Secrets You Should Take to the Grave
Honesty is the best policy... right?
I am one for being totally honest all the time. Some of my friends (and certainly my enemies) would say I am brutally honest to a fault. However, there are some secrets I think people should just keep to themselves. There is no need to share too many details with too many people. For that matter, you don't need to share some facts at all. I say, just take some secrets to the grave. It is best for everyone.
Some thoughts and feelings we have are just too evil. I have a theory even the nicest people are walking around thinking or doing some things that would make the rest of us cringe. Sometimes silence is simply golden. There are some secrets that are OK to keep! We live in a time of over-sharing. Maybe we were better off as a society when we were a bit more private. For instance, here are a few things I think are better left unsaid:
You are in love with a family member.
OK, so it is totally normal to love your family. However, it is not so great to be in love with a family member. Strangely enough, I do think this happens from time to time - probably more often than you think! Sometimes cousins have crushes on each other. Sometimes brothers and sisters are not raised together, so they feel a close bond (maybe too close) to each other when they do meet.
Guess what? Don't mention it! Most people think it is weird. There are laws against it in many states. So just keep it to yourself. The last thing you want to do is get drunk at your aunt's wedding and blurt out your undying love for your Cousin Pam. Keep it silent and keep it in your pants! And for goodness sake, don't hit on her while she is trying to eat some in the corner in a desperate attempt to avoid you. wedding cake
Of course, there are exemptions to every rule. Most people can look past distance cousins getting together. Sometimes a step-brother and step-sister that did not grow up together might find there is an attraction to other. Every now and then you even hear of a mortifying situation with a brother and sister hooking up since they never realized they were related. Yeah, it happens sometimes. However, you know when wrong is wrong, so just calm down and don't mention your unhealthy obsession with family members. Chances are, you will outgrow it at some point in your life. Save yourself from the humiliation.
You can't wait for your uncle to die.
Clearly we've already determined some people have major family issues. Maybe your problem is not that you love too much; maybe you love too little. Let's get real, we all have some annoying family members. Often, we still care about that family member in some way, but sometimes that is not the case. If you hate a family member and can't wait for him to kick the bucket, you might want to zip your lip about it.
Maybe Grandpa was a mean old geezer that never allowed you to have Jello after dinner. Perhaps Uncle Bubba gave all the other kids chocolates for Christmas, but gave you lumps of coal. Or maybe, just maybe, you are simply a greedy jerk that is waiting for rich Aunt Hilda to die so you can cash in. Shut up about it!
You are not going to win anyone over with your stories about how you can't wait for Cousin Fred to croak so you can inherit his boat. Believe it or not, some guys even hit on women with pick up lines about the amazing inheritance they will get with their parents finally die. To any guys out there using that as a pick up line (and you know who you are), there is a special place in hell reserved just for you.
You had sex with the president.
I know, I know, it must be tempting to tell everyone you know you are having an affair with the president or any other politician for that matter. However, if you actually like that person, you just need to keep your mouth shut. No one needs that drama. Do you want the president to get kicked out of office? Would you like to see your face all over the tabloids? Do you want his opponents to obsess over your affair rather than focusing on all the good he has done?
Personally, I think it is terrible for a guy to cheat on his wife. With that said, it is not my business. As long as no one is cheating on me, I don't need to know. Really. Please. Don't tell me!
As long as a politician is doing his job, I don't care what else (or who else) he is doing on the side. If you are opting to do some dirty deeds with the president and it is not illegal, shut up about it. Don't get some president thrown out of office because you just have to let your big-mouthed friend in on the secret. Trust me, the whole nation will thank you for it.
You have super weird, but harmless habits.
Let's face it, we all do weird stuff when we think no one is looking. Maybe you having some strange bathroom habits or you like to munch on chalk or your nose picking habit has reached new heights. None of us want to know about it.
Chances are, you have a really weird habit. You know... the kind of creepy weirdness you've searched for online only to find out that people don't even want to talk about it there either. It is OK. We can all be a bit strange sometimes, but there is no need to tell the world about it. This is especially the case if you enjoy something others may judge as immoral or sick, but it harms no one else.
I say, as long as you are not messing up anyone else's life, you go ahead and be as freaky or wacky as you want to be. But hey, please leave me out of it. If your weird habit is going to make me want to throw up, I don't want to hear about it. Please take that one to the grave with you.
Keep it quiet!
I realize discussing the issues you are having in your life can be very therapeutic. That is why I recommend finding a therapist if you really must speak to someone about any of these secrets. Yes, you can tell your therapist. No, you don't need to tell me. Nor do you need to tell Jerry Springer or any of his guests. Nor do you need to tell the people stuck on an elevator with you or the person sitting next to you on the bus. Let's make sure some secrets stay secrets.
Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle
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