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10 Tips on How to Get Others to Respect You

Updated on March 15, 2013

In today's society, I've noticed that the main problem is our inability to respect others, when they really need us the most. The things that we were taught and our environment in which we grew up in has had either a negative impression on us or a positive impression. As generations have evolved and the economy has changed, our mindsets have been altered to look out for ourselves and to do what we have to inorder to get ahead in life. Despite this mindset, we still respect those such as elders and others that we look up to as role models. The problem is learning to respect those of different ethnicities, ages, and cultural backgrounds.

1. Respect Yourself

The first step in gaining someone else's respect is first learning to respect yourself. In order to get those around you to see you in a positive light, you must act,speak, and behave in a manner, which is proper and accepted. For example, spreading lies, starting drama, and bringing negative energy around someone is one way for people to not only respect you less, but to not trust you at all. Likewise, I do understand that not everyone is accepted in society such as motorcycle gangs, people with tattoos, and people with frowned upon jobs, nevertheless, there are still people in society that accept people regardless of how they appear or what they do.

2. Being Openminded

The second step is gaining someone else's respect is being openminded to other people's opinions about life, society, politics, religion, and traditions. The problem with this is that people assume that they are mostly right about everything. As they grew up they were taught the difference between love and hate, right and wrong, and religion; ultimately, choosing when to act on each according to the situation at hand. For example, someone may be a Christian,but there is someone else who is Muslim, who does not accept that religion. This causes closed mindedness and arguments because you are going against what someone believes and belittling it as if it doesn't exist. Sometimes in certain situations it is hard to help those to be open minded about another perspective especially when it comes to religion and politics because these are our core values, which are our deep beliefs that we believe to be correct. The best thing someone can do in these type of situations is to learn accept other things that the person believes in that are minor and that they are willing to accept.

3. Being Optimistic

The third step in learning how to gain someone else's respect is to try to remain optimistic, whenever you are around someone. I know there will be times when you are down due to a death, family issues, or financial problems and that you will act and feel accordingly. However, people will learn to respect your situation and to give you space accordingly. I mainly mean that you should be optimistic with the way your life is. Constantly complaining to someone about how your life isn't the way that you want it will in turn cause them to feel bad, be supportive of you, or cause them to give you the hard brutal truth, which is that you need to suck it up and deal with it.

4. Pay Attention

The fourth step in learning how to gain someone else's respect is to pay attention to what they are saying to you. You can do this in many ways but mostly all of the tips that follow:

-eye contact

-body posture

- facial expressions

Eye contact lets someone know that you are paying attention because they know that you aren't being distracted by someone else and that you are truly focusing on what they are saying. Your body posture shows if you are interested in what the other person is saying or not. Slouching shows that you are uninterested, while sitting up straight shows that you are ready to hear the important information that the other person is about to say. Facial expressions shows that you are reacting accordingly to the information that they are saying or are at least reacting as the person think that you might react. Sometimes people fail to realize that body expressions and being non-verbal are still forms of communication that people do perceive when having a conversation with someone.

5. Listen

The fifth step in learning to gain someone else's respect is to listen. Listening and hearing are two different things. Listening is being able to give your opinion on what you hear, whereas hearing is being able to perceive sounds and vibrations. People can always tell when someone is listening and when someone is not listening. Therefore, they are able to correlate that sometimes in whether or not you respect them.

6. Avoid Negativity

The sixth step in learning to gain someone else's respect is to avoid negativity. Don't try to always put your negative personal situations off onto someone else. This could be done by unintentionally putting your anger, pain, or unhappiness onto someone else. It is true that sometimes when everything is going right in your life, there always seems to be something that comes along to ruin your day, whether it is a minor or a major situation.

7. Be Honest

The seventh step in learning to gain someone else's respect is to be honesty. People expect others to be honest, even though they aren't honest all of the time either. The best way to gain someone's respect is to be honest with yourself and honest with the other person that is involved in the situation. This will help them to trust you as a human being and respect you as someone that is not afraid to be honest and willing to own up to any consequences.

8. Space

The eighth step in learning to gain someone else's respect is to give them space. Try not to be too needy or clingy. Even in friendships, everyone needs space every once in a while. This way you will learn to miss someone and your feelings will grow if you are in a relationship or have a friendship. Also, this shows that you respect someone enough to give them space, when they need to think clearly or if they don't want an opinion about a situation.

9. Good Advice

The ninth step in learning to gain someone else's respect is to give good advice. Whenever a friend or family member asks for your opinion, then tell them how you would handle the situation. If you have never experienced the situation, still try to give them advice anyway. The point of giving advice lets the person you are conversing with know that you are there for them in their time of need and they will respect you for that.

10. Never Assume

The tenth step in learning to gain someone else's respect is to never assume. Never assume that someone is okay with a group decision or a certain situation. Ask them if they are okay with everything that is going okay and if they respect the decision that everyone has made. For example, a decision on if the group of people should go to the mall, movies, or dinner. Asking everyone in the group their opinion instead of just going with the majority vote, shows everyone that you respect them and that you value their opinion as being important.


In the process of gaining someone else's respect, you must learn to first respect yourself. Treat others the way that you would want to be treated. Remember that if you want people to treat you a certain way then you must act, behave, speak, and present yourself a certain way. Try to be honest with yourself and others. Show others that you are paying attention and listening to what they have to say. Always give good advice in return and show others that you value their opinion.

Here below are a few links on how to do other things:

Have you used on or more of the tips that I have included in this hub ?

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    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago

      @Suhailandmydog I agree that being knowledgeable also leads to being respected and I'm glad you are going to put my tips to use and that overall you liked my hub.

    • Suhail and my dog profile image

      Suhail Zubaid aka Clark Kent 

      4 years ago from Mississauga, ON

      A great hub, the learning from which I am going to put into practice very soon.

      One thing that I know also brings respect is being knowledgeable and excelling in whatever you do.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @PaulKuehn Im glad that you liked my article and the tips that Ive included. Thanks for voting up and sharing with others.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 

      5 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand


      You have some great tips for getting others to respect you, and I agree with everything you say. Respect starts with respecting yourself. If you respect yourself, you will speak, dress, and act in a manner which wins others respect. Voted up as useful and sharing with followers.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @new2this oh so very true and i think the fact that people are constantly caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that they don't take time to appreciate the people that help them or are there for them

    • new2this profile image


      5 years ago from Hawkes Bay

      Awesome writing. Now all we need is for people to act on what has been mentioned here. Its the little things in life that are really important yet many really only think about themselves, shame really.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @LKMore01 thanks for voting up and i agree that the world would be very different maybe even a little more peaceful

    • LKMore01 profile image


      5 years ago

      Voted up and awesome, torrilynn. Excellent Hub. Imagine how different the world would be if we all followed these tips every day!

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @Lisa thanks for giving me your positive feedback and for voting up

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @rajan i thank you for your sound advice and how you feel about my article thanks for sharing this with others

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Very good tips Torri. For me, not taking anyone's views for granted would be my first priority. We have to work towards being accepted and this can only be through accepting the other's point of view.

      Voted up, useful, interesting and shared.

    • LisaMarie724 profile image

      Lisa Stover 

      5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      Great tips on an awesome subject. Voted up and useful.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @lindacee I feel the same as you do that my hub should be mandatory reading for everyone! And i also agree with you that respect is best learned while at home and thanks for voting up

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @Spongy0llama im glad you came across my hub and that you are going to implement them into your life. Thanks for reading.

    • torrilynn profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago

      @carol thanks for reading voting up and overall enjoying my hub

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 

      5 years ago from Arizona

      great ideas here, especially "the never assume" That alone is valuable. Thanks for writing a great hub.Voting UP+++

    • Spongy0llama profile image

      Jake Brannen 

      5 years ago from Canada

      Very nice. Some of these tips were very eye opening. I'll make a point of better implementing some of them into my life.

    • lindacee profile image

      Linda Chechar 

      5 years ago from Arizona

      Wonderful tips, torrilynn! Your Hub should be mandatory reading for everyone! We, as a society, have lost the capacity for respecting others. I feel the best place to learn respect is at home. But since that doesn't seem to be working, maybe it's time to add it to the educational curriculum! Voted up, useful and itneresting. :)


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