According to various news sources, a 9 year old boy is bullied at school for carrying a "My Little Pony" backpack. The school representatives told the kid to simply stop taking the backpack to school, and he won't have an issue. Citing that the backpack itself was the trigger of the bullying. Needless to say, the mother of the kid was mad saying that they're statement is like saying mini skirts are a trigger for guys to rape women; hence she's saying the school's logic is flawed.
Anyways if you all want to know more about this story, then please click on the youtube link below for more details:
If anyone wants to know my thoughts, I agree with everything the black guy said in the video. Sorry if that sounds racist, but they didn't say what his name was, so...
Anyways, what are you're thoughts on this? Was the backpack itself a trigger for bullying? Do you think the bullies should be punished? Do you think the principal and teachers are wrong for advising the kid not to take the backpack to school? What are your thoughts on this?
I believe your child is important enough that If there is any hint of bullying you should PULL HIM OUT OF PUBLIC SCHOOL and keep him out until the problem is completely, utterly SOLVED. Until then, find an alternate educational environment. Home school can become the option of choice. Neighborhood groups can be formed, if needed. I'm sure B. Franklin would approve, in today's climate! Be ready before you enroll your child in public school to have the home school affidavit ready to go.
http://pattyinglishms.hubpages.com/hub/ … t-12595700
First of all, bullying is not a public school problem. Bullying happens in private schools and public schools. Bullying can even happen in so-called "home school" and community school environments.
Second, bullying is not limited to schools. Bullying happens everyone.
More today than ever. It is a fad. A very sad fad.
Where did they learn this behavior I would like to know? It is from a loss of JOY OF LIFE.
Really Sad. And it is very contagious. It is the modern day fight.
How to stay happy despite EVERYTHING!
Sorry my shades are not drawn, Psycheskinner or any one else who minds my comments.)
You know, I think I agree with you.
There is something going on; some loss, as you note, of a "joy of life" and people and friendship.
And yes, how do we stay happy? How do we teach our children and grandchildren to stay happy?
I think they are kicking the dog. No one is happy with teaching to the test. Especially the teachers. They need their paycheck and they feel the pressure to perform as expected or else. The grade is everything whether public, home or private school. Maybe. But, I am only guessing. I have no Idea.
Joy of life is something children are born with. I do not think it is being protected. Maybe the media is to blame; Too early sexualization and exposure to violence through really crappy adult themed entertainment. I hate it when I go to someone's house and they are watching inappropriate movies with toddlers and four year olds in the same room. The children are absorbing what is on the screen whether it seems like it or not. And no one seems to care.
What can I do... turn off the TV and say, "There are four year olds here!"
Well, I should…
but, I don't.
We all should!
(One time at a family party, music videos were being played etc. I took all the kids and had them play in another room, though. I got down on the floor and played blocks with them. They loved it.)
It won't kill adults to create environments that a not only child-friendly, but appropriate; to let kids be kids in a kid world for as long as possible.
If you think that's bad, you should see how my Uncle David treats his 5 year old son. He not only lets him watch those kind of movies, but he also buys him games like "Resident Evil" and "Grand Theft Auto 5" or whatever. If you don't know anything about "Grand Theft Auto" the game, it's essentially a game where you can kill people, beat people up, and sleep with prostitutes. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with it per say personally, as I grew up on a lot of those same violent movies that you're referring to, yet I've never been prone to bully or resort to violence.
Well, unless someone really angers me, but I've always managed to keep my anger in check. But then again, I think a lot of it depends on the parents as well. Even though my dad used to make me watch a lot of those same R rated movies with him, I was instilled at an early age with the idea that EVERYTHING you see on TV shows and movies aren't real. However, maybe most of today's youths aren't so lucky to have a parent teach their kids that. I don't know, but I do know this. Violence has existed way before the invention of TV and movies, so there has to be something more to it than what you're suggesting.
Are you really saying that you see nothing wrong with a 5-year old child watching R-Rated movies and playing a video game in which the goal is killing people and having sex with prostitutes?
Good God, hope not. Something is INDEED EGREGIOUSLY WRONG with letting a 5, even a 9 year old, watch R-rated movies and television programming.
I never said anything to that extent. I just said that I don't see a problem with kids growing up on violent movies because I grew on them myself, yet I've never been in jail, nor have I ever been prone to hurt others. Sure, I may have thought about it whenever i was angry with them, but you can say that about anyone here on this site. The only thing is I never once acted on those impulses because I know it's wrong. The point I was trying to make is that parents should instill a sense of right and wrong, and instill in them the idea that what they see on tv or movies isn't real; especially if they're going to allow them to watch all that violent crap like "Rambo" and etc.
However, if you're asking me personally if I would allow my own future 5 year old son to watch movies like that, or play violent games like that, then the answer would be no. If i had my way, my future son would probably only be playing the age appropriate games until he was legally old enough to play mature ones. This is kind of why I laugh at most parents when they b***ch about games like Grand Theft Auto being out, even though they clearly have ratings on the games, and they tell you exactly what's in them as well. Meaning if there's a lot of sex scenes, violence and drug use, then it'll say it on the dang box so you can determine whether or not to buy it. Therefore, parents who want complain about those games NEED to pay attention more to the rating system like they do with movies.
As far my Uncle is concerned, I'm just going to say it. The man has always been known to be a bit of a jackass. Yes, I know that sounds highly disrespectful to the man, but I honestly don't have a lot of respect for him, and we're not even that close anyway. I personally think it's f***ed up that he would allow his own son to play games like that, but who am i tell him how to raise his own son? Besides he's very ignorant anyway, so you can't do much about him. Heck, if he won't even admit about what he did to my mom as a kid, or admit what his father ron did to her as a kid was wrong, then I seriously doubt he'll admit letting a five year old kid play grand theft auto is wrong. Therefore, i just leave david to his own devices, and he stays out of mine. again, we're not that close.
The sad part is the fact that when this story reaches the attention of the public it will give credence to the kid's cause, then it will be a more difficult lesson that he needs to learn.
Essentially they are saying that a kid can walk into a classroom wearing a pink tutu and not expect anybody to bat an eye. And they better not because I've got moral superiority on my side.
The thing is, My Little Pony stuff is popular with quite normal young men a.k.a. Bronies. So I really do not think there is anything abnormal with it. The bullies are just behind the times.
My little pony is specifically marketed for girls, not boys. What surprised me was the part in the video when the "Young Turks" already determined the kid is a Homosexual, as if all gays have some inner desire to be like girls. They are putting that boy into a box that personifies their stereotype of what gays are.
Actually, it's just the toy lines and merchandise (backpacks and etc) are specifically marketed to girls, as there's no disputing that. Hell, you can easily say the past "My Little Pony" cartoons from the 80's, 90's and etc were geared towards girls. However, the current Hub cartoon series itself isn't. It's actually tailored to general family audiences, as the creator of the new series, Lauren Faust, even stated this, as they wanted the new series to break away from a lot of the stereotypes, and cliches, about girly cartoon shows.
As far as the kid's sexuality goes, I don't know him personally so I can't really make that distinction. If he is, then good for him. If not, then good for him as well. I honestly don't give a damn if the kid is straight or not, but I do care that it seems like the bullies picking on him didn't seem to face any consequences for their actions.
As far as what the school told the victim and his mom, I can see why they would do that. I mean they're looking at this from an adult's perspective. To them, it's just a lot easier to tell one kid not to carry a backpack to school, then it is to catch these bullies in the act because the reality is most of today's public schools are way over crowded. And if it's more than one kid that was bullying him, then that just creates more work for the faculty so they took the easy way out with this one. I honestly don't think the school was trying to blame the kid, even though I can see how one might think that, but I don't believe that was their intention.
I was bullied a lot as a kid myself, so I can relate to some extent about what this kid is probably going through, but it was NEVER for anything like this. I mean even back when I was a kid, my father would instill values in me to know enough common sense not to go to school wearing something like a "teenage mutant ninja turtles" jacket and backpack, as you would've gotten beat up wearing that crap.
To be honest, I never really understood why people need to flaunt their fandoms in everyone's face by wearing stuff like that, as I usually don't. Seriously, I mean I'm a huge star trek and star wars fan too, but you won't ever see me going around wearing a damn starfleet uniform, nor will you ever see me quoting star wars all the time to people. However, I do respect people that want to flaunt their fandoms in front of others, but the sad thing is if they do that, then they leave themselves open to being judged because not everyone is going to share their same passion and/or understanding of the fandom they're a part of. It's a sad reality we live in.
I can see what you're saying, but I don't think there's any reason anyone should be bullied because all bullies are cowards if you ask me. Notice how none of them will ever try to pick on those who can fight back. It's a power trip for them. They feel like s***, so they pick on those who can't fight back because it somehow gives them a sense of power and control to where they no longer feel like crap; while also allowing them to vent out their frustrations on their victims. I understand this completely, and wilderness has a point that education on this issue is key because it seems like many of today's youths don't know how to handle bullying.
And for the bullies themselves, they may not see what they're doing is remotely wrong because they probably don't have strong authority figures at home to teach them these values, so they lash out to get attention not realizing the pain their inflicting on their victims. I think if schools did educate kids more on the topic of bullying as wilderness suggests, then I think that might actually help a few bullies see what they're doing is actually wrong in a lot of ways. Just my two cents anyway.
You know something, I got bullied as a kid for a short time. Three kids chased after me one day, the next day it was eight, then ten. My dad told me to pick out the smallest one out of the group and pummel the crap out of him. I did it. Suddenly it all stopped. It was really that simple. If the bullies see that a person is going to fight back they will stop, it's just a fact. They will always take the path of least resistance.
If the kid wants to wear the backpack I don't have a problem with it, but this "anti-bullying" campaign is a farce. People want to make laws to protect kids from learning about the real world, when it actually makes things worse for the kid.
Just step back for a second and consider what they are cultivating.
I believe I just said that though when I stated that all bullies are cowards by nature. Notice they don't pick on others that can and will fight back, as you just confirmed what I just said with this statement, so it looks like we're in agreement that if a kid sticks up for himself, then that's one sure fire way to end bullying. However, the real issue is that not every kid is so lucky to be able to fight back though.
Some kids may not be as strong as their bully, or that victim might be disabled to where it's almost impossible for them to fight back, so what then? I understand what you're saying, and I don't disagree with you.
However, we have to keep in mind that not every child is capable of fighting back for themselves, so something needs to be done to educate these kids to learn how to cope with bullying on an emotional and mental level at least. As you are right, kids won't always have the luxury of an adult to help them out all the time with a bully, so they need to have some guidance in how to handle that.
Hmm you do have a point there. If we coddle these kids too much, then they may not be ready for the real world when they get older, as we both know that the real world isn't exactly a friendly place to be all the time. As Stallone said in "Rocky Balboa", "Life is about how much you can get hit and keep moving forward." In a way, that speaks a lot of volumes about life in general. However in an age where parents are starting to have kids more often when they're still teenagers, and with the economy being what it is to where parents rarely have time to educate their own kids on how to deal with bullying, it seems like something needs to give. I mean we're seeing more and more kids killing themselves over this crap, and we're hearing about these victims starting to fight back using guns to where other people get killed over this as well. It needs to stop.
If the parents can't keep their kids in line, then perhaps it's time the schools start to educate kids more on how to deal with adversity and bullying because we can't just sit back and allow these things to remain unchanged.
I still don't see how that guy wearing a "My Little Pony" get up is any less stupid than a guy who goes to a football game while wearing body paint. Maybe you see it differently, but I think both are equally ridiculous. Again, that's just my take on this picture.
Bullies are cowards, but unfortunately, not all kids can (or will) fight back. Some kids---some people, are easily overwhelmed by bullies. And bullies know this and target these people---whether children or adults.
As for schools: We work on it every day, but we are fighting many who think bullying is just fine; part of being a kid; part of socialization.
That's the thing about the bronism fad, people trying to blame us when they happen to be amongst people who aren't a part of it. They may find acceptance and support on the internet, but the real world is different.
I can see what you're saying, but how is that any different from other fandoms like trekkies and star wars for example? You have very outspoken and flamboyant fans in that fandom too. Hell, I seem to remember when the Harry Potter films were out in theaters that people would flock to see it while wearing all their Harry Potter cosplay costumes, so what makes them so different though?
I do think you're right that if you do choose to flash your fandom about something in someone's face, then you do open yourself up for ridicule; particularly if that interest involves something that most people may not deem socially acceptable. However, that doesn't give the bully the right to demoralize a person just because they happen to be into something that they might not agree with. However not everyone sees it that way, as some people feel it's okay to ridicule or fear anything that might be deemed different than the social norms of our world.
It's just a sad reality we live in. I personally don't see it as a big deal because I never understood why people had the necessity to show off their fandomship like that in public. But again, that's just me, and I can see why the mom would be upset about this along with the child. Again, it is what it is. I think the schools need to start educating their children on how to deal with bullying because it's getting out of hand; especially with all these suicides running rampant along with gun violence (i.e. the columbine incident that also involved bullying if anyone here recalls).
I think the biggest difference is that bronies expect to be accepted since their fandom has taken over half the internet. I'm sure the Trekkies know their place.
But that still doesn't answer my question though. In society, there's many types of fandoms. I mean one could argue football fans are a form of a fandom as well. If a person wears a football jersey of say "Aaron Rodgers" while his best buddy wears a "Tom Brady" jersey, people accept them anyway as not seeing it as a big deal. People don't even bat an eye at them, yet if one kid wears a "My Little Pony" backpack it becomes, "Oh my god. Stop the presses. This kid might be a homo! For shame!" Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, as I don't have problem with people that are, but I'm just saying.
I'm just curious as to why some fandoms are more socially acceptable than others. But then again, I think a lot of that has to do with gender roles we have in society that people get in their heads at an early age. Or most people it seems. Not saying anyone here is like that, but it seems like if a man acts anything less than how society views masculinity, we as a society question his sexuality in the same way if a woman shows too much toughness then people start to think she's less of a woman somehow. Take Xena Warrior princess for example. I never was a big fan of that show, but I have to admit Lucy Lawless was good in it, and I personally thought she was hot. But again, that's just me. However, a lot of people thought she was gay because of how overly tough she was in the show. Maybe she is gay. Maybe she's not, but i just think it's amazing that if a woman shows a hint of toughness then she's labeled as possibly being gay. Whereas if a man even shows a hint of a feminine side, society questions their sexuality as well. I just think it's stupid if you ask me. I mean why do we have to assume a woman is gay just because she kick people's a**es every bit as good as her male counterparts? Or for that matter, why do we have to question a man's sexuality just because he cries during a sad movie?
I don't know. Maybe I'm completely full of crap right now, but this is just my own personal observations.
Bullies also bully boys (and girls) who exhibit so-called "normal" gender roles.
If we suggest that bullies are bullying to enforce codes or to enforce "appropriate" conduct, then we are endorsing bullying as an appropriate socialization technique.
What is that lesson? That he needs to conform to some external model of conduct or be punished by some self-appointed vigilantes?
There's a great documentary called "Bully" that I recently Nexflixed and watched. It follows the lives of four kids who deal with bullying everyday in public schools in different parts of the country. I have no problem admitting that watching this film touched home and brought tears to my eyes.
One of the problems I saw in the film and actually lived through was that none of the administration provided any real solution, even when concerned parents brought this to their attention. They kept saying, "We can't keep watch over everyone and everything that happens." My reaction: I'm sorry, but that's what you are paid to do. You are paid to provide a safe learning environment for every kid that walks through those doors.
In my personal experience, I was once sent to the principles office for standing up for myself against my everyday bullies. When the principle asked me why I fought this other student, I told him he was calling me names (racist ones) and bullying me. The principle overlooked the fact that this other student laid his hands on me and I defended myself. Instead, he simply said, "Just because someone calls you names doesn't mean you have the right to hit them. Words are just words."
He didn't even let me explain that the other kid was punching, pushing me and grabbing my neck, he just kept repeating that line over and over. I got so frustrated I shot back with, "So if I called you a name, you wouldn't do anything to punish me for it?"
"Words are just words," he repeated again.
So I called him a name, and he proved me right by suspending me for it. Before this, I had talked to every teacher, the vice principle, and the principle about being bullied, but they gave me the exact same line that the principle in "Bully" did, which was they could do nothing about it. So, I thought if they can't do anything about it, I have no other choice but to defend myself in any way that I can.
It was frustrating that this has not changed for kids of today and I'm near my forties so it's been awhile since I've been in elementary school. Our public schools have become like the Wild West instead of a place of learning, and it's the attitude of "I can't do much about it" that lets this epidemic persist.
First of all, the mother should have issued a suit against the school authorities for indicating that it was the child's fault that he was bullied for wearing the bag. When such problems are reported to the proper authorities, ACTION should have been taken. The bullies should be have punished and perhaps suspended for a period of time to teach them a lesson. Oh no, it is so much easier to further bully and stigmatize the victim. The mother should not have taken the child out of the school. She should have pursued the issue further, even taking legal action against the school for allowing the bullying to occur. Even if she puts the child in another school, there will probably be bullies THERE. The solution to bullying is not escaping from it but to CONFRONT and FACE the issue dead on!
This time, my friend, I agree with you 100%.
We cannot escape bullies---they are everywhere, but we can work to make their lives a living hell whether in the classroom or the boardroom; we can work to tell them that we do not accept this as a society; that we will work to punish them until they cease and desist.
The more I see and hear of bullying cases, the more concerned I become, and the two on the video are a great case in point.
Nowhere in that video was there any indication at all that the child being bullied ever got any training or counselling on how to handle the problem. Just that the bullies were evil and should be punished, along with the stupid school that took the easiest and most effective way out to stop the problem.
And yet...they also commented that another boy in another state had tried to suicide over the same thing - My Little Pony paraphernalia carried to school.
Doesn't anyone see the bigger problem here? We simply cannot eliminate all bullying from our lives, no matter how hard we try. We can (and should) crack down hard on any physical attacks, but teasing a kid about his "feminine" or "childish" backpack - well, the kid needs to learn how to handle it. Because, sure as heck, he will face bullying at some time in his life and won't have a teacher, principal, or parent to run to. He'd better have some skills to handle it on his own.
So let's make sure our kids don't suffer physical bullying, but for the emotional/mental stuff let's teach them how to handle it. In an open classroom, maybe, with the bullies sitting right next to them. With an open encouragement to other kids to help out. With open disgust for bullies, spread where everyone,child or adult, can plainly see it.
And maybe, just maybe, we won't be seeing so many kids committing suicide because someone else teased them about their looks or sexuality or they're not with the "in" crowd.
I agree wilderness: We need---as a society, to make clear that (a) we find bullies disgusting and (b) that we will humiliate them.
I do need to say this:
I've been teaching for some 37 years now. I've taught from K through college and for the last 17 years have been teaching at the college level exclusively.
I am seeing increasingly violent and vicious bullying. What was, in the 1970s basically rough teasing, is increasingly becoming organized and stunningly violent and abusive.
As of the present, we are seeing bullying-related events that are rising to the level of felony assault. We are also beginning to see something called "mobbing"---especially among professional adults.
The good news: Almost all schools and colleges and many law enforcement agencies are aware of bullying as it exists today and do work with victims of bullying to correct the problem and are working with all students to raise awareness of the problem and its consequences.
I think that kids would have what backpacks they want, and what ever more they chose to where when it comes to clothes and so on. I think that the action performed by the school is weak. Bullies should not get away with it. Where are the tolerans, the adult society should defenitely be role models in this and show that it's not OK.
Schools need to do more work about what is accepted and not, set rules of behavior.
Every kid should be able to be who they are and don't have to be afraid of bullies...
Schools are working on the problem, but we find that we are sometimes fighting an uphill battle.
Believe it or not, there are people---so-called "adults", out there who not only tacitly accept bullying, but who endorse it and promote it.
There are. Just as there those parents who think the entire solution is some kind of magic wand that immediately all bullying from all facets of life - that children do not need to be taught how to handle being teased. That we need another stupid "zero tolerance" police like there is for guns, where kids are suspended for bringing in a cut out paper gun.
I hear you.
We need to be sure to not label teasing as bullying OR bullying as teasing. And anyone who has any right to be in a classroom or managing a school should know the difference between teasing and bullying.
And yet, I remember seeing where college students have suicided because of being teased about their sexuality. And the huge furor about bullying that went up when the teasing hit facebook/twitter.
So sure, classify heavy teasing in with bullying and forbid it. But make that only the first attack, the first step towards helping kids (and adults in the workplace) learn how to handle it themselves without crying for mommy to make it go away. And stop the nonsense about every possible slight that could be considered bullying is worth jail time or suspension - don't try to make forbidding bullying the end all of the problem because it isn't and can't be.
Like I said, we're starting to see some really bad stuff---felony stuff happening.
In the case of gay and lesbian kids being bullied about their sexuality, I think it's not just a function of the immediacy of peer bullying, but also a function of the adult bullying that comes in the form of indirect attacks such as the crap we all hear and see from extreme right-wing Christian clergy and their self-serving media and political friends.
My sense is that for some kids (and young adults) there is a piling on of bullying at school, at home, in society.
The best thing we can do for these kids is to make sure we get them the message, as the Trevor Project tries to do, that "It gets better" and that is a lot of life, living, love, and support beyond the reach of bullies.
I don't think it is any "piling on" of bullying - I don't think it has changed substantially since I was in elementary school. Some of the topics used by the bullies have, but even there it is rare to find anything new. Just the same old garbage that has been used since time immemorial.
Instead we sit back and tell the bullies not to do it, then act surprised when they do it anyway and our kids get hurt as a result.
I wish I could agree that it's the same stuff we dealt with when we were kids, but I've got to tell you that some it---not all of it, is way out of any bounds that we experienced.
I'm 59 years old---and so when I was a kid bullying was pretty much accepted as a right of passage of sorts; just part of being a kid. And we pretty much were all left to our own "devices" in terms of dealing with bullies. Bullying was not just verbal, it was physical--a lot of it acted out in on the playground and on the streets.
But today, in addition to the stuff we experienced, we are seeing (particularly on college campuses) rape and other sexual violence; felony non-sexual assaults; false reporting of incidents to the police; hazing; destruction of personal property AND we are hearing from the perpetrators that they were just "teasing" the victim---read bullying the victim.
A matter of definition; as far as I'm concerned those (all but hazing and sometimes that, too) are crimes, not bullying. No different than shooting someone, or stealing from them. They are not something that belong in the same category as bullying; they are crimes for the police to investigage, prosecute and sentence to jail. Not the same as putting something on FB or some little kid taking a poke at another.
And some of that HAS gotten worse. It's just not what I or any reasonable person would call bullying. A rapist is not a bully; he/she is a criminal, hopefully behind bars. Same for felony assault, same for destruction of property. That our stupid justice system, politicians and sometimes parents scream for a wrist slapping instead of punishment doesn't make it bullying, either - it just show the height of stupidity people will go to to "protect" their "children" from the consequences of their own actions.
But it is not, IMO, these random criminal acts where we need to concentrate of teaching our kids how to deal with. That is more of the FB posting, the sexual harassment/teasing, the emotional upset that kids (and adults) try to raise in one another. Teach our kids to control their own emotions, teach them how to deal with that kind of bully, and the problem will take care of itself. Refuse to do that, putting all effort into getting rid of bullies, and we'll still have our kids hanging themselves because someone said something bad to them.
There are some children who are simply sociopathic or psychopathic. They refuse to acknowledge a concept of right and wrong. They also have no empathy towards others.
Many bullies come from harsh and cruel environments where parents are oftentimes the bullies in their families. Some bullies are oldest children who believe that might equals right and see nothing wrong in bullying their younger siblings. Others may be middle children who are jockeying for some type of territorial eminence within the family consternation.
There are others who despite coming from a warm, nurturing home, believe that because of their circumstances, looks, socioeconomic standing, and place in the school pecking order, that they are better than others. They are not hesitant in using their respective status to lord it over others. Some bullies may have lost their joy for life while others really do not care about others only themselves.
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