I think it has much more to do with environment, and how you were raised, with what expectations, etc., than about your sequence of birth in the family unit.
Ms. Lizzy, only children are BLESSED. Only children are the MOST UNIQUE of all birth orders. They are also unfortunately the most maligned and misunderstood of all birth orders. However, only children have a LOT going for them..
ONLY CHILDREN are THE ULTIMATE and DON'T EVER FORGET THAT!
BEAUTIFUL! Only children are the MOST UNIQUE birth order there is. We were never dethroned as oldest children are. They have the most undivided parental attention. They are not overburdened and discarded in favor of younger siblings as oldest children are. They are not forgotten and overlooked as middle children are. They never experience parental favoritism which is rife in multichild families.
Only children have space and privacy. They know how to appreciate our aloneness and uniqueness. They also know how to rely and depend upon ourselves. They know how to entertain ourselves and be creative. We are also highly individualistic. They work well alone and do not see aloneness as a stigma. They aren't afraid to be by myself as opposed to those in multichild families who are often petrified of being alone.
Not to disgress, some of the most creative people in the world are only children. Only children are quite comfortable reading, sketching, and pursuing solitary activities. They also have monies allocated to us to pursue cultural and intellectual activities which children in multichild families cannot. They are also the most likely to attend college as a result of more monies allotted.
Only children are LOVED and CHERISHED by our parents. Be proud to be an only child. They are beautiful and caring people. Being only children teach us to reach out to people and develop fierce friendships and family relaitionsships. People w/siblings tend to be insular and not seek outside friendships.
People with siblings, particularly those from large families have very few friends and outside relationships, depending SOLELY upon siblings for friendships and companionship. People from large families are highly suspicious and distrusting of outsiders. They have an us vs. them perspective.
Only children do not have that, only children are more universalistic in terms of relationships. They have a lot of friendships and a variety of friendships. They have no problem forming friendships and reaching out to people. I have see this among many only children, including myself.
Being only children teach us that parents are friends and companions. How many children in multichild families, esp. large families, have close relationships with their parents? Few and far between. Only children have that special bond with our parents that children in multichild families do not have. We are INDEED BLESSED!
There is a saying about onlies. Parents of onlies GOT IT RIGHT the first time. The next time someone has anything negative about only children, say that! God Bless and have a Lovely Night, WrylLit!
Well, either loved and cherished by your parents or so hated they vowed never to have another such creature!
As the eldest of five, I've always assumed I was such a sweet and wonderful child that they kept going in the face of adversity (my siblings), always trying to get another like me!
That's SWEET! That reminds me of an oldest child. There was one co-worker, the oldest of 8 children, whose mother stated to her that she was INSUFFICIENT and NOT PLEASING. She cried to me and other co-workers that her mother was not happy with her at all!
She stated that for those reasons, her mother had 7 successive siblings until she had a child that WAS FINALLY RIGHT! There is an adage in multichild families, that if a child is the youngest in the family, be honored for the parents are finally pleased and GOT IT RIGHT, STOPPING at THEM!
Well, let's see, here:
1) My parents struggled a bit to have me (my dad was "considerably" older than my mom..a "May-December" relationship), so once I was born, my dad was bound and determined that nothing bad was going to happen to me. As a result, I was very severely overprotected--given very strong roots, but no wings. (Example: my dad refused to let me have a bicycle, on the grounds that "some drunk might drive up on the sidewalk and hit you!" I finally got a bike at age 12, when my girlfriends in the neighborhood were putting theirs away as "outgrown toys of childhood.")
2) I always wished for a sibling; I was the "lonely only," I'm not especially happy to be alone--I like to share experiences with friends and/or family. I love to be around crowds of friends and family, and parties.
3) I fought going to college after high school--I struggled just to be an average student, and I was determined that once I'd finished my legally required 12 years, there was no way I was volunteering for more time in school at that point. (I finally did go, and get my AA degree when my own kids were in high school; and graduated with honors, thank you very much, because I had to prove to myself that I was smart enough to do so!!)
4) My parents' age difference was so great that my dad's family, who lived in-state, were way out of sync with my age--my first cousins were my mother's age; their kids were infants and very young children when I was 8 to 12 or so...I was raised as a miniature adult, more comfortable with those of my father's generation than with my own peer group.
My mother's family was 3,000 miles away in MA, so I only saw those cousins, who were about my own age, perhaps 9 times over the course of my growing up years.
5) Due to #4, I know songs I have no right to know by virtue of my own age--tunes from both World War eras, as well as stuff from Mitch Miller and the Gang (we had the sing-along records)...that's what I was listening to and enjoying when my peers were listening to and screaming over the likes of Bobby Darin and the Beatles.
End result--I'm pretty much a misfit! I'm the "Jill of all trades, master of none," because I have too many interests to master any one of them; I'm a dabbler.
At age 65, I still don't much care for being all by myself except when I'm trying to accomplish a task--I don't like interruptions. But to go out hiking, camping, shopping, what-have-you, I want company.
So, that's what I mean when I say that the things it says in the birth order psychology do not fit or apply to me at all...i.e., so far off base as to be laughable.
;-) But--I am who I am, and that's that.
You're not a misfit at all. Rejoice in your onliness. Only children receive such a bad rap from the sibling society which makes many ashamed to be an only child. My advice to you: be an unapologetic only child. Say: I AM ONLY AND DARN PROUD. I am an unapologetic only child who will be quite confrontational when the sibling society and culture disparage and cast aspersions on only children. I also will defend EVERY only child. We WILL stand up and be proud, hear me, Ms. Lizzy. Be proud.
Be like those from large families, people knock them constantly; however, they will tell you despite their poverty and deprivations, they are proud to be in a large family. Only children had better stop being apologetic to the sibling majority and assert themselves. Onlies now comprise 47% of the population and are growing. We are in GREAT company: Betty White, Condoleeza Rice, Charlize Theron, Chelsea Clinton, Natalie Portman, Lauren Bacall, Robert DeNiro, Jerry Lewis, Adrien Brody, and a host of other illustrious souls. We have class, remember that. Peace and Love from a sister only. I would NEVER change being an only child for the world. NEVER!
People assume because i was;the youngest girl i was spoiled but my parents actually;spoiled all;of;us equally
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