A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
by Kieron Walker 10 years ago
What is your favorite memory of your grandparents?
by lovelife08 10 years ago
What are some good grandmother/grandfather names?We're trying to come up with some names for my parents, since they're about to be grandparents for the first time. Any ideas? (They don't want to sound old, because they're not even 40 yet, so be creative, but not silly please.)
by Aficionada 11 years ago
What are the most appealing names grandchildren call their grandparents?
by Ann Carr 13 years ago
If you could see just one person again, who would it be?Whether still alive or passed away, who would you want to see & talk to again and why?
by Jewel Buzz 14 years ago
Jewelry has such personal meeting to each one of us. Perhaps you most treasured piece was a gift, an inherited piece or you treated yourself to something fabulous. What is your special piece and what does it signify for you?
by axxricht 14 years ago
Is it normal for children to get bored on long rode trips?My 8 yr daughter went on a long rode trip with her grandmother (a reitred educator) and she told her "once" that she was bored. Her grandmother is now bringing her back home stating that she has never dealt with any of her...
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