Cultural Error: "Don't ask your friends to help you move"

1. 63

   Jessie L Watsonposted 6 years ago

   Are friends becoming more of a commodity or a symbol of status in the advent of social media? What does the word "friend" actually mean these days?
   
   It can be partially summed up with the disturbingly common attitude that it's "rude" to ask your friends to help you move. Statements like that have always confounded me. Especially when I think about how I drop what I'm doing and help my closest friends with anything they need. Occasional acts of selflessness are what makes strong and healthy relationships.
   
   The sails of this sort of nonsense have a habit of catching wind in a culture that believes that people are simply a ticker of popularity or a means to an end.
   
   Time to start breaking these stupid rules.
   
   Get some most likely needed exercise.
   
   Be happy about aiding in the development and success of people you purport to care about.

   replyreport
   1. 69

      Live to Learnposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Friends is a misnomer for associate. Most people are simply associates, which makes almost any request presumptuous.

      replyreport
      1. 63

         Jessie L Watsonposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Fair enough.
         
         Although, I might contend that spur-of-moment acts of kindness can foster new relationships.
         
         Having said that, I generally don't ask for help when it comes to moves (even though I always need it when I move). A simple mix-up in definitions and syntax can program an entire group of people to think differently which makes the prospect of asking really difficult before anything begins.
         
         Boundaries make sense and I support them. I just feel like this one is a little too stringent.

         replyreport
         1. 69

            Live to Learnposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            I will always help, when asked. Cheerfully. But, that doesn't make them friends nor does it make me feel comfortable asking for help. All people of good will should pitch in, when asked.

            replyreport
            1. 63

               Jessie L Watsonposted 6 years agoin reply to this

               Agreed. Thanks for the feedback.

               replyreport
   2. 98

      Theophanesposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I've never heard anyone say it's rude to ask for help... that being said I'm apparently the go-to person to ask even though I'm female and a man would probably would make more sense...
      
      Anyway, my point is so many 'friends' are useless to ask (they won't show up anyway) that it leaves us helpful people doing waaay more moving and to far lesser known people than is really necessary. We go from being helpful to just being used. So step up! If these are really friends help them and maybe someday they'll help you back! That's how it's supposed to work! Let acquaintances find closer friends to help.

      replyreport
      1. 63

         Jessie L Watsonposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         +1

         replyreport
2. 65

   psycheskinnerposted 6 years ago

   I've never heard anyone suggest it is rude.

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Jessie L Watsonposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      What's the rent cost where you live? lol

      replyreport
3. 78

   Wesman Todd Shawposted 6 years ago

   Every time someone asks me to help them move, there is a piano. I now have one rule for helping friends move - there must not be a piano. I will no longer be involved in moving pianos.
   
   One of two things seem to happen. 1. I hurt myself. 2. I get blamed for piano damage,  because said piano is too heavy for the amount of persons trying to move it to do so.

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Jessie L Watsonposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Haha. I used to install floors for a living and there was always a piano we had to move. Always. And it was usually owned by widows in their 80s who wanted us to redecorate their living rooms while we were at it. :p
      
      Their kids were never around to visit or help as it were, so, its ok.

      replyreport