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Updated on July 26, 2010


 Today many of our youth search for a role model.  I have to ask the question why the search? So many times we hear celebrities should be role models to which I reply BULL!!!!  If you have a child who is searching the cult of celebrity for a role model you have already lost the battle for your child’s soul.



Sure we are all very busy leading our very important hectic lives but don’t forget your children didn’t ask to be born to you. We all have a sacred obligation to take the necessary time to be role models to our children so don’t shirk this most important duty God gave you. Take time to talk to and not at your children and let them know they matter most to you.  A little daily attention can work wonders in both you and your child. It’s a learning experience for both.


The single most important thing your child will ever learn doesn’t come from books. It comes from the love and attention of their parents. Praise loudly in public and criticize softly in private and you’ll be amazed at the effect it will have on your children. I don’t suggest that you patronize them you must be genuine or a child will sense deception and all your efforts will be in vain.


Genuine praise builds love for you and self esteem for your child while deception builds nothing but scorn for you and confusion in the relationship. You have to let your children know you are the boss but you are also willing to genuinely listen to their point of view.  You may just get the surprise of your life at the intelligence they display.  You may even question their parentage such as “ Were they switched at birth”?



I have previously discussed my dad’s work schedule of 67.5 hours per week with every other night off at 6:00 PM and every other Sunday off.  Back in 1963 when I was a junior in high school dad let me have his car on a work night to go to a basketball game.  After the game ended at 9:00 PM some of my buddies and I started cruising around town. All of a sudden the news came on the radio and announced it was 10:00 (time for dad to go home). I said “Guys I got to go get dad it’s time for him to close the store.”  My friend Eric Jurgensen said, “Tom we’re listening to WLS in Chicago it’s 11:00PM here!” After I emptied the car I went to take my medicine and there was dad setting on the porch of the closed store. I had visions of never driving his car again at the least. I took the course of throwing myself on the mercy of the court. I apologized for at least five minutes non-stop while dad remained silent.  It was driving me crazy and I finally said “Please just kill me and get it over!” Dad very calmly replied, “I don’t ask for much I just like to go home after work and relax a little before bedtime, but this is the only time I will tolerate this do you understand!”


Now that’s a real role model to me.


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    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      Thank you for you visit and complimentary comment.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 7 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      Wonderful, wonderful hub Tom! Thank you so much.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      While I can somewhat agree with the principal of those outside the home being roll models in some instances. I still prefer that children have the opportunity to find a role model at home.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 8 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      I agree family should provide role models.Having grown u Catholic in the old church "saints" were considered role models as well. When we were confirmed we chose a saint to emulate. Civic leaders should look to themselves to be role models and try to do their jobs accordingly. I don't understand the idea of celebrities as role models unless one plans to make a career in acting, music or some othe appropriate fields.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      I think that is the correct and proper message. We all must make sufficient time for our children as it's the most important thing we can ever do.

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 8 years ago

      I agree one hundred percent. Great hub. To go back to the old fashioned values of family and what is important in our lives. It is not easy in today's times. Soo many toys, sooo many distractions..

      You are right. Time is the most valuable gift we can give our children.

      Thank you for this hub.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      Thanks for your visit and sage observations if children can't learn life's lessons at home they're way behind.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 8 years ago

      Very wise advice and a terrific hub. My mother and father were my role models. They taught me how to love and lead a life that i can be proud of and they did it by example.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      sheila b

      Dad knew how to get his message across. I've always tried to be considerate, but my Dad was much more of a man than I ever managed to be. I'm no slouch but Dad was very, very good.

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 8 years ago

      I never thought about it in quite those terms, but you're right. And I love how your Dad let you know he expected respect from you. I'll bet it helped make you a considerate man.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      If a child can't find their role model at home the odds are against them.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      Thanks for you comments and compliments. I totally agree I know I would have preferred a beating to the silent treatment, but I sure learned my lesson.

    • eovery profile image

      eovery 8 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

      This is great, These are real role models.

      Keep on hubbing!

    • SheriSapp profile image

      SheriSapp 8 years ago from West Virginia

      great hub!!! I try to spend the time driving home from school to catch up with the happenings of my daughter's school day. I think most parents could/should be much more involved in the lives of their children. As a teacher, I see many kids who would definitely benefit from a more active parental unit in their lives.

      When I attended high school, I went to a boarding school in VA. This was 1985-1987 and in-state long distance calls were outrageously expensive; my boyfriend attended a military schoiol about 15 miles away, but a long distance phone call. One month, I had a $500.00 phone bill. I felt horrible and begged my dad for my punishment, he said there was no punishment but it better not happen again (it didn't) and that made me feel far worse than yelling or screaming would have!