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Teenage Daughters and Their Friends

Updated on October 15, 2012

Parenting Teens Sure Isn't Easy

For generations teenagers have gotten a bad rap. When you mention that you have a teenager to someone they immediately give you the pity face and say.. “I’m sorry”. It’s true that the teenage years are different than infancy and childhood, there’s no doubt about that. This stage of development isn't worse than the others though, just different. It seems to me that one thing parents are overlooking is that their parenting style needs to change with it. I realize this seems like an overwhelming task at times but doing nothing is no longer an option. Parent’s everywhere need to roll up their sleeves and get dirty instead of throwing in the towel. Quit isn't an option!

Our teenagers deserve the same level of unwavering commitment and time that they have always had from their parents. They aren't done growing, learning and developing. Your guidance and strength is needed now more than ever! Being a parent is absolutely the Hardest Job on earth and I don't think anyone would dispute that. It is possible though, and a whole lot easier if you have a plan. Your girl is counting on you to show her how to be a striving, happy, confident, independent woman.

DO

Get to know your daughter’s friends. How many after school specials have said that before huh? It really does make a huge difference though! What I mean by ‘know her friends’ is not to interrogate them or hang out with them or interfere in their time together. But, do ask questions and pay attention. Do they skip school? Are they involved in activities? Are they telling stories about how their parents are never home? Are they dressed provocatively? (insecure and needing male attention) Watch and listen.


DON"T

Try to be your daughters “friend”. It blurs the relationship line and it robs your daughter of having a parent. This might be hard to hear but it’s very selfish on your part. Don’t get me wrong, you should take every opportunity to spend time with her and enjoy her! Create amazing memories and laugh together. Doing things you both enjoy. The difference is, a friend will help her break curfew and lie to see the hot guy at school, or defend her when she has clearly done something wrong. Her friends will always overlook destructive behavior or join in. Her parent needs to enforce the curfew and teach her the importance of being accountable for her actions. Friends are motivated by being ’liked’ by the other person. As parents we can’t fall into the trap of letting our need to be ‘liked’ by our teenagers control our actions. If mothers try to be their daughters friend, how many mothers does that leave her with? It’s about them, not us. We need to be strong and do what’s best for them and their future. They deserve it!

Do you know your daughters friends?

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    • roxanne459 profile image
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      Roxanne Lewis 5 years ago from Washington

      Thank you lovedoctor926! :)

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      This is very good information.

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 5 years ago from Washington

      Hi Sassydee, these Do's and Don'ts actually came from both. My personal experiences inpired my desire to learn as much as I could about teens and parenting. I got pregnant with my daughter at 16 years old and I didn't want the cycle to repeat itself. I have read every study I could get my hands on, took numerous different psychology courses in college, and have interviewed many teens and parents together and seperately. It's been a passion of mine for almost 23 years now. Thank you so much for taking the time to read them and for your time in responding!

    • sassydee profile image

      Delilah 5 years ago from los angeles, ca

      i really like this one too, is this coming from your experiences only or are you getting this stuff from research and proven facts? just wondering because so far it seems that I am doing good at this teenager girl raising stuff - per your do's and dont's so far! voted up on this one and interesting

    • Johnjfernando profile image

      John Chandra 5 years ago

      No problem;) I hope more people will read this article.

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 5 years ago from Washington

      We are always our own worst critics, no doubt! Learning that it's good to make mistakes as long as your trying and being genuine to yourself is HUGE. Sounds like you got a good handle on that which is awesome! Thank you so much for sharing! ;)

    • Johnjfernando profile image

      John Chandra 5 years ago

      I also forgot to mention that when I was growing up, my parents always wanted there kids to be nothing but perfect. I was the youngest and was overlooked by them as well as being overshadowed by my older siblings. Its been more than 20 years and the difference between them and me is that simple. I can anticipate downfalls and mistakes and getting over it. For them, its much harder because they have not understood the crucial experience not having to be perfect at everything. The pressure was hard on them.

      I think for me the pressure of always wanting 'to be the best in the world' was always there to begin with, but I also knew that perfection is the biggest flaw in a person as well as society. To have that is the disruption of the natural balance of who we are.

      Exmaple: Break-ups, failure in grades and classes in school, not excelling like an athlete on a highschool football team. I admit that sometimes my worst enemy in life is the one that's looking back at me in the mirror.

      Being yourself is all that is needed to be anything and be on top of the world. Just my input about life, really. Thanks again;)

      I'm going to share this in the forums. Hope to see there!

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 5 years ago from Washington

      You are sooo right about the Pageants. The pressure to be perfect at such a young age is insane! I don't know anyone who can live up to that without serious repercussions but to expose them to that at such a critical point in their developement is just wrong! Thank you for your input, it was awesome!

    • Johnjfernando profile image

      John Chandra 5 years ago

      Its even more sad when parents put there 4 year old daughter pageants. My mom thinks its cute, but she keeps missing the point just as everyone else that these grow up into troubles youths and adults who're confused about life later on because they were exposed to sexual appeal at a young age. Terrific hub! Voted up and shared as well. Thanks for the message.