Oldest Children

  1. gmwilliams profile image84
    gmwilliamsposted 2 years ago

    If you were the oldest child in your family, did you LIKE, LOVE, or HATE it?  Why?  Why not?  If you have children, how do YOU treat your oldest child?

  2. MizBejabbers profile image87
    MizBejabbersposted 2 years ago

    Did I like, love or hate being the oldest child? I never gave it much thought until after I grew up, married and left home. I was 7 years older than my sister and 8 years older than my brother, which was almost like two different families. Unless a family's economic circumstances changed from their supporting parent's career(s), the family usually had more money to spend on the younger siblings after the older child or children left home. It became obvious that was the case from the letters my sister wrote me when I lived in another state. I was a little envious of her newly found luck, but I never wished that I were she. She had an entirely different personality from mine, and I preferred my intellectual abilities over her feminine wiles. I preferred being me, but she and I both envied the freedom my brother had.

    That was typical of southern families. The boys were free to roam and even hunt if they chose. from about age 8 or 9, he would leave the house in the morning or after school on his bike and we wouldn't see or hear from him until suppertime. We girls were required to always account for our whereabouts.

    So, while birth order had it's privileges, or lack thereof, gender had more to do with whether children of my day liked their positions in the household.

    I had only two children who were born three years apart. No middle child at our house, but I will say that I tried to treat them equally. However, their personalities were so different that sometimes it was difficult because they could not be treated the same. I'm sure that if we'd have had a third child, I would say the same thing. A new play on the old "separate but equal" slogan would be "different but equal".

    1. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, family dynamics change from oldest child to succedent siblings.  Oldest children oftentimes have the most arduous times in families.  Oldest children are sacrificial children.  They are even experimental children.  Oldest children must many times give up their individuality for the sake of the parents & siblings.  I don't wish being the oldest child on anyone.

      Oldest children are treated the most harshly in families.  They are punished for things that younger siblings do & act that the latter commit.  Oldest children aren't given a quarter by their parents.  Most oldest children HATED being the oldest in their families.  My mother was the OLDEST & she HATED it immensely.  The family placed such a burden on her that it seriously impacted her.   Oldest children go through hell.  My friends who are oldest children bemoan the fact that they were the oldest & had abbreviated childhoods.  The only oldest children who liked it were those from 2 child families.  Even many oldest children from 2 child families HATED being the oldest.  One of my elementary school classmates who was the oldest HATED her little sister with a passion.  Another one viewed her brother as an albatross.


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