- Family and Parenting»
- Advice & Tips for Parents of Teens
What Our Teenage Girls Deserve
- Talking with your Teenage Girl without Arguing? Absolutely!
Teenagers are amazing to me. When you look in their faces you can see promise and curiosity. They have every opportunity to do anything they want with their lives. They are smart and eager and the world is theirs for the taking! It’s inspiring to see
- Teenage Daughters and Their Friends
Our teenagers deserve the same level of unwavering commitment and time that they have always had from their parents. They aren't done growing, learning and developing. Your guidance and strength is needed now more than ever!
- Teenagers: How much Freedom is too Much?
If teenagers were mature enough and responsible enough to make good choices on their own, they would be on their own. They are still considered children for a reason. There are many important lessons they still need to learn and they need your protec
- Is Your Teenager Paying Attention to You?
As our kids get older sometimes we get the feeling they aren't paying attention to us old people anymore but nothing could be farther from the truth. Our kids look to us for acceptance and affirmation just as much as they did when they were in the se
I usually enjoy sharing very light and uplifting experiences about my life. Only highlighting the positive and somewhat humorous situations and experiences.
However, I am going to forgo some personal privacy for this issue in hopes that it helps someone.. somewhere.
I was raised in a home that had very little communication and attention but a lot of alcohol and fighting. Not the best environment for a growing girl so I turned to the first boy who said he loved me and thought I was a Princess. About a month after my 16th birthday I got pregnant and surprisingly enough, everything just got harder. I was very alone no matter how many people I surrounded myself with, extremely angry, and more hurt than I can express in words. There is obviously a lot more to the story but I won't bore you with all the details. The point of this is that I have never forgotton how I felt growing up. I still am that little girl in so many ways.
When my daughter was a pre-teen and teenager I would watch so many of her friends and classmates go through experiences similar to mine and my heart would just sink! I would always do whatever I could for them but, I could never undo what their parents did , or didn't do. My step-daughter is now 15yo and it's the same story! The names change and no two situations are exactly the same but some of the behaviors are.
It seems like each generation gives up on the next. The parenting rules change when kids reach about 11yo and parents check out for some reason. Is it too hard? Do they feel like it's 'their turn to live a little'? Do they blame everything on the fact their child is a teenager now? Are they busy trying to be their teens 'Friend'? or Do they just not care anymore? I have heard all of these and I hope that surprises you!
One day my step-daughter and I were talking about some of her classmates and what she could do to help. We came up with the idea that teens should come with an instruction manual. It was a joke at first but when we started writing things down, I started really wishing that my parents had read it. We call it, The Do's and Don'ts when Raising a Teenage Girl.
I am going to post one rule per day in hopes that someone will read one or all of them and it will help a teenage girl like i was. If you don't agree with anything written please don't be shy! Let's get it out there and discuss it. Silence is a killer in these situations. Communication is key! Thank you!
Take her to get her hair and make up done professionally one time when she starts getting interested. This will make her feel special and important while teaching her some basics about hair care and make up colors/application. She will appreciate it from a professional while she would probably resent it from you. Make it a birthday present or some special occasion. Save her from the horrible blue eye shadow and black eye liner nightmare we all have to live down every time we look at an old 8th grade photo! Lol
Tell her she looks horrible when she is trying to figure out how to dress like a teenager. We aren't born knowing what make up colors go with our skin tone or which products help limp or frizzy hair. She is venturing out of her comfort zone and is at risk of peer ridicule as it is. Her childhood was spend dressing how you wanted her to and wearing her hair however you styled it. Now that she is thinking more abstractly she will need to try many different looks and styles to see what fits for her. She needs support and guidance from you. Harsh words from a parent have 1000 more impact that from anyone else. Her self image is relying on you, don’t let her down.