jump to last post 1-10 of 10 discussions (10 posts)

How long is too long to blame your parents for the way you have turned out in li

  1. WordNLipsAffair profile image69
    WordNLipsAffairposted 7 years ago

    How long is too long to blame your parents for the way you have turned out in life?

  2. Cumbesef profile image60
    Cumbesefposted 7 years ago

    Blame accomplishs nothing.
    You can hold someone accountable.  The word blame holds a negative connotation.  So, if there is something that you do not like about yourself - regardless of how you turned out that way, the time to change is now and the person to hold accountable for that change is YOU.

    Children sometimes feel themselves 'victim' to how adults have reared them. Once the child is an adult, the responsibility to make whatever corrections are desired is theirs.

    Don't spend your life waiting for someone else to correct whatever wrong has been done to you.

  3. tracysmith159 profile image60
    tracysmith159posted 7 years ago

    One day is too long. Parents do the best they can and the rest is all up to you. If you don't like your life change. Get a new job, move, go to college. I would rather sell everything I own then to spend my life unhappy.

    You should be thankful to your parents. They gave you life.

  4. profile image0
    WildIrisposted 7 years ago

    It is probably too long if you're 75 years-old, laying on your deathbed still bemoaning how your parent's raised you. People carry around so much mental baggage, but this one about how your parents should have raised you better takes up a huge amount of psychic energy and certainly doesn't take into account that your parent might have tried to reach you, but your were not willing to turn you life around.

  5. helendanger profile image81
    helendangerposted 7 years ago

    Until you decide to grow up.  That means accepting your parents as messed up people who did the best they could with the information they had at the time.  They still might have done a terrible job, but the past can't be changed.  A big challenge of adulthood is to fix whatever got broken and move on. 

    And try to do better with your own kids...Even though doing your best still won't be good enough in some way.  And your own kids will eventually have to get over blaming you for something you did!

  6. WordNLipsAffair profile image69
    WordNLipsAffairposted 7 years ago

    This question is a general question and doesn't pertain to me at all. The question came about after hearing some people complain about their lives and then they put the blame on their parents for their lack of motivation and failures...which is sad especially after they have reached adulthood.  I agree with all of the answers thus far however growing up in a single parent home has made me a strong and determined and complete individual in all aspects of my life.

  7. wychic profile image88
    wychicposted 7 years ago

    I agree, any time is too long! If one is talking about a kid who is still in the direct influence of his/her parents, I can see where the issue would be a little more difficult to dismiss; however, we are each responsible for our own happiness. No one is going to make us happy or make our lives good, we have to decide to do it for ourselves. The only way a bad past should have an influence on our present and future is in what it taught us and what strength we were able to glean from the experiences going forward. Yes, my parents had issues and yes, it really screwed up my life while they had control of it...but now I'm an adult, one parent has actively tried to make amends, and those experiences have made it a lot easier for me to relate to a lot of people that I otherwise would not be able to, and helped me grow up a lot faster than I might have otherwise.

  8. johnsams profile image69
    johnsamsposted 7 years ago

    Reminds me of a quote from Albert Ellis: "The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."


  9. SweetMocha-Monroe profile image74
    SweetMocha-Monroeposted 7 years ago

    Some hurts are harder to get past than others. However, once you are independent of your parents, it is up to you to change your circumstance in life. Life is constantly moving, why waste your time filled with anger for your parents or anyone else. If you cannot forgive them just move on.

  10. Joni Douglas profile image85
    Joni Douglasposted 7 years ago

    You can blame them as long as you like. But it isn't doing you any good.  It is only hurting you, and maybe them as well. It doesn't accomplish anything and you will never learn from your mistakes. Unless they directed every move you have ever made, it isn't them. 

    Knew a woman whose kid wanted to blame his misdeeds on his rotten childhood and his mom. Now, granted, this kid had a  rough time of it. But.............
    The mom asked him?  Do you know the difference between right and wrong?
    The son answered Yes.
    Mom replied, Then I did my job!

    This may be oversimplified but basically it's the truth.

Closed to reply