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imatellmuva's Social Media Rules To Save Your Sanity

Updated on March 10, 2013

I know…I know…imatellmuva and her rules…AGAIN! Who does imatellmuva think she is, you ask? Telling us what to do, and how…she makes me sick, you say!!

Rules are defined as a prescribed guide for conduct or action. imatellmuva’s sanity is sometimes compromised after logging onto social media sites. She imagines that there are others who also wonder what the crap are people thinking?!

imatellmuva does not want to appear overbearing, and she certainly doesn't want you to think that she thinks, she’s a know it all. It’s just that imatellmuva has a heap of pennies, and she IS going to put her two cents in, when and where she thinks it’s needed!

To save her sanity, and yours, imatellmuva has comprised a list of those things that she has identified as the biggest social media offenses.

By Vox Efx (Flickr: 50 ways to leave your lover - VoxEfx) [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
By Vox Efx (Flickr: 50 ways to leave your lover - VoxEfx) [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons | Source

1. Decide Where Your Convictions Are- Posts about Jesus and em’, followed by “…where the weed at?!” is confusing and trifling…at the same time!

2. Stop Asking Dumb Crap Questions- It is said that there is no such thing as a dumb question. imatellmuva assures you that this is false!

3. Refrain From Using Electronic Cards- Take a trip to a card store, and read through a few. You will see that these cards are absent of grammar and punctuation errors.

4. Give Credit to Authors of Original Work- Do not claim yourself as the author of a quote, cause’ we can Google it, and tell you that…YOU ARE NOT THE AUTHOR!

5. Stop Making New Language- Do not expect people to understand what the crap you mean from what you say! It is typical for people to use known text lingo, abbreviations, slang, and to speak in dialect. If you are making up, and using language that is only identifiable by you, then shut-it-up, and shut-it-down…I’m getting a headache just thinking about it!

By Brian Kerrigan (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
By Brian Kerrigan (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons | Source

6. What The What?- Some posts run a mile long, and are absent of punctuation. The only clear distinction is where the message actually begins, and finally ends!!

7. Refrain from DWP- If you are Drinking While Posting, your emotions are at times, exhausting, overwhelming, and a tad frightening…sleep it off, and return with a clear conscious!

8. Verify the Legitimacy of Claims- Many have, and continue to fall prey to hoaxes, and share what has already proved to be false. A little research will keep you from looking like an…well…you know!!

9. Type, Read, Delete- Consider what you are about to share, before you actually do. If you read through your message first, you might realize that what you are about to share is best reserved for the garbage.

10. Tidy Up Before Posting a Photo- At the very least, be sure that the bathroom mirror is free of toothpaste spittle…thanks!

By Paul Martin Lester (Author's own work.) [CC-BY-3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
By Paul Martin Lester (Author's own work.) [CC-BY-3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons | Source

11. Save the Children- Reconsider using the images of children for supposedly funny messages that include vulgar and obscene language. Remember that you complain about their use of the same language, and that you are the very same people who share missing children info; which will you be, the protector, or the exploiter?

12. Do Not Post Photos of Food- Well…some of you can, but the rest of you should know that your photos of food are equivalent to meals created on Professor Kool’s Fun School…NASTY!!

13. Do Not Claim What You Are Not- Just because you have a camera, does not mean that you are a photographer. imatellmuva knows photographers, and they are about that work, and you are not, at least…not yet! …Got It? …Good!!

14. Save The Drama for Your Mama, or Anyone Else…Offline- People at times have a boldness that they would NOT otherwise display in person. Consider Rule #9.

15. Say Thank You- When someone shares your work, your event, gives you a nod, do not be lazy. While you think you deserve support from others, and most times you do, you immediately become undeserving when you do not properly acknowledge what someone has done in support of you. It takes only seconds to type Thank You, but the sentiment lasts forever.

By Matthew Bowden ( [Attribution], via Wikimedia Commons
By Matthew Bowden ( [Attribution], via Wikimedia Commons | Source

16. Be Sociable- Social is defined as, of or relating to human society, the interaction of the individual, or the group. Sociable is defined as, marked by or conducive to friendliness or pleasant social situations. If you are someone who sends requests to others to follow you, friend you, etc. be the same person who interacts afterward…at least sometimes. Do not send a request simply to know what another is up to, or to ONLY promote yourself or business…get outta’ here!!

17. Let the People Who Can Tell a Joke…Tell Jokes- You are not one of those people! Please refrain, cease and desist from attempting to be funny. Stop it now…right now!

18. Where’s the Link?- If you ask people to visit your business page, or website, add the link when you promote it. Make it easy for your clients or potential clients to find you. You might have a huge audience, but there stands a chance, it could be even larger if you simply share the link! Stop spelling out the word dot-com with the name of your page; it isn’t cute, attractive, or appealing. The average person is not going to try to find it…they will however move on to something else; you had their interest, and now it’s…gone.

19. Stop the Kissy Faces- imatellmuva is unsure if you are actually blowing a kiss, or if someone snapped a photo of you during a sudden attack of the bubble guts! It’s scary…and far from cute…please stop.

20. Do Not Give Advice- Your ability to maintain a respected image, is skewed each time you share what is seemingly sound advice, but is not thought through…all the way through!

How can the last rule say, do not give advice, when technically that’s what you've done?! I’m glad you asked that question. Well…because you need it. Someone had to tell you. You might be up-in-arms, cussing at imatellmuva, flipping the bird, and more. imatellmuva can take that like a grain of salt, meaning that imatellmuva is skeptical that you really…really mean that, and even if you do, the rules… still apply!

imatellmuva is in no way attempting to shape and mold you into who she thinks you should be. She recognizes that at times you are misguided, and further recognizes that you wish that she would mind her business, and keep her two cents; the rules…still apply!


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