help with social services visit concerning son, do we sign the form

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  1. profile image48
    Amadaussposted 9 years ago

    Our 16 year old son was called into the nurses office after gym to examine some marks on his back.  My wife who works for the school in another building as a teacher for special needs kids and is loved by all received a call from the nurse asking if she was aware of the marks.  She said yes and told the nurse a doctor's appointment was scheduled for the following week.  Our son was not complaining about them and we did not see the urgency of forcing the doctor to see us immediately so we took the next available appointment.  The nurse not telling my wife, called social services in and had someone come in to question my son.  He told them nothing was wrong and said he was not even aware of the marks until my wife had told him about them seeing them on his back.  The social worker took pictures of his back.  No one brought up the point that he had grown over 6 inches in the last year which the nurse knew, and they could be stretch marks which is very common with this type of growth and the marks fit the pattern.  He is also on the golf team and a friend told us because of the sudden growth and then playing golf which stretches the back could also add to the marks.  The social worker called us and said because of this report, she has to come to our home for an interview and have us sign a form that we will not hit him while this process is taking place.  We immediately moved up the doctors visit before the social worker is to arrive at our home.  I am sure the doctor is going to come to the conclusion that these marks are stretch marks.  When this happens, should we still sign the form the social worker wants us to sign stating we will not hit him which is totally mind bogging because we have never hit him ever.  Is signing this possibly admission that we could have hit him in the past or should we just sign it and move on?   My wife and I have been married 26 years with no issues and I have been a baseball youth coach in my community for over 8 years with parents requesting I coach their children so our record in the community is very good.  Any help is appreciated.

    1. profile image0
      jjrubioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I would not sign anything...furthermore you tell them that you will not sign anything that implicates you in any wrongdoing that DIDN"T happen in the first place. You get an attorney to back you up on this. You do not want problems with CPS and all that crap. Get a letter from the Doctor stating his opinions and his testimony can be  ordered as evidence by way of a Subpoena to produce the medical records stating his evaluation. Whatever you not sign something like that. Get letters from friends about your character and your upstanding reputations in case it is needed further. Make sure you get copied of any paperwork from the Social Services ( you have a legal right to have copies).  GET A LAWYER.....

  2. compu-smart profile image51
    compu-smartposted 9 years ago

    Sorry to hear of  this Amadauss!

    Maybe you ought to seek advice from lawyer and  try asking the same  question at yahoo answers  which can be very helpful, or other forums that specializes in this...

    Good luck!

  3. Lisa HW profile image65
    Lisa HWposted 9 years ago

    Lawyers will often give a 30-minute consultation without charging you.  Also, if you do an online search for something like, "free legal help in _____" you may find names of attorneys who handle this kind of thing.  If you can afford your own attorney do that.  There may even be a free legal advice help line.  State Bar Associations may have sites that list such things.  So may the court websites for your area.

    You need to ask an attorney what will happen if you don't sign the form.  Sometimes it is failing to cooperate that will give authorities reason to take the child, at least temporarily.  Once someone has been accused of something (and the natural tendency is not to want to sign something "based on principle") they're pretty much in a lose/lose situation.  If you sign you don't know what they'll do with that.  If you don't they can say you won't cooperate.  Again, talk to an attorney.

    Having an "upstanding-in-the-community" reputation doesn't matter much to social services workers, because they know that people from all walks of life, and with all kinds of reputation, harm their children.  Working in the school or being a coach doesn't mean anything to them either.  Again, they know anyone may harm his children.

  4. profile image0
    jjrubioposted 9 years ago

    Some will give you a free consult but they are few and far between. 
    here is the link to the State Bar in your State. Take care!

  5. Mighty Mom profile image82
    Mighty Momposted 9 years ago

    You don't state where you live but the first thing I would do is look up child protection laws in your state. Find out your rights. Find out what they can do to you if you "do" sign vs. if you "don't sign" the form. Being educated about the process and your rights is very important.

    I also agree that you should get your doctor to write a letter stating his/her diagnosis of the marks. Best of luck to you and your wife and son.

  6. profile image48
    Amadaussposted 9 years ago

    Thank you so much for everyone's help.  Just got back from my doctor and she confirms that they are indeed Stretch Marks.  The doctor was amazed the school nurse and social services person could not see them as such.  She gave me a letter on her stationary stating they are stretch marks and told me to give it to social services person when she arrives in about 20 minutes.  One more point.  I did speak to a few people and they all told me that in some cases social services has more power than the IRS.  Having an attorney, which I do agree is a good thing, is prudent but it could sometimes set off red flags with why would you have a lawyer if you think you are innocent.  We are definitely not signing anything because after our doctor visit, their is nothing to sign.  The amazing thing is yesterday was a beautiful day and my son being a golfer, I wanted to take him to hit balls.  But because of this issue, I feared a remote chance he could hurt himself, or get hit by an errant ball from somewhere so I made him stay at home.  Even knowing we are innocent we still had concerns.   This has been a real hell.  Thank you all again for your help and concern.  It has been a very trying time.


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