Please give me some insight...the boy is 9 years old, in the 3rd grade and physically healthy. He has been in the same school for the last 3 years, is known to the teachers and administrators, has not displayed any negative, has been a good kid from the beginning.
We know that there have been some changes in the household and think that this may be the reason for his present behavior. He has been defecating in his pants around 10am everyday since October. His mom will come and change him and has recently started sending him in pull-ups.
The system is waiting to test him but until that time....the teacher has to suffer...the other students don't know the extent of the issue, they just think he is passing gas. They never tease him they are not rude to him...they don't isolate him. This of course is a plus for him.
We need a practical solution to this issue until the administration comes up with something.....any ideas?
I hate to say this but I went to school with a similar case many years ago. It is more than physical although that may be a factor. He needs a complete evaluation. The girl who peed her pants in class all the time(puddle under the chair by lunch time) was being abused at home. psychologically blocking the abuse (do not know if it was physical or emotional) was the root of the problem. Another (Same peeing) had kudney stones (very young)
The boy (defecating) was suffering some sort of trauma and his body was responding to his need for attention from a family whose focus was not one him.
Three cases between elementary and high school and the evaluation showed problems that desperately needed to be addressed.
I am not sure what the home changes are...but, the thought of physical or sexual abuse is something that should be looked into....there is so much red tape involved that it is hard to get professional assistance beyond trained school personnell.....Thanks for responding.
That's a very bad sign. Did you know this is one of the major signs there is a serial killer in the making.
The other ones are:
Killing small animals
More than 60 percent of serial killers wet their beds beyond the age of 12 they also defecate any time or place they choose.
There are like 12-16 signs. Usually they are very smart and try to hide who they are behind a smile and friendly face.
Ted Bundy was 12 and killed an 8 year old girl.
I didn't know that....hopefully we will have some answers before the end of the school year.....
Did you know that serial killers and most other psychotic behaviours are created by the environment and society around the growing child. Hoping for answers one day is more of an indictment of the society around the kid rather than any issue with the kid himself.
Wow. This is a big issue. If the child never had problems before, the problem likely comes from whatever change was in the home. Young children are incredibly sensitive to changes. I suggest having him talk to a counselor, it sounds like he could greatly benefit from it.
Have people talked with him about it before? I know it's embarrassing and people don't like discussing embarrassing things, but this is important.
I agree, whatever has happened in the home is more than likely what has triggered this behavior.....
I don't know what conversations others have had with him.... I know that his teacher is very considerate of her students feelings and self respect. So, I know that she has not embarresed him in front of the other students.
I presume that the teacher has have the school counselor speak with him, which is what should be done, but I am not sure if she has done this.
have you tried excusing him to use the bathroom at that time?
maybe if you let him know that it's o.k. to get up and go or is he too embarrassed to show any attention to himself?
is he doing it at home also?
The restroom is directly across the hall from the students classroom, but it doesn't appear that he wants to use it ...His behavior is such that it appears that he wants to defecate on himself...almost as if he wants to be rejected or see if people will love him in spite of this behavior....
I don't know, he's not my student......I think the teacher said that he was also doing this at home....
why would it take so long to find answers as you stated above, before the end of the year??
there should be a school counselor who can help with this boy and his parents. if it takes that long in your school system to find an answer, I would encourage his family to see their doctor.
I know that sometimes getting assessments done for a student can take time, but surely it doesn't take months. he needs help now.
good luck! the boy is waving a red flag.
I'm not a counsellor or an expert in these matters. I'm just a mum who was once a kid herself, but there is something seriously wrong with this kid.
I can only assume that he got made such a fuss of the first time it happened that he chose to repeat the experience??
Else he has a physical problem which could of course be solved by sending him to the toilet every morning 10 minutes either side of 10am, seeing it seems to be a regular occurance at this time.
Need an expert to deal with this...sorry.
I think IzzyM and rebekahELLE have given a good solution to the immediate problem - Allow him the opportunity to attend to his toileting needs prior to the problem time - have his Mum arrive at 9.30 and take care of this. And like everyone else I agree there is obviously a bigger area for concern - deal with what you can and allow people with greater areas of expertise to take care of the WHYS He is lucky to have a teacher who cares.
Perhaps escorting him intentionally to the restroom prior to his "usual time" might cause him to use those faciilties instead of his pants.... Also, having him mom there at that time may make a difference....I don't know though, because he is also doing this at home...so, mom may have lost her influence over him
and, you are right....his teacher is very caring, her students perform very well....
I'm certainly not an expert either, but wonder if it's some sort of control issue, either physically or emotionally. I would have him and his parents sit with his teacher or the school counselor and try to figure it out.
if anyone is telling him he's a baby, this could affect him to the point where he actually does it on purpose, to 'act' like a baby.
the parent putting him in the pull-up? did a doctor recommend this?
Teacher and mom have spoken....I think mom is at her wits end and has moved into an acceptance mode....he is the youngest of all of the children,
I wonder if mom is pregnant? Maybe he is threatened by the prospect of a "new baby"......
I don't know if the doctor recommended pull-ups or not.....I don't know if she has taken him to the doctor....
The first thing that jumped into my mind is a suspicion that this boy may be abused. Regression to infantile behaviors in otherwise perfectly healthy 8 or 9 year old boys is a bad sign.
Of course there is something seriously wrong with this poor kid, or happening to him. What do you mean he is "waiting to be assessed" this amounts to everyone standing around discussing him while he is screaming for help! He is not a malfunctioning machine he is a kid in trouble.
I'm not sure what waiting to be assessed means either, schools and their employees tend to be a little slow to respond in circumstances concerning the well being of children, rest assured if it was a child causing problems in a classroom that kid would be doped up so fast it would make our heads spin!
Gotta watch out for the welfare of teachers at all costs!
You could always take the kid to the shitter at 9:58, just a thought.
Waiting ot me assessed in the public school system means that the school social worker, the school psychologist and the department of family and children services have to coodinate their efforts to get to the student....
That is the reason for this post....what can the teacher do in the meantime to help the kid....
I am going to suggest that she make a deliberate move to take him to the bathroom prior to his "usual time"....it just might work.
I agree, Something needs to be done. Having him assessed would be good though because it could give reason for an investigation of the parents etc. If not assessed by a doctor giving cause the police will say they have nothing to base a case on.
He is probably being emotionally, mentally and sexually abused.
Try talking to him. Call him to your desk after class when no one else is around. Explain to him that he can trust you, that you are not going to judge him or harm him in any way, that you just want to know why he is defecating in his pants. If he doesn't know, ask him a few general questions: Do you feel okay? Does your stomach hurt or feel funny? How's everything going at home? Are Mom and Dad treating you okay? Any new people living in your house? Etc, etc, etc.
A 9 year old will, typically be very honest. And, if he is hiding something from you, you will most likely be able to SEE that he is trying to hide something from you. Watch his face and body language while you talk to him. If he, at any time, responds oddly, go with your gut and report your concerns to the proper people.
I have had a few of these children in my home and this boy is probably very traumatized. He needs a physician first to see if there are any physical reasons for this and then a child psychologist or psychiatrist.
I wouldn't jump the gun on assuming the child is abused, but it does sound like it. Tell the teacher to look up Reactive Attachment Disorder and see if he has any of the other symptoms. He is showing distress, but it could also be a loss, not necessarily abuse.
This is a child method of showing control. When they can't control anything else in their life they can control their own body. And it sounds like it's mom he is controlling if she's the one who cleans him every time.
One solution might be to have someone else do cleanup. You have to do it in a way that shows it doesn't matter to you at all that he did it and then he won't be able to use it to control anyone. It will get boring. Make him wash himself.
Also if it's around the same time every day the teacher should announce to him, okay it's your bathroom time and walk him there and wait till his usual time would have passed. She has to make it her idea for him to defecate, not his. Or walk up to him in class and very privately say "Isn't it time to poop your pants?" It could shock him out of it because he has lost the control.hugyuhn It's all about the teacher getting some control over the situation rather than the child.
Warning though, when you try to take a child's control of that situation away from him it might get worse or show up elsewhere in other behaviours.
I know this is late for the post, but it struck me that you said he defecated around 10 a.m. every day..... I would have had him stay in the office sick bathroom around that time so he could defecate in the toilet so he didn't have to soil his pants each day... there have been students who have had these issues stemming sometimes from child abuse, but also sometimes from dietary issues or medicine issues. Hopefully this has been resolved and that boy has regained his dignity.
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