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Tale of Two Cocks

Updated on June 12, 2012

Tale of Two Cocks

This adventure began on our honeymoon. I call it Tale of Two Cocks. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. Two cocks as in roosters.

I won’t mention the year but we went to Havana, Cuba for our honeymoon so you know it was some time ago.. My husband loved sports – any kind, any place. He had always wanted to see a cockfight and he had heard that they were legal in Cuba.

The concierge in our honeymoon hotel – that’s another story – suggested we ask the senores in the bodega (bar) down the street for directions. Since Rocky, my lovable husband, didn’t speak Spanish at the time, I was the principal interpreter with my limited vocabulary of high school Spanish.

We marched fearlessly into the bar and I approached the bartender. But first, how was I going to ask? What the devil was the name for cocks, or more exactly, roosters? Well, I did know the word for fighting – luchando – and although I didn’t remember ever learning a word for roosters, I did know chickens – pollos – figuring that was close enough.

So in my best bilingual manner, I asked him, “Donde estan los pollos luchandos?” Where are the fighting chickens? He looked at us for several moments without a word and I could imagine wheels spinning inside his brain. Then he understood. “Si, si,” he said. “Yo entiendo.” I understand.

He gestured that we should follow him as he walked out from behind the bar and straight out the door. The four viejos (old) men who had been in the bar followed us, too. We paraded for several blocks until we came to a bus stop and the bartender, our guide and interpreter, motioned we should wait there for the bus. So we did and so did our five-man entourage.

Soon a very old, rickety-looking bus with open sides came along and our guide motioned it to stop. He had a short conversation with the driver gesticulating at us, the gringos , and we boarded the bus. There were about 20 local folks on the bus, and it wouldn’t have been so crowded except three of the passengers had goats with them. Real live goats – on the bus. I remember wondering if the goats represented pets or dinner.

The Journey

Mercifully, the ride was only about twenty minutes because as we soon discovered, the bus had no springs and the city streets were not paved – they were actually bricks set in a haphazard manner. It felt like riding in a vehicle, and I use the word loosely, that had square wheels.

We arrived at our destination. We knew we were there because the driver stopped the bus, got off, followed by several of the bus riders who wanted to watch this action, and one of their goats. The driver pointed up the nearest street and said, “Los pollos luchandos estan dos calles.” We started up the block with the driver, the passengers and the goats watching us go.

This was real adventure. We were excited. My high school Spanish was working for us. Two blocks up we saw an enclosure with a ticket taker in the front and a very large sign, “ZOO.” My husband was hysterical; I didn’t think it was so funny. Our bartender/guide had given us the directions to the place where we could find fighting chickens – if they were angry at each other – the local Zoo.

I’ll never know if we were victims of a local joke or victims of my poor Spanish, but the ticket-taker saved the day. He knew where the biggest local cockfight was and phoned for a taxi. We arrived at the fight site without incident and seated ourselves in the stands.

The Cockfight

Now Rocky not only liked sports, he liked to gamble on sports so he looked around and saw a fellow waving pesos in the air beckoning for someone to match his bet. He motioned he would bet on the other cock and a second fellow held the money.

The fight started. There was a small problem. One of the cocks was white, the other mostly black. But we didn’t know which was our cock. Who should we root for? The solution was to watch the other bettor.

The two roosters wore little sharp steel razors strapped to their heels so thankfully, as far as I was concerned, the cockfight did not last long. One of the cocks was killed. Now the problem – how do we know if we won or lost? “Watch the other guy,” I said. “If he looks unhappy, we won.” Sure enough, he looked like it was the end of the world and the middleman approached us with our winnings.

So Rocky made ten pesos and saw his first and last cockfight. To end the story with a moral: It’s a wise man who knows his own cock.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2010, 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."

Comments for Tale of Two Cocks

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    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      Funny you mention the speaking circuit, Docmo. Been there and done that, but writing hubs requires a lot less traveling. Thanks for your comical remarks. I'll leave the Highlick, Hindlick, er ... Heimlich maneuver to you, my funny friend. And I mean 'funny' in the finest sense of the word.

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 6 years ago from UK

      Indeed. It is the wise man who knows his own cock.You should really be on the after dinner speaking circuit - maybe not- you will have em all choking with laughter that there'll be non one to do the High lick- I mean Hind lick- no - Heimlich manoeuvre.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, John. You were thinking about something else when you saw the title? Well, I'm not at all surprised since I believe you are a red-blooded sort of fellow - if you know what I mean. No apology necessary. Thank you for dropping by, the 'truly awesome' and unique comments, and the up and away.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      Providing a gotcha with the title for you, Linda, is payback indeed. Good heavens, what did you think I would be writing about? Don't answer. Google may be watching!

      Thank you for finding this hilarious. Your visit, your laughter, and your kind comments are much appreciated.

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      drbj, this is truly awesome hub (when I saw the title I was thinking about what you mention in the first paragraph...shame on me...LOL). Unique hub, as unique as the author!

      Voted up and away


    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      You had me at the title drbj! This story is hilarious even though it wasn't what I thought it was going to be WHICH made your storytelling even better! Thank you for the laugh!:)

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, lex, it was my pleasure to share this blast from the past. The entire incident WAS funny at the time, but even funnier when recollecting it. Delighted you enjoyed reading it. Thanks for the visit.

    • lex123 profile image

      lex123 6 years ago

      Thank you drbj for sharing this amusing story. Looking back to those days is really funny now. Truly enjoyed reading it.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Loved your comments, Martie, so comprehensive, so knowledgeable, so absolutely smashing. You are so right in your observations about how some folks may react too quickly when they see or hear something, before taking the time and intellect to understand the meaning.

      And look at what profundity other commenters like yourself have brought to the table. Makes my day, sweetie.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 7 years ago from South Africa

      Now let me just stop laughing.... I honestly wanted to be a serious and objective judge, making a righteous verdict in the case fagger versus drbj.... then Epi’s hilarious comment cracked me. Then Micky, exposing the profoundness of the English language, almost makes me cry.


      The faggers obviously cannot read, or they cannot see any words behind or next to the cocks they see in their minds. Some words do struck some people with blindness, you know.

      I enjoyed this story, drbj, though I can’t handle two cocks while they are fighting with each other. Even giraffe males, when they slam each others with those long necks of them - no blood, no killing - give me the creeps. But, and I admit this blushing, I am, sometimes, too cocky for my size.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Well said, Micky. Any comment I might make in response would be negligible in the face of your singular 'great truth.' :)

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Well drbj, a man needs to know more about his cock. If you're going to bet on it, play with it, or just show it off, we should know more about it.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Audrey, for loving this. The entire experience was funny at the time but even funnier as I look back on it. And it was all true. Often the best stories are, don't you agree?

      Thank you, too, for the bookmark; it is my pleasure to provide a good laugh. Any time!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      I love it! I laughed MAO while reading the first paragraph of "The Journey". Square wheels...very funny. So happy I found and read this hub. Bookmarking it to return to when I need a good laugh. So very happy to have you share this. Bit thumbs up!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      I know, I know, Stan - sick and wrong and yet I love it.

      It's true what you wrote about the title. Twice I have been censured by having Adsense removed, and twice I have written email to HP powers explaining that the cocks in question were fighting gamecocks, not what they were thinking, those devils.

      And twice they reinstated my ads. BTW, where do I find Penthouse forums - in that magazine? just wonderin'. Thank you for the 'hysterical' - that makes two of us!

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 7 years ago from Nashville, TN

      This is sick and wrong on so many levels. The title alone should have you permanently censored from the pages of Hub and sent straight to the Penthouse forums. And did I mention it was hysterical?

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, barby, sorry you were a bit disappointed but all's well that ends well, dontcha think? Delighted you enjoyed the moral of the story.

    • barby2kool profile image

      barby2kool 7 years ago from Connecticut

      I had to read your story when I saw the title, a little bit disappointed when I saw it wasn't what I thought it would be. The disappointment went away just as quickly after I started reading..I think you guys were the victims of a joke that ended the part about a wise guy who knows his own cock (LOL)

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Delighted, A.C., that I gave you a laugh with this true story. Isn't it funny how the true stories are always the best?

      Thanks for visiting and your kind comments. Any time.

    • ACSutliff profile image

      ACSutliff 7 years ago

      Thank you for the entertaining story! A wise man really HAD better know his cock! (Boy, did that make me laugh!) I'm glad you two eventually made it to the place and got to see a real live cock fight, and you even won the bet! Great story!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      susie - I was angry at first because I thought we had been tricked but then we both started laughing hysterically, because trickery or not, we were led to a ZOO, not a cockfight. But it all ended well and made a great story to be told over and over. Thanks for enjoying it and the pleasure is mine.

    • Sweetsusieg profile image

      Sweetsusieg 7 years ago from Michigan

      I love your moral!! hehehe.. To see your faces at the zoo, now that would have been priceless! I can only imagine it..

      What a funny story. Thanks for sharing!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Sorry, epi, but in this case, the groom WAS the best man! :)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 7 years ago

      ... well gee I`m kinda disappointed I thought this hub was gonna be about something entirely different - a bride, her groom and his best man!!!!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 8 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks for enjoying my stories and writing - I appreciate your comments, gpinheiro.

      I believe this hub was flagged because of the word in the title that means more to most than just a male rooster. Can't imagine what else that word could possibly mean!!!

    • gpinheiro profile image

      gpinheiro 8 years ago from Portugal

      Thanks for this wonderful story. As you i, can't stand animals fighting and dying, but as i was progressing in your story it was just like i was there watching it. I really love yr writing and stories. Pls keep on. I can't understand why Google flagged it!!!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 8 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks, BJB, I thought it was. Nice to get confirmation.

    • BJBenson profile image

      BJBenson 8 years ago from USA

      laugh out loud.

      This was very funny. Know your own cock!!!!!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 8 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Maita. I enjoyed watching the people but not the cocks. Too bloody for me. When I visit your lovely country, I will take part in all the sightseeing available ... but not the cockfights. One was enough.

      Thanks for the visit.

    • prettydarkhorse profile image

      prettydarkhorse 8 years ago from US

      You won hehehe, cockfighting is legal in the country I came fiorm drbj, Philippines and we grow rooster which my dad used for cockfighting hehe, Thanks for this share, I know you enjoyed your trip and what an experience, Maita

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 8 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Jacob, glad you enjoyed my true story.

      I found myself reliving it and laughing as I was writing it.

    • jacobkuttyta profile image

      jacobkuttyta 8 years ago from Delhi, India

      Very interesting story. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it with us.


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