They wear hats in Coolville, Ohio
It's not Paris, Milan, London, Sydney, or Tokyo, but fashion trends in Coolville impact what people wear on their heads in southeast Ohio. No one wants to be seen at the Cool Stop (25780 OH Route 7) sporting inappropriate headgear. Last years' fashions will not get you into the Coolville Lions Club. What happens here impacts purchasing decisions in Walnut Creek, Sugarcreek, Apple Creek, Rock Creek, and Beavercreek. People are watching.
Fortunately for you, hats popularized in Coolville can be ordered online. There's no need to speed down the James A Rhodes Appalachian Highway, risking a professional encounter with the Ohio State Patrol. You don't have to be in Coolville to dress like you're from there. Read on as we introduce the most popular hats for this year's happening hipster.
Ohio State Buckeyes Hat
Only 98 miles northwest of Coolville reside over 52,000 students, many of whom wear hats to disguise bed-head during Econ 101 recitation. Scarlet and Gray predominate because Maize and Blue are hideous under even the best circumstances. Don't get involved in that spat. It's impossible to say for sure, but many of students on the OSU campus are from Coolville and they probably brought their hats with them.
The Ohio State University Hat
Being the first state university in Ohio carries many responsibilities, one of which is having a really cool hat. Green and white OU hats abound in Coolville because the Athens campus is only 22 miles away on the James A Rhodes Appalachian Highway. Some of the Bobcats commute from their childhood homes to classes in Engineering, Journalism, and Osteopathic medicine. They pause at the Cool Stop Truck Stop on their way to school for Code Red Mtn Dew and 89 octane unleaded. They wear hats while doing so.
Marietta College Hat
Navy Blue and White goes with just about anything. If you're getting married or heading off to the Coolville boat ramp to fish, or both, a Marietta Pioneers hat covers your head fashionably. The Pioneers have been providing quality educational experiences and also hats since 1835.
University of Phoenix, hat optional
Traditionally, college required getting dressed and leaving the house. Conventional wisdom dictates that since a job requires human interaction, then preparing for that job should also include a few face-to-face classes.
Conventional wisdom seems woefully unconventional these days in Coolville, Ohio. No longer do residents pull on pants to attend college. Thanks to advances in telecommunications, online courses with or without hats can be attended. The University of Phoenix offers such online courses throughout Athens County and beyond.
Plan to dig in the dirt, but plan ahead by securing a fashionable Caterpiller hat. These toppers are worn by the most discerning heavy equipment operators from Coolville to Circleville to Smithville. They efficiently absorb flop sweat when you accidentally rupture a 36" water main or drop your bucket onto the the neighbor's Lexus.