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Daily Affirmations Gone Wrong

Updated on May 2, 2012
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 7 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.

Attempting to be positive...

I know this may sound crazy, but once or twice, people have actually accused me of being negative.  Whatever.  I am just a little sarcastic ball of sunshine.  At any rate, perhaps I need to try to look at the glass as half full.  Maybe I need to be one of these people that thinks positive about everything and then things will go my way.  I've tried to come up with some great daily affirmations, but something tells me I am not doing that right.  Wait, that is being negative.  Nevermind.

Some daily affirmations...

  1. I am a good person. I am a good person. I haven't killed anyone or anything... yet.
  2. I have really nice eyebrows. That has to count for something, right?
  3. I am great at many things: eating, sleeping, watching TV... dude, I need some new hobbies.
  4. At least I have a job!
  5. I have a place to live, a place to sleep, clothes to wear, and food to eat. Wait, I'm out of chocolate. The day is ruined.
  6. At least my hamster loves me. When I feed her.
  7. Maybe I can't afford heat, but I do have an electric blanket. Not everyone can say that.
  8. Serenity now... serenity now...
  9. I have money in the bank. But wait, I have a pile of bills on my desk.
  10. I will win the lottery. I just need to play to win. I forgot that detail.
  11. I will start playing the lottery. I will be a winner. I will be a winner.
  12. At least I am smart and stuff... kinda.
  13. Sure, I can't afford a car, but walking is way healthier for you anyway. Cars are totally overrated. Nothing beats good health. Yep. That is right.
  14. I can almost touch my nose with my tongue. Not many people can say that. Well, not that many people will admit that, but whatever.
  15. I am forever finding change on sidewalks. Free money!
  16. Spring is here and the summer is coming! Hooray for no heating bill!
  17. I still have really nice eyebrows.
  18. I still have that job.


Submit a Comment

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Honestly, they do not work so well. I am constantly chanting, "At least I have a job... at least I have a job." It helps most of the time.

  • Haunty profile image

    Haunty 7 years ago from Hungary

    The oddest collection of affirmations. Do they work? I imagine they sort of keep you the way you are. Which is a good thing! I tried affirmations, but being the complete slacker I ma I just failed to use them regularly. Anyway, should you ever decide to get serious with this, it's said that saying "I'm pretty, I'm chic." doesn't work so well as saying "You're pretty, you're chic." In other words, it's better to address yourself in the second person. Loved the hub and laughed hard. Thank you.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks, Angie. I am trying to be positive. I must assure you, my eyebrows are pretty awesome. Have a great day!

  • Angie Jardine profile image

    Angie Jardine 7 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

    Can't really comment on your eyebrows, Jeannie but am very impressed at your attempt at being positive. Now go and feed that hamster ...

    All the best


  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thank you so much for the compliment. I just checked out your page. Love the coyote hub!

  • jrsearam profile image

    jrsearam 7 years ago from San Juan, PR

    You're funny, looks like I found another source for my daily laugh. It's great to have found you and I look forward to reading more of your stuff....JR