Is it an extra challenge to be an older sibling?
Being an older brother and sister can mean multiple expectations from parents,siblings,extended family and the community.How does one choose the life they want to live without alienating loved ones?How can a balance be struck?When and how does one be themselves without estranging others in this situation?
Every person in the society and in the family has his/her own roles and expectations so elder siblings too have to pay much more responsible attitude.
If you think about it (the things you have written) all the time, then something will change.
Yes, it is more challenging. The eldest child of four, I had less childhood than any of my sisters because I was made responsible for them. When I got old enough I left the house and moved far enough away so I could not be relied upon to fulfill more family obligations.
The balance is struck by saying "No" when you need your own space. If people are upset because your every word and move does not please them, that is their problem. If they want to cut you off because you will not do what they say, they are acting like tyrants. You are a child no longer and you have free will. Tell them that. Most bullies will shrink from the truth.
Now because I am eldest I am being called upon to change my whole life and move near my parents who are in their old age, as if it were my job. Not willing to do this (I have a job and a life after all) I have invited my parents to move near me. Now they can make the choice.
What you have described is de rigueur for the oldest child. Oldest children are forced to be adult almost from the onset. They get the shaft while younger siblings COAST through. The life of many oldest children are analogous to forced laborers .
Absolutely! I was the oldest of three. My brother and sister were four and five years younger. I was expected to help from the time they were babies, started watching them at a young age and basically grew up a lot faster.
I think later in life, the oldest is called upon to fulfill all kinds of extra duties for the parents too. I know that I will have decisions to make as my parents age and that the final choices will ultimately be mine.
I'm really not sure on the balance issue as I've never been able to find it, lol!
Oldest children are expected to grow up-FAST! They are expected to be the responsible ones & example setters for their younger siblings.They are held to higher standards.They are often-OVERBURDENED! read more
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