Do you ask your guests to bring their own?

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   lobobrandonposted 4 years ago

   Well, as a kid all the parties we hosted everything was on us and that is still the norm in India. When you invite someone, you provide. The only exception is if you organise a kid of pot-luck or a picnic where people decide what each one is going to get.
   
   I have since moved to Germany and I have seen a mix of both. If it's a party, it is usually on the host, but if it is just someone organizing a get together it's going to be a bring your own stuff to share with others kind of thing.

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      Recarioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

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         lobobrandonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         It's actually Summer right now, Das and it's not so cool.

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      TessSchlesingerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

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         lobobrandonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         A party is usually when someone invites you to celebrate a birthday, an anniversary or some other occasion. A get-together is when someone organizes a meet up of friends.
         
         Someone who is better located or has the right place for hosting a lot of people would typically invite a group of friends over. It cannot be expected that this person bears all costs if they are the one inviting all the time. Some friend groups work by moving to another persons place every other time and then it's usually all on the host.

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   wildernessposted 4 years ago

   I grew up with potlucks (usually after Sunday church, but not always) and birthday parties.  Party bills were footed by the parents of the birthday kid, but everyone shared in the cost of potluck dinners.  Some guests always arrived early, at least to larger functions, to help the hosts setup and there was help to tear down and clean up as well.  Semi-formal dinners, with a host paying for everything from food to drinks to effort were unknown.  Later, as a college student, even "parties" were BYOB (or wine or liquor, whatever your taste was).
   
   Seems to me that if you are unable, or just too cheap, to participate in the cost, whether by bringing something or reciprocation by holding your own dinner, you probably should not participate.  No one likes a perpetual bum that just assumes someone else will pick up the cost for them.
   
   Or maybe we were just in the wrong social strata; our get-togethers were for friends to mingle, chat, and watch children play.  The massive parties costing a host thousands of $$ to climb the social ladder of "high society" were not a part of our life style.

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   shanmarieposted 4 years ago

   There are several parties that come to mind in which people bring gifts, maybe not necessarily to the host but to someone the party is in honor of. Bridal showers, baby showers, birthdays, house warming gifts/parties, to name a few.
   
   But what you are describing sounds to me more like a potluck, which for anyone who may not know, is a gathering in which everyone contributes a dish or a beverage. It's meant to keep one person from the entire cost of such a gathering. It's also a way for everyone to feel included in contributing to the festivities. People can share their favorite dishes with others and then recipes can be exchanged. Usually, a potluck gathering does not occur at someone's home as a house party, though.

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      wildernessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Attended an extended family potluck in a campground.  About 30 families, or perhaps 100 people. 
      
      One couple a huge pot, maybe 20 gallons, and she made stew.  Everybody contributed - a can or corn, some carrots, a length of sausage or a pound of stew beef.  Some potatoes, some "special" seasoning, some Kielbasa.  Anything that sounded like it even might be found in a stew.
      
      And then everybody brought another dish as a side and we all sat down together.  One of the best meals, and certainly the best stew, I've ever had!  The company didn't hurt either - we had, I think, 5 generations there.

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   shanmarieposted 4 years ago

   I see now where Wilderness said something similar to my answer and I agree. Potlucks are generally not for the kinds of house parties meant to socially network for climbing social ladders and high society gatherings. They are more common among friends and family or other community gatherings such as church luncheons immediately after service is held.

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   bhattucposted 4 years ago

   If someon has invited us from his side then it is entity a diffrent story but otherwise in any contributory fun and get to gather we are supposed to contribute either in cash or kind.

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   Live to Learnposted 4 years ago

   Where I'm from it depends on the invitation. We have everything from pot lucks to dinner where you invite the guest and provide all. Etiquette dictates if it isn't specifically labeled a pot luck don't insult the hostess by bringing something.

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      TessSchlesingerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

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         Live to Learnposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         I'm in America. I've lived in the south, north, midwest and the west. And I've lived in other countries, albeit my social circles abroad were always mostly American.
         
         I don't know what to say. Everyone appears to be sharing different experiences and expectations of conduct. Maybe birds of a feather flock together? I have, occasionally, stumbled upon social groups where this is not the norm and what we call Karens here get all tiffy if you deviate. I remember a holiday dinner clearly identified as a pot luck where I brought a bread we traditionally eat on that holiday, along with other dishes, and the hostess took particular umbrage to the fact I'd brought that bread. She threw a hissy fit when her daughter asked for a slice to be put on her plate.
         
         Anyhoo. I politely avoid people and situations where I've identified ridiculous drama as a real possibility, or my children would be exposed to behavior outside the bounds of what I can explain away in a positive light. There's too many people in the world to remain in a social circle where what should be simple fun devolves into drama.

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            wildernessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Seems to me it all depends on the people involved.  When invited to a dinner (outside of a restaurant), we always as "What can I bring?".  If the answer is "Nothing" we bring nothing - if it is a beverage or a dish we bring a beverage or a dish.
            
            Can't imagine a hostess that would throw a fit over bringing bread to a potluck.

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               Kathryn L Hillposted 4 years agoin reply to this

               I have never attended a party here in California that was specifically for chatting and dancing.
               
               No, we have parties because it is fun to see people we know in a fun relaxed setting where if you want to bring food and drink you do. If you don't want to, and don't mind taking chances on what will be available, you don't.
               That's just us, here in So Cal.
               - where movie stars and the people who work for the Hollywood entertainment industry know how to have, hold and attend parties.
               I'm talking about PARTIES, though.

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                  Kathryn L Hillposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                  Actually, music was always the feature. Loud, great music.
                  Well, in the good 'ol days.

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