ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Coolville Spats

Updated on September 24, 2012

Down and Dirty Disagreements

Long a well-traveled east-west route through Ohio, The James A Rhodes Appalachian Highway passes through Coolville, Ohio on its way to West Virginia. This part of the country has hosted many famous spats, battles, disagreements, tiffs, spats, dust-ups, and tête-à-têtes.

Sleepy Coolville persists as a monument to compromise and lottery tickets, but history cannot be ignored. Well, history can be ignored, but your score on the Ohio Graduation Test (OGT) will surely suffer. Read on as we investigate disagreements worthy of The Hatfields and McCoys but not rising to the level of a made-for-TV miniseries.

USS Fairplay. Such boats provided crucial defense to the good people of Coolville during the Civil War.
USS Fairplay. Such boats provided crucial defense to the good people of Coolville during the Civil War.

The Battle of Buffington Island

Peace and serenity were threatened in 1863 when confederate troops led by General John Hunt Morgan attempted to cross the Ohio River into Union territory. They chose Buffington Island as their egress point, possibly because it was due south of Coolville, but history is murky on this issue. Morgan may have been planning a spirited 20 mile march up Ohio SR 124 to billet his troops in the Coolville suburbs until supply lines could be restored. Anyway, he didn't make it.

(The) Ohio (State) University

Every city in Ohio, except Cincinnati where they have a life, is constantly embroiled in name claims asserted by universities in Columbus and Athens. Coolville finds itself geographically closer to OU but graduates and drop-outs from both fine public institutions dot the landscape throughout the entire state. A few University of Michigan graduates appear infrequently in Ohio, no one cares what they think.

It's an ongoing spat. Each university claims the word The. No lie. Admissions departments from Columbus and Athens carefully explain to incoming students the significance of being the first Ohio university. Freshmen orientation is serious orientation, not just a map of the quad.

Don't fight over me. I'll eat anything. I'm not worth a spat.
Don't fight over me. I'll eat anything. I'm not worth a spat.

Catfish Bait

The ODNR (Ohio Department of Natural Resources) administers over 100 public access boat ramps and the Coolville Public Boat Ramp is one of them. Any boater holding valid permits and floatation gear may use the ramp to access the Fourmile Creek and the Hocking River. It's all good until the topic of catfish bait arises. Strongly-worded conversations break out among lifelong friends. Families are slightly torn asunder when the subject of chicken livers vs dough balls is broached. Depend on the good folks at Riverside Bait & Tackle, The Cool Stop, and even White Marsh Bait Company to set you on the path to successful fishing. End the spats: we can all just get along.

Generic cans that could be Coke or Pepsi and will keep us from getting sued.
Generic cans that could be Coke or Pepsi and will keep us from getting sued. | Source

Pepsi vs Coke

Stronger towns have been rent asunder by lesser spats. McDonald's offers Coke, Taco Bell provides Pepsi. These are Great American Restaurants and Coolville has one of neither. The James A. Rhodes Appalachian Highway winds through scenic southern Ohio and winds past a veritable plethora of virtually identical fast food restaurants offering various varieties of both soft drinks. Batavia is home to a McDonald's franchise. Even Mt. Orab has one. Parkersburg, West Virginia, the eastern terminus of the James A. Rhodes Appalachian Highway, has at least 5 sets of golden arches and too many Taco Bell installations to count.

Unfortunately, travelers passing through Coolville do not have the opportunity to order a plain Quarter Pounder with cheese or a taco with Frito's in it. Fortunately, the Cool Stop Truck Stop fills a much needed need in the thirst-quenching department. Unfortunately, motorists must park and disembark in order to achieve a Pepsi or Coke: there's no drive-through. Fortunately, The Cool Stop offers a wide range of caffeinated, decaffeinated, sugared, and sugar-free libations. They also have ice.

Federal Hocking vs Trimble

Throw out the record books when the Lancers square off against the Tomcats on the football field. Last year's 36-nil drubbing in favor of Trimble was hardly indicative of how seriously annoyed these two teams are with each other. Only 34 miles separate the two storied programs. Players meet regularly at the Cool Stop as they quench their thirst and apply for jobs. Alumni from Trimble end up working at the Coolville Public Library and graduates of Federal Hocking find gainful employment at Frog Ranch Salsa in Glouster, within the shadow of the Trimble athletic complex. It's an uneasy truce at best.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Dum as ever. Who reads this stuff? I sure did. Now I can go to sleep.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Wise of you, nicomp, to use generic soda cans.

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Wayne Brown : Together we can solve these problems.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 

      6 years ago from Texas

      It brings me comfort to know that this heartland of the northeast is setting the trend on issues which plague America. Having grown up in a small southern town with absolutely no evidence of chain store fast food, I know the rigors of finding a good meal...just follow the truckers and look for fish bait shops along the way...that's what I learned it. Funny...thanks for sharing! UP WB


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)